things i’m doing this weekend… that don’t include gov ball, but do include going to all the way more rad gov ball after dark parties (lots of which you will find listed below) and also hijacking kayaks (“hiyaking” as they refer to it in the biz*) (the biz of watercraft heist) and weazling my way into the actual fest. governors island may have been a former military base but let’s just say they have left a lot of permeable boundaries and i will see lcd soundsystem. me and all of you. on our kayaks. if you’re tough enough and interested, please let me know in the comments section below. and let me know what your tribe name will be for the mission. mine is kitchen mama, so if you wanted that to be yours, you best find yourself another mission.
only one kitchen mama here.
anyway VAMOS with the weekend plans! here they come!
THURSDAY
Artgasm Collaborative Painting at House of Yes, Bushwick.
it’s thursday. and no better way to shed your “i’m a semi-serious professional adult who deliberates over big decisions and manages my finances” faux exterior than to, well, mask it. with paint. and then to use your honest body to contort and collab, to dance, to twist, to sit and meditate. and you know, maybe have a drink or two whilst aerialists dance overhead. confused? me too, but not enough to keep me away from artgasm at the house of yes- where they don’t take no for an answer™. tickets, $15. party is 6-9pm at 2 wyckoff ave. don’t paint me ’cause you aint me.
Lucy Dacus and Sam Cohen at Rough Trade, Williamsburg.
SO much good music this weekend!! and this will kick us off. richmond native lucy dacus is like a hybrid courtney barnet meets stevie nicks meets all the slightly dark and witty ironic lyrics you’ve ever heard but make you feel good instead of bad. and she’s from my motherfucking hometown. playing a rad show with houston-born sam cohen who is everybit as deep and synthy as jack white, with an extra dose of raw dynamism that is borderline addictive. GO see them. doors at 7pm, show’s at 8, $12 or the cost of sam cohen’s album gets you in (with the album too!) 64 N 9th st, i’ll trade you rough for so much smooth.
Tiki Party, Brouwerij Lane
i neither know what this is about any more than i have any clue how to pronounce the name of this place. what i do know is this- they have a damn good selection of beers, a hip backyard, and if you’re lucky you’ll get a sighting of the old neighbor climbing up the back ladder with a bag of produce in his mouth, breaking into his own apartment. and you’ll think it’s pretty dope. come tonight to a tiki party with rockaway brew co, wear a hawaiian shirt and get a free pint! 7-10pm, 78 greenpoint ave, there is no point in clicking on this link because it hasn’t been updated since the 90s. just trust me, there’s an event there tonight. k? free plus the cost of beers. and tears.
Cabaret Under the Archway, Dumbo.
this weekly series hits every thursday night, june-sept, under the iconic brooklyn bridge archway and brings you a variety of shows ranging from all types of world music and dancing, dj dance parties, puppetry, improv theater, and plenty of beer and wine to help you blend it all together without missing a beat. this thursday presents a sultry cabaret and is totally free, 6-9pm, 20 jay st. it’s more than water under the bridge at this point.
Gov Ball After Dark: Bob Moses at Output, Williamsburg.
GAH if you see one gov ball after dark show, let this be… the one that kicks off all the others. bob moses happens to be the title track to my latest playlist and on top of that the guy is creating some of the best soulful dancey beats i’ve heard in a damn long time. he plays output thursday night, and we can all cheers govnah to that ish. together. just so you know, these tickets sold way way out and then they released more right here. so get yours right now. 74 wythe ave, 10pm-4am (sweet jesus).
FRIDAY
listen i don’t know what’ up with friday nights lately, but it seems that brooklyn is all but trying to convince us to stay in. however, we will not. here’s are your best options tonight:
Rooftop Reds Urban Vineyard, Vinegar Hill.
yep, that would be a rooftop winery right in the brooklyn navy yard, started by 4 dope friends and offering free tours, rooftop yoga, pop-up dining experiences, and a ton of events you should start sipping on now. or, friday rather. tastings and tours noon-9pm (come right after your summer friyay release), at the navy yard, 4th st, fill ‘er up.
Gov Ball After Dark: POLIÇA and Solid Gold, Brooklyn Bowl, Williamsburg.
being one of my favorite bands to listen to real loud in a car, i can only imagine how amazing poliça will sound in the space at brooklyn bowl- oh wait, or i’ll just hear them actually do it on friday. because they are playing tonight’s gov ball after dark show and their techno-infused cacophony is just enough to make me want to close my eyes and throw my arms around and lose it completely. 61 wythe ave, doors at 11, show starts at 1130. it seems that all of the links to the tickets are broken so… i don’t know. just show up. fuck the polic(a).
go to your favorite dive bar if you don’t want to do either of those things. my picks? lake st, ontario bar, the diamond.
