St. Patrick’s Day is an enchanted time –
a day to begin transforming winter’s dreams into summer’s magic.
let’s all leave behind our winter bodies and have a fucking metamorphic st. patrick’s day and transform flawlessly into our beautiful springtime butterfly selves. you with me? (that was a rhetorical question.)
THURSDAY
Out With the Old, In with the New, Brouwerij Lane, Greenpoint.
mmm, nothing like a good spring cleaning to make way for the plentiful bounty of the upcoming equinox. well, our friends at Brouwerij Lane want to incorporate you as an active participant in this cleaning and purging ritual. no, this isn’t a clothing swap, or even a foam-party where everyone where’s sponge shoes- they need us, citizens of brooklyn, to be the worthy receptacles for their old beer. yes, this sounds gross. but think of it as a conservationist movement, as a inebriated exit from our wintertime dark-beer cocoons, as a noble fucking cause. let’s help them help us help them. and then us again. 78 greenpoint ave, 7-10pm, rsvp and come thirsty.
Greenpint at Greenpoint Beer Co. (it’s in Greenpoint).
greenpoint- we green all year here. but tonight and tonight only, so is the beer. (nice slogan, right?) it’s a night of traditional st. patrick’s day green-tinted debauchery at Greenpoint Beer Co- don’t act like you hate it, and if you actually do hate it, move on to the next activity on the list. as for the rest of us, we will be happily pairing our food-colored beers with bright green jello shots at irene’s pub all night. and doing fucking jigs. good luck with your non-technicolor evening. 7pm-the end, 7 N 15th st, let’s get lucky.
Jazz & Drinks, House of YES! Bushwick.
this is very, very suspicious. i don’t trust anytime that House of YES claims to be having a “classy” event. the description on their website reads: a warm, romantic evening in our bar and indulge in the perfect blend of cocktails, dinner, classiness and live jazz! who do you think you’re fooling? this is the place i go to run around like a banshee with my other banshee friends. sometimes naked. not to politely listen as the mixologist crafts me a personalized cocktail and my lover whispers sweet nothings into my ear just barely audible over the perfect syncopation of brushes-on-cymbals. come. on. however, this is a free event (with RSVP!) so let’s hedge our bets and hope at least for some rebellious cacophony. 2 wyckoff ave, 9pm to 2am. house of YES! where they don’t take no for an answer.
Tosca presented by LoftOpera, an alternative space in Bushwick.
opera in alternative spaces. echoes in alternating chases. incredulous looks among alternative faces. these are all reasons to check out Puccini’s Tosca presented by LoftOpera, bringing you operatic works in… well, venues you wouldn’t expect. oh, and also there’s the fact that you’ve been meaning to elevate your weekend activities since the shame that greeted you with your alarm clock monday morning. start here. $30. 8-11pm, performances march 17, 18. 198 randolph st. you’ll like it better than pirates of penzance.
Dirty Waltz Band at Threes Brewing, Gowanus.
ah finally, the waltz is fun again! just add bad intentions to your normal menage-e-trois rhythm with the Dirty Waltz Band thursday night at Threes Brewing. who are completely charming and talented and finally bringing this seemingly antiquated (or not oft revisited) dance to our ultra-hip brewery in gowanus. 8-10pm, $10 suggested donation, 333 douglass st. i’m giving it a 3 out of 4.
FRIDAY
Greenpoint Gallery Night! 7pm, free!
if for some reason you keep up with these weekend guides yet still haven’t spent much time wandering around greenpoint, i question your integrity. and you are probably an ex-boyfriend trying to keep up with my whereabouts and overall emotional stability. GOOD NEWS though, i’m still in love with you! this friday is your chance to embark upon greenpoint and explore until your little heart is content. it’s Greenpoint Gallery Night, and our good friends/direct competition at Greenpointers have put together this fantastic guide and there is no reason for me to do any additional work on the subject. support local artists and bartenders. and, you know, me. come and knock on my door. say hello. 7-10pm. all up in the hood.
2Night Show by Chez Bushwick, Center for Performance Research, Williamsburg.
Chez Bushwick, a dance studio centered on experimental dance and founded by artists presents this stirring dance performance and multimedia experience, focusing on the emotional experiences we have with others and within our own bodies via the relationships we make and leave behind. this sounds beautiful and expressive and emotionally jarring. tickets are sold out online but will be available at the door, $15, CPR at 361 manhattan ave, 730-930pm. heart left ajar.
ROOTS Cafe Poetry Series, Park Slope
there is nothing better than the warmth of shared verse among virtual strangers, especially now during our seasonal transition. come to roots cafe’s monthly poetry series and feel enlightened, rejuvenated, inspired… and perhaps a bit more grounded (that was a root pun!). contributors and observers welcome. 8-10pm, 639 fifth ave. seek, here.
