it’s a holiday weekend folks. so let’s all hunker down and strategically plan our celebrations accordingly. this isn’t the rookie leagues anymore, this is the pros and it’s your time to shine. and to drink beers. and to eat hot dogs and to make comments about how good life is, audibly and just below this post, in the comments section.
read on, i promise you won’t be able to hold back.
THURSDAY
The Nude Party, Baby’s All Right, Williamsburg.
if you’re reading this that means you have effectively made it to your holiday weekend and also that for some reason, you’re interested in me being a part of it. smart move, chaps. let’s start by exposing everything at the nude party (which is nothing like it sounds but also everything like it sounds) at baby’s all right, 146 broadway. $10 here is all you need to strip down and let loose.
Ready Freddy’s? at Freddy’s Bar and Backroom, Park Slope.
ah, my favorite type of brooklyn event- one that mixes so many things that would stand alone as more than sufficient entertainment until they are so intertwined you don’t remember what you’re seeing or who the performers are before you realize that somehow it’s you. you’re the whole act. for a thursday night of equivalent entertainment disorientation, head to freddy’s in park slope for a live music, immersive dance, and interactive video series. plus music by the experimental fancy space pop duo innera. tickest $5, 7-930, 627 fifth ave. dive in. or groove in. or boogie on over. just as long as you get there.
30 insufferable minutes of mmmbob by multiple bands followed by Improv, Williamsburg
mmm i don’t know about this. even as a lingering hanson semi-supporter (kind of), this seems very aggressive, and a bit dangerous. 30 minutes or hanson’s mmmbob played by a rotating roster of local musicians, nonstop. nonfuckingstop. those who survive without a drink or bathroom break receive a tshirt, that you won’t even want to wear to bed. survivors will get to experience an improv jam curated by the infamous matt “i’d rather be weird than good” strickland. 8pm-midnight, 790 metropolitan ave. mmmbobbadubadopbadooowopbadoobadop.
Memoir Writing Workshop, Brooklyn Library, Williamsburg.
for a more memorable option this weekend, head to the new york writer’s workshop series on memoir writing thursday night so you can finally make progress on that [memoir] you’ve been working on, hmm? because after all, with the constant and justifiable need to live in the moment, are we spending enough time reflecting? are we living lives that are both instagrammable and memoirable? the challenge to write something that feels relevant and inspiring is ever-present, and even more so when that something is your life. so come check it out. 6-745pm free. 240 division ave.
FRIDAY
King of Karaoke at Boulevard Tavern, Williamsburg.
so. this place closed, then reopened? and we should all sing about it. because that’s one more over on the great demons of gentrification and ghosts of sleazy landlords. so pick a song out of the big book of things you’ll regret in the morning and dont.fucking.look.back. 579 meeker ave, 10pm… until the fat phat lady sings.
Disco Dance Party at Good Room, Greenpoint.
ah, if there’s one thing i want to do to kick off a long weekend it’s feel good about doing bad things. and the only place to do that, of course, is good room- shrouded in good intentions and people pretending to be upstanding citizens since 2013. friday night, check out this dope disco ish that involves kissing and telling and a dj named dirty dave and anything else you wouldn’t mind trying. twice. 10pm-the bad hours, 98 meserole st. tickets, $10 right here or $15 at the door. feels good.
SATURDAY
The Amazing Brooklyn Museum Scavenger Hunt, Prospect Heights.
saturdays are about discoveries and there’s no better way to find lots of them than at a massive museum-wide scavenger hunt with your best friends, or soon-to-be-best-friends. 1-3pm, 200 eastern pkwy. let’s all find ourselves there.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FINAL. Atletico de Madrid v. Real Madrid. Milan, Italy.
this is the only thing you need to be concerned with on saturday. the rest of this post is just fluff. thursday is planning for saturday, friday is preparing for saturday, saturday is for getting in a hearty brunch, getting tattoos (not kidding) and well- the game. and sunday is for relishing in the glory that will be the champions league championship, finally. and monday is for socking it to all of the madridistas you know. tuesday is for pretending to be a human. or something. and then wednesday you’re on your own and thursday i’ll have more stuff for you, ok? sheesh!
so here are the best places to watch. i’m not going to tell you where you’ll have to try to find me. but i’ll give you a hint- (it’s el born.)
banter bar, williamsburg.
owned by a liverpool fan who always supports atleti and also never walks alone. 132 havemeyer st.
berry park, williamsburg.
best place in the hood to watch soccer- black out curtains on the windows, big screens, rabid fans. 4 berry st.
raizes, greenpoint.
portuguese joint on mcguinness that is my sleeper spot for watching a good luck game. empanadas are dope, the super bocks are… super. 139 nassau ave.
keg and lantern, greenpoint.
usually my go-to when i had to hide to watch midday games, but this place packs a lot of spirit. plus the outdoor space has screens too. 97 nassau ave.
el born, greenpoint.
my favorite brunch spot, tapas bar, paella stronghold and gin-and-tonic go-to will also be showing the game. which they only do for the derby or el clasico when both madrid teams are in the champions league final, which seems to happen quite frequently. let’s all go and drink mahous and chant and cheer, together. 651 manhattan ave.