SATURDAY
RINSED’s Annual Coke Yacht Boat Party, The Hudson River.
listen, don’t shoot the messenger. or, you know, pass judgements on the messenger’s extracurricular activities because of an event she’s reporting about. yes, i know what this event is called but that by no way means that there will be any illicit activities happening on said boat nor will i be aware of have anything to say on the subject otherwise. but what i (and you now) know is that rinsed throws the dopest underground parties in the city, and nothing is more underground than those that are floating on water. in a boat. with your friends and rad djs and an afterparty at a shitty club on the west side that we will all commandeer and sail that ship way way way way way into the sunrise. tickets, here, but they are going insanely fast i hear. so get yours and let’s set sail, baby.
hoUSe Exhibit and Interactive Installation, Governor’s Island.
part of a multi-event series on what it means to make a house a home, head down to governor’s island to (i just realized this is during gov ball? THIS IS OUR IN.) (don’t tell anyone… we’ll just “make ourselves at home” and shit) enter into abandoned army barracks where you’ll be encouraged to leave your mark via paint, pens, markers, or whatever medium you choose and interpret the feeling of coming to the US in a space that we depended upon to keep intruders out. let out your grievances or rejoice among strangers, let this me your litmus test on your current place in our wondrous and oft unpredictable nation. and feel free. (then let’s go dance ourslves clean, if ya know what imean). 1-4pm, nolan park 8A. see you there, homie.
Renegade Craft Fair, East River State Park, Williamsburg.
where crafts are dangerous again! head to east river state park to peruse among booths and tables of patiently created and curated goods that are guaranteed to charm the pants right off of you. which of course is fine because there are plenty of hand-crocheted undies to keep you covered. 11am-7pm, every saturday in june, but this is the kickoff so all the goods will be extra fresh. east river state park, 90 kent ave. make it til you break it then you buy it.
LIC Food and Flea, Long Island City, Queens.
my heart will always be with smorgasburg but damn that ish is overrun now. check out our near neighbor’s to the north’s response- the LIC food and flea, the still semi-undiscovered younger brother of smorg. all your favorite vendors, and just as many waterfront views. 11am-6pm, 5-25 46th ave, (what is it with everything in queens seeming to have a range of addresses? what?) yumyum eat em up.
Fête, Williamsburg.
this event is so emblematic of all of the things that i love about brooklyn and how it seems to flawlessly combine everything under the sun into some artful fusion performance or painstakingly crafted cocktail or selectively curated small plate… other cities consume their entertainment one single event at a time- we throw it all together, give it a non-descript name and a formerly abandoned and likely condemned location and then go to an after party. Fête is an immersive performance, street festival, and interdisciplinary live art with a casual party vibe, in an abandoned bank. it’s artists producing artists producing art producing your entertainment on saturday. 1241 bedford ave, 8-midnight, tickets, $10 in advance, $15 at the door.
The Freedom Party, Industry City, Sunset Park.
if you’ve been to industry city in the past 18 months then you know that this charming industrial river-front alcove is blowing up faster than… well, every single other square foot of our precious borough is blowing up, which is damn fast. head over for their kickoff of this weekly dance party, before it gets mega lame. 6-11pm, 638 2nd ave, freedom isn’t free- it’s $20. tickets here.
Gov Ball After Dark: Day Wave at the Knitting Factory, Williamsburg.
and this is where you will experience governors ball after dark, and after you experienced sneaking into it and relishing it and nursing your sunburn after it. here, at the knitting factory- they’ll have you in tsitches! (i know… i’m working on the slogan, ok? taking suggestions below in the completely empty comments section.) day wave hits the stage and hits you with all of his indie-rock-electro-pop magic. midnight, tickets $15, 361 metropolitan ave.
SUNDAY
Rocco’s Annual Pizza Eating Contest, Rocco’s Pizza (and just outside of it), Bay Ridge.
it’s summertime and that means new york begins it’s season where eating warm and savory foods in excess and as fast as possible is celebrated and encouraged. well, i mean, just the hot dog contest and this- rocco’s annual pizza eating contest in park slope. live band all day plus drink deals and pizza that you can eat at your own pace while watching some other people eat entirely too much pizza entirely too fast. event is free, but i’d use the bathrooms before the contest begins. because. oy. 7818 fifth ave, 1-4pm. fold ‘er over, get it in.
Big Thief Record Release Show at Mercury Lounge, Bowery.
you knew it was coming, but did you know it would be right here waiting to close out your weekend of pinnacle audible musings? well. then. i’ve still got it! here’s your reason to cross the river this weekend– big thief, alongside tiny hazard, twain, and sam evian, plays mercury lounge and will absolutely captivate you. and also promises to fill your sleepy little head with pleasantly raw folky tunes as you drift off into the desk chair land of ergonomics and spreadsheets. (dammit.) 7pm. tickets $12, 217 e houston st.
go forth, faithful readers. and look for me. i’m out there.
“Tsitches”? I saaaaaaid “pass the knishes”! As an aside, I’m all outta smoked fishes. Sounds like a good time still, if not entirely Kosher.