SATURDAY
Cold Brew Launch Party, Blue Bottle Coffee, Williamsburg.
it’s warming up and that means our coffees are chilling out. and we get to say goodbye to the presence of those horribly wasteful cardboard coffee sleeves for people who visit this city and have soft hands (not for real new yorkers) for the entire season. come to Blue Bottle’s exclusive launch party for their cold brew on Saturday and celebrate caffeine and sunshine intake with absolutely no abandon. there will be snacks too! 160 berry st, noon-3pm, free! be cool, go sleeveless.
Coptic Binding Workshop, Talas, Bushwick.
if you first read this and thought it was an intro to a DIY bondage workshop, well… i did too. BUT, coptic binding is much more of a lifetime skill and can be shared among multiple friends without getting too weird. it’s a book binding workshop, people. which i’ve taken one, once, that was inspired by the multi-dimensional mind and journals of the wondrous dan eldon. these are skills that you’ll retain your entire life, and well- you’ll end up writing (or binding) the book on it. $55 includes materials, which materializes into a book! noon-5pm, at talas, 330 morgan ave. get in a bind. with me.
Billy Jones Presents: Matmos, at National Sawdust, Williamsburg.
GAH, this place! what a gift to the neighborhood! if you haven’t been to national sawdust yet, i will continue to feed you weekly information about it. and even well after you go. this saturday, check out Matmos. have you ever been inspired to make music out of the machinery at the laundromat? well. i don’t believe you. this electronic-pop music duo is known for their use of highly unusual sound sources. their new album is made entirely of sounds from a washing machine, recorded in their basement. see them perform live at National Sawdust, 80 N 6th st, 10pm, $25. tickets- you spin cycle me right round. baby.
Zero Presents The Masquerade, *secret warehouse* in Bushwick, I’m willing to bet.
AH. i wish their events weren’t so expensive, or that i committed to go sooner. or maybe that they would grant me exclusive press entry??! HM!? anyway. this is the pinnacle of warehouse party experiences. far from the dirt-floor-grunge-scene but more like everything you ever want to exist between the hours of 11pm and 8am, with everyone you love, and everything your heart has ever desired. (at least, that’s how i remember it. and that’s good enough for me.) AND you have to wear a mask. GO. go to this event. tickets, here. location to be released just before they event. 11pm until you turn into a pumpkin.
SUNDAY
31st annual blessing of the rides, opening day at coney island!
let’s be honest- coney island exemplifies brooklyn summertime. sun and sand and melting ice cream cones, hot dogs, freak shows, ferris wheels. it all starts and ends here and we happen to be on the good end of that. sunday is the official blessing of the rides, meaning the beginning of brooklyn summertime for all intents and purposes. and porpoises. come for free rides on deno’s wonder wheel! stay for everything else that is great in the world. starts at 11am, at 25 boardwalk, coney island.
Beetlejuice’s Wedding, House of YES, Bushwick.
see what i mean? don’t feed us any of this small-plates-and-light-jazz bullshit. weird stuff happens at House of YES, and that’s why we love it. sunday, come to a screening of Beetlejuice followed by a reenactment of Beetlejuice and Lydia’s wedding, and well… let’s just say for $42.50 you will view the screening, be a witness to multiple nuptials, be a consumer of gourmet popcorn and give the undead photobooth a whirl (or 5!). for just $65 you get all of the aforementioned oddities PLUS the opportunity to get married or renew your vows, and a champagne toast. no i’m not kidding. it’s all for you at the House of YES– where they don’t take no for an answer. 2 wyckoff ave. elopement never looked so… spooky.
where to drink this weekend
Achilles Heel, 180 West St, Greenpoint.
it’s no surprise that i’m a bit neighborhood-obsessed. and, well, borough-dedicated. if you don’t know of Achilles Heel, it’s from the man who brought us roberta’s, marlow & sons, among other emblematic brooklyn mainstays. this bar, tucked away on charming west st. of NoGreePo, was meant to embody the feeling of sailor’s leaving the shipyard after a long day at sea. although i doubt that they demanded the craftsmanship put into the exquisitely-curated cocktail menu, you’ll be charmed. trust me.
where to eat this weekend
Roberta’s Pizza Takeover at ISA, 348 Wythe Ave, Williamsburg.
AH well speaking of roberta’s! their impeccably delicious pies are migrating west for the rest of march for a non-hostile pizza takeover at williamsburg mainstay ISA. get a pizza and literally anything else on the menu, because everything at ISA is fantastic.
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