4-7 february 2016. - Brooklyn, I'm Trying

things i’m doing this weekend… that include but are not limited to pre-spending my entire tax return. here’s how i’ll be doing it… and not looking back, once.

THURSDAY

Aphrodisiac Indulgence at Brooklyn Oenology, williamsburg.

if you didn’t bring it here, you can likely find it here. love, that is. by way of shamelessly ingesting aphrodisiacs. sure, it’s about compatibility but it’s also about the science and tried-and-true practice of the ancient god of Dionysus- and trust me, he rarely slept alone. let’s not reinvent the wheel here, folks. just open your mouth and your heart. $40 gets you a light dissertation on the science behind these puppies by Slow Food NYC, plus a flight of 4 tastings of sparkling wine and a dozen oysters. 209 wythe ave, 7pm. tickets, here. down the hatch baby.

Threes Brewing 1 Year Anniversary Party, boerum hill.

there is nothing better than the recent and constant influx of new american breweries popping up. especially in urban areas. brooklyn has plenty of fine ones to boast but head over to threes brewing to celebrate their one year anniversary. arrive early to taste some upcoming releases, stay for the favorites. and pay nothing all night. 333 douglass st, 5-10pm let’s all leave work early, eh? two’s a company, threes a motherfucking brewery. let’s go.

i heart vinyl at the panther room, williamsburg.

scratch all of your well-intentioned thursday plans and head to the panther room to get a little wild. favorite party group and dedicated vinyl spinners (as the name suggests) bring you the best party you’re going to find to start off your weekend with bad intentions. as always, laptop free, and no cover. 74 wythe ave, at the panther room at output. starts at 10pm and goes until your conscious catches up to you. spin.

FRIDAY

Night at the Museum, PS1, long island city.

it’s just like summer warm-up, just inside. and in the winter. but that still means it’s doper than anything else you’ll find happening friday night (unless of course you only consult brooklyn im trying for your weekend plans). exhilarting exhibits, interactive installations, Quebecois-inflected cuisine (yep, that’s exactly what it sounds like), liberating libations, a huge dome set up outside will feature multiple djs all night. plus the entire museum will be open to wandering and imagining you’re on the set of ~~night at the museum~~ from the mixed up files of mrs. basil e frankweiler. $12 in advance, party 8-midnight. it might be sold out already.

Free Nacho Fridays at the diamond, greenpoint.

or for a cheaper and equally inspirational experience, head to free nacho first fridays at the diamond, sponsored by el jefe’s nachoria! 4 varieties every friday- which means that’s just enough hands to eat all of them at once with your significant other. or, yourself at super-human speed. 43 franklin st, 730-11pm. get some.

Lunar New Year at good room- my favorite place to do bad things™

anytime there’s no cover at good room. GO. this time it’s a celebration one year in the m

aking, a chance to abscond all of those mindless resolutions you made two months ago and choose all new ones, with the moon as your guide. all of your favorite lunar characters will be making an appearance on the dance floor (i’m not kidding), plus immersive decor, world-class djs spinning all night, free beer until midnight, and no cover with rsvp. if you can come up with one good excuse not to go to this, i will be immensely impressed. and sad for you. while i drink my free tiger beer and dance with a bunch of humans sharing one massive tiger costume. RSVP right here, right now. 98 meserole st, 10pm-4am. let’s all start fresh.

YEAH! an indie dance party at The Grand Victory, williamsburg.

if you believe in lcd soundsystem and anyone they were inspired by and have inspired entering your ears and consequently moving your feet, go to this indie dance party at grand victory to hear dj’s sponsored by You Don’t Have 2 Settle spinning tunes by bands like future islands, tame impala, hot chip, RAC, phoenix, tanlines, LCD, and basically anything else in your coolest friend’s vinyl collection.

free, 11pm, 245 grand st. get to groovin’.

Wilco (will love you baby) at the Kings Theatre, flatbush.

instead of telling you to go to this show, i’m going to leave you with three of my favorite wilco lines-

i am an american aquarian drinker

the ashtray says you were up all night

and if i ever was myself, i wasn’t that night

this is one of the greatest indie rock bands of our time. go see them, friday or saturday (or both) nights, at brooklyn’s most iconic theater. get your tickets, here. and fall in love with the drummer (i’m still doing it.) 1027 flatbush ave, 8pm.