LIC Food and Flea, Long Island City, Queens.
my heart will always be with smorgasburg but damn that ish is overrun now. check out our near neighbor’s to the north’s response- the LIC food and flea, the still semi-undiscovered younger brother of smorg. all your favorite vendors, and just as many waterfront views. 11am-6pm, 5-25 46th ave, (what is it with everything in queens seeming to have a range of addresses? what?) yumyum eat em up.
Lobster Joint’s 5th Birthday Bash, Greenpoint.
ok all you yelpers who can’t seem to separate quality food with a constant craving for value. lobster is expensive. stop being so shellfhish with your restaurant affinity. ANYWAY. crawl on over to my favorite crustacean crushin spot in the hood for their FIVE YEAR anniversary party featuring FREE BEER from six point, until the kegs run out! plus deals all day on what they do best- lobstery things. 4-7pm, (but we will all be arriving at 5, after the game) 1073 manhattan ave. this saturday, consider the lobster (joint).
SUNDAY
Craft Beer and Hot Dog Showdown, Alphabet City, Manhattan.
i suppose i always thought hot dogs and beer were friends? maybe when they are small, fancy hot dogs and micro-craft brews their egos get in the way? anyway, they are having a showdown. and you can be a part of it, too. if you use your reason to cross the river this weekend– $40 gets you unlimited eating of “hot dog creations” plus two beers or ciders (that isn’t enough beers or ciders, fyi). free entry to the after party from 2-430, where there will be more food and beers and ciders, for purchase. 23rd & Ave C, noon-2pm. hotdiggitydog.
Spring Fling 98 at the Knitting Factory, Manhattan.
party like it’s 1998, and it’s prom, and you actually like your dress this time and you dont’ have braces and you aren’t sweating over losing your virginity later because that ship already sailed, you slut. (i think you’re awesome.) spring fling 98, it’s prom all over again with some sick 90s cover bands, much better dance moves, and all of the punch is spiked this time. 630 to midnight, 361 metropolitan ave. spring me, fling me. just as long as you bring me. .
MONDAY
yep, that’s right. you get a bonus here. just because i like you. and because i like america*.
*for now.
Host your own Memorial Day Cookout at the waterfront- here’s how!
buy america bandanas at Cato’s Army & Navy in Greenpoint (654 manhattan ave) for your whole tribe. you need to look like a team out there, and who knows if these cookouts will be supplying napkins. and beer drinking can be inhibited by sweat burning your eyes. just trust me, get one. and then you can join my tribe.
buy meats at meat hook. all of the meats. and charcoals. and a styrofoam cooler from 711, who make the best styrofoam coolers in the biz. (sorry, deblasio!) fill said cooler with brooklyn summer ales and rose.
elect someone to supply the bluetooth speaker.
go early and procure a covetedgrill and picnic table at brooklyn bridge park.
fire it up, slap ’em down, pop ’em open, turn it up, recite the pledge of allegiance, and celebrate how wonderful it is to live in this beautiful city and to have it finally feel like summer and to be with friends. drinking beers. on a monday.
Greenwood Cemetery Spring Concert, Sunset Park.
come to greenwood cemetery’s annual memorial day concert featuring the ISO symphonic band, deep subterranean harmonies by the ghosts and ghouls quartet of headstone, bring a blanket and a smile and a miniature american flag and stick around for the special memorial day trolley tour after! $20, tickets and info here. 500 25th st, 230 5pm.
Beats and BBQ- the mid spring fling, Williamsburg.
“soulful dance music, bbq, and you” do you really need any more information than that? these guys put on a grassroots event that takes place on holidays in summer, so this is the first. kick off the season with the, at LP ‘n Harmony, 683 grand st.
Americana Monday’s at The Federal Bar, Williamsburg.
this may be an every-monday occurrence, but today it’s an especially good day to celebrate americana monday. head over to federal bar for some fantastic deals on what we americans love most. $10 for a 6 piece bucket o’ chicken, 1/2 price pints, $5 cast iron cornbread, $3 off all american whiskeys. 367 metropolitan ave.
House of YES Pig Roast and Dance Party, Bushwick.
ah yes, of course- brooklyn’s best party venue is throwing what will likely be the best memorial day party you go to. no cover, just meat and music. and chicks dressed as superwoman. and supermen dressed as hipsters. 2 wyckoff ave, 2pm to 2am, let’s boogie down.
Mccarren Pool Party, Williamsburg.
this “one night only” party happens one night, but that night is every month. but that just means you should go once, this month, and it should happen on monday. on the rooftop of the mccarren park hotel, let’s dance and drink beers and pretend like tuesday isn’t happening. there’s only tonight, (and us.) $25, 9pm to 1am, 160 N 12th st.
Leave a Reply