what i’m doing this weekend, other than looking for love in all the wrong places and instead finding a damn good time. come with me! details below (but keep a fair distance, k? don’t want you ruining my game.)
THURSDAY
Brooklyn Cocktail History, brooklyn heights.
if you haven’t noticed, not coincidentally, brooklyn bartenders here tend to drip with the perfectly-curated aesthetic of the inside of the bars where they craft cocktails. the suspendered sex magnets at maison premier? the bubbly and brawny tour guides at brooklyn brewery? the mid-western hotties at lake street? willie nelson’s naughty minions at skinny dennis? and that hot girl who fell out of the prohibition era and behind the bar oak and iron? anyway. all of brooklyn’s finest craft cocktail makers, if my theory serves correctly (and by its very nature it fucking serves), will be at the brooklyn
historical society on thursday. get yourself a drink, a date, and plenty of historical facts to woo your new lover. 7-830pm, $12, 128 pierrepoint st. make mine a double.
historical society on thursday. get yourself a drink, a date, and plenty of historical facts to woo your new lover. 7-830pm, $12, 128 pierrepoint st. make mine a double.First Comes Love, comedy show at the bell house, gowanus
whether you’re looking for a fling, or a date, or a lover this weekend- i almost guarantee you’ll be happy finding a good laugh. said to be one of the funniest comedy shows in the city, inebriated actors act out adult film scripts from craigslist, live on stage. (seriously, go see it.) tickets $8 in advance, $10 at the door.
8-10pm, 149 7th st. let’s get it on.
FRIDAY
Just Friends at Brooklyn Boulders, boerum hill.
here’s a bold choice. looking for something that really rocks this friday? want to get a grip on your life? did someone leave you hanging recently? or do you want to get just a little bit high without being too messed up to meet people? do harnesses sound fun but not full on S&M? are you worried that i’m not going to stop with the puns? is it deterring you from the rest of this weekend guide? THIS is a climbing and socializing event at brooklyn boulders that looks absolutely dope. live music, wine, chocolate, friends, things to climb. $22 for non-members, and free for members (that means loads of limber hotties.) 575 degraw st, 6pm-midnight, bold move.
Get Dolled Up at Arrojo Salon, williamsburg.
chance favors those who are prepared– one of my favorite quotes and one that totally rings true for that hottie you about to meet this weekend. head over to arrojo salon in williamsburg friday night to get dollllled up- blowouts, braids, and makeup touch-ups. 11 broadway, 6-8pm. get glam feel good. and then get out there.
Dance Yrself Clean at Brooklyn Bowl, williamsburg.
dance yourself clean, or dirty, or into a new state of confusion where hygiene is relative and lcd sound system isn’t headlining coachella and daft pu
nk is fucking playing at my house, my house. (let’s all go to this event. and dance. to music inspired by the greatest band of all time.) 61 wythe ave, 11.30pm, $12. ’cause we’re north american.
nk is fucking playing at my house, my house. (let’s all go to this event. and dance. to music inspired by the greatest band of all time.) 61 wythe ave, 11.30pm, $12. ’cause we’re north american.It’s Friday and I’m Not in Love at Littlefield, williamsburg.
ok ok so the only thing more overdone than valentine’s day is hating on valentine’s day. and that’s what this event is all about- but let’s embrace the dark side and groove out to depeche mode all night, wearing all black (really, they’ll give you points on your monochromatic creativity), and partake in whatever dark little surprises they have promised.10pm-3am, $5 advance, $8 at the door. black is my heart.(kind of, not really.)
SATURDAY
Vendor Maker Workshops at Artists and Fleas, williamsburg.
make something more fulfilling than love and less resilient than a baby this weekend at the maker workshops at artists and fleas flea market- sign up for classes with your favorite makers and vendors, sip champagne, snack on sweets, make a gift for whomever is on your heart. sign up QUICK here, 70 N 7th st, feb. 13th and 14th.
for more funky-fresh valentine’s love crafts, check out the Bazaar Love Market in Red Hook and the Vegan Shop-Up in Bushwick, both saturday.
SUNDAY
Free Hot Yoga, williamsburg.
things are really getting hot. and flexible. and… free. at YO brooklyn, let’s all sweat out our weekend mistakes and start the day of love out with good intentions. 20 broadway, free, in every position.
Seven Minutes in Heaven, the Diamond, greenpoint.
ah, now here’s a valentine’s day event that doesn’t involve a $200 prix fixe and warm towelettes between courses (which i really, really appreciate.) $25 gets you a romantic gondola ride for two, champagne toast, oysters, and a commemorative photograph and sweet. this is a good idea. 5-8pm. email DAVE to reserve a time wit your boo. timing starts… now.Menage a Trois party with RINSED, location TBA.
oh, how i weep for your monday. if your that desirous to avoid the sanctity of valentine’s day or are just looking to commemorate the day with a bad decision to remember for years and years to come, my favorite party group invites all you lovers for a 12-hour sunset to sunrise party. (why. why are they doing this.) rsvp for location and imminent doom. here. $10 (plus all of your remaining dignity), 6pm-6am.
where to eat this weekend
Two words- bivalve aphrodesiacs. Relationship status be damned, you have a right to enjoy this delicacy with a glass of Chablis and feel downright sexy, slimy, and satisfied- the trifecta of valentine’s day adjectives. Amiright? (don’t answer that.) here are my top Brooklyn picks serving you up the region’s finest, on the half shell, along with a tempting list of wine pairings.
Greenpoint Fish Co, Greenpoint.
Happy Hour, $1 Oysters and $3 tallboy ‘gansetts, Monday-Friday 2-5pm
114 Nassau Ave
you’re the real catch.
The Bounty, Greenpoint.
Happy Hour, $1 oysters 5-7pm Tues-Sun
131 greenpoint ave
hunt some bounty.
Maison Preimere, Williamsburg.
$1 oysters 7-5pm Monday-Friday
298 bedford ave
down the hatch.
Desnuda, Williamsburg.
Happy hour, $1 oysters Friday 6-8pm, Sunday all night.
221 S 1st st
get desnuda.
Brooklyn Oenology, Williamsburg.
Happy Hour, $1 oysters every Friday, 6pm until they run out. Plus 2 for one glasses of BOE wine 5-7pm, daily.
209 wythe ave
own it.
where to drink this weekend
dive bars. trust me, these will be our safe havens, couple-free and cocktail-menu adverse. my neighborhood favorites include lake street, skinny dennis, irene’s pub (no website- it’s that polish joint at the corner of manhattan and bedford with the $1 jello shots and the dope jukebox).
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