City of God screening at Videology, williamsburg.

if you’d prefer to chill and watch a movie friday, still get out of your house by seeing what has been deemed the best foreign film of our time. City of God screening at videology. check out the trailer but really you should just go. this film will move you. and you will be moving, not scrolling through your netflix feed. 7-930, free. 308 bedford ave. get enlightened.

SATURDAY

Drunk Ted Talks: Drunk in Love, williamsburg.

inspiring, informative, entertaining, inebriating! it’s drunk TED talks, and this week it’s tackling the issue of that ish that’s bombarding us in shop windows and taxi cab ads and annoying couples blocking our passage of the sidewalk. the L word. check it out at littlefield in williamsburg, 622 degraw st, 6-9pm. guaranteed to be more worth your time than that swiping habit…

Glamdammit- a david bowie odyssey at the grand victory, williamsburg.

no, actually, you haven’t heard this song enough recently. shut up. let’s all go to this event and continue to commemorate sir bowie exactly as he would have intended it. 11pm-4am, $10, the grand victory, 245 grand st. get tickets and cut your ties with ground control now, we don’t need them where we’re going.

Monster Ball at greenpoint gallery, greenpoint.

i don’t even know what to say about this- but there will be body painting, bubbles, fake blood, fortune telling cats? regardless, THIS is your wild saturday night party, brooklyn. it’s right here. look no further. $13 advance, $15 at the door. starts at 8pm. goes until coldplay and beyonce take the stage at halftime. 390 mcguinness blvd, you monster.

SUNDAY

brunch at el born, greenpoint.

take in some culture before we bend toward american hedonism. just because it’s super bowl sunday doesn’t mean that you can’t start out the day with good intentions. broaden your cultural culinary horizons (and have a damn good time doing it) at this catalan outpost on manhattan ave. $50 for two includes bottomless mimosas, sangria, and their interpretation of a bloody maria (made with salmorejo– and you know how i feel about that.) and every single thing on the menu is amazing. i recommend the ous cinc minuts and whatever the burger of the day is, trust me. 651 manhattan ave.

Greenpointer’s Valentine’s Market, greenpoint.

you know exactly what’s going on here- greenpointers are once again saving all of our asses by providing a unique space to scour for unique, heartfelt gifts for your lover, and enjoy doing it. with a long list of all your favorite local artisans, crafts to get your hands dirty, plus music, food, drinks, happiness, and perhaps more than a few restless hearts looking for some warmth this time of year. plus hangover cures! i mean if you’re still reading this i can basically say whatever i want here. just go to the goddamn market, ok? go there. get me something you think i’d like. i’ll willingly give you my address, or meet you atop the empire state building at midnight. word? word. here exists all of the actual relevant information on the event. 1-7pm, 67 west st. you scalawags.

the ceremonial watching of the superbowl, everywhere.

i’m going to defer to the other experts here on places to watch the superbowl on sunday, but go. be american. drink beers, eat wings, shush people during the commercials to no avail. if nothing else, just spend time hanging around friends but secretly be celebrating the end of the nfl season. (shh…)

where to eat this weekend

el born, greenpoint. (brunch details above!)

basically i’m suggesting you eat all of your non-superbowl meals here this weekend. in addition to brunch, they also have amazing tapas, paella nights on wednesdays, TWO FOR ONE gin and tonics on thursdays, live flamenco guitar on sundays… and MAHOU on tap. every fucking day of the week. 651 manhattan ave.

where to drink this weekend

No.7 North

maybe i’m a bit privvy to this place for doing such a good job at keeping me warm during the snowpocolypse, or maybe it’s because it’s one of the raddest spots on manhattan ave. just on the edge of Greepo proper and NoGreePo, it absolutely teems with neighborhood appeal. no frills decor, bartenders and libations served straight-up, and a take-it-or-leave-it attitude that will have you taking it every single time. check out the ish they’re doing with brooklyn brewery for the super bowl sunday, and also find any excuse, to go any time, all the time. 931 manhattan ave.

reason to cross the river this weekend

the end of the picasso sculpture exhibit at the MOMA.

it really sucks if you haven’t been yet, because this exhibit is amazing. and it’s going to be packed this weekend. go anyway- it’s the largest collection of picasso’s sculptures in one place, ever (don’t hold me to that, ok?) and his sculptures are just as charming, fractured, and impressionable as his paintings.