They say you should do something every day that scares you; that the only way to grow is to take ourselves out of our comfort zones and experience something new, something intimidating, something uncomfortable? But how often do we really do it? Sure we can dare ourselves to let our stare linger just 3 seconds too long on the subway with a cute stranger before the discomfort of human connection forces our eyes away. We can try that new hip-hop-zumba-jazzercise fusion class at the gym even when faced with our own presumed humiliation in the mirror among a group of toned and tight temporary contemporaries.
We might deem ourselves bold enough not to cross to the opposite side of the street when being approached by a particularly crazy person talking animatedly to themselves (which more often than not is just someone having an argument on their Bluetooth) But how often do we really scare ourselves?
I’m talking about getting into a tubed chamber atop a 150-ft platform overlooking the mountains of Central New Jersey wearing nothing but our bathing suits when the floor suddenly drops out from beneath us. I’m talking about buying a ticket to what was once (and hey, still could be) the most dangerous theme park in the world. Action Park in New Jersey is credited as being the world’s first water park, and thus let’s argue that they didn’t exactly know what they were doing. The idea for the park began in 1976 as a way to generate money during the off-season at a popular ski resort in Vernon. By the 1980s they had as many as one million visitors per year. During these years the director of the emergency room at a nearby hospital said they treated from five to ten victims of park accidents per day, so many that the park eventually bought the township of Vernon extra ambulances to keep up with the volume. Despite multiple deaths, burns, and daily injuries, Park officials said that the high volume of guests made the injury and death rate statistically insignificant.
Kids who were paid $100 to test run the deadly Cannonball Loop slide, a tubed waterslide of doom that anyone with a basic understanding of physics or who has ever played putt-putt realizes that it has a very small chance of the ball, or human, shooting out successfully from the other side. It was apparently only open for one month, during which a trap door was installed in the top of the loop to help riders escape when they got stuck, which was, just so you know, most of the time. The park’s slogan then was “Action Park: where you’re the center of the action!” and had a reputation for poorly designed rides, under-trained, under-aged staff, intoxicated guests and staff, and a consequently poor safety record.
A short documentary was made about the park that you can watch here.
A reimagined version of what band members Shellac remember of their time growing up at Action Park can be found here.
A rare video of the Cannonball Loop was compiled here.
Rumors of a newly designed and comparatively safer loop slide can be found here.
Tickets to what they have now renamed Mountain Creek waterpark can be purchased here.
Your last chance of the season to visit this legendary park of aquatic horrors is this week.
I went last week, and I won’t tell you if this piece is being ghostwritten or not.
Stop being a weenie. Go to Action Park. Mountain Creek. Whatever.
(Go.)
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