It’s time we all shake off our impenetrable opinions of Baltimore. How do we do this? Start by repeating after me: The Wire was a TV show, and unfortunately, there’s crime everywhere. We cannot dismiss this prominent city along the East Coast because of a few statistics and an all-too-convincing crime scene series. Baltimore is known as Charm City for more reasons than just that the Pandora headquarters is there (if there’s anything to hold a grudge about, let the birthplace of those sterling silver soccer mom bracelets be the only thing.)
I met up with my Richmond counterpart and lifelong partner-in-crime-and-travel Hannah as we met about halfway along 95 and descended upon this harbor town. What we found on our weekend escape that “charm city” was determinedly, well, charming. A town surrounded by and energized by water, from the stunning views of the inner harbor to the fresh seafare served nearly everywhere, we found a culture of people that were equal parts proud and polite with a touch of rowdiness. We found an experience that was affordable and intriguing and made us realize that there was so much more to discover than just a weekend allowed.
However, a weekend we had and thus, we dove right in.
We’ve curated a guide to Charm City of all of our favorite spots so you can build your weekend escape. Get off the wire and into the harbor, get out of town and into Baltimore.
Talk Like A Local
What is the whole “hun” thing?
Marylanders don’t really have an accent. Situated right in the middle of the East Coast, they just miss that subtle, charming Virginia twang but aren’t mired in whatever the hell is happening with people’s voices in Pennsylvania. They don’t have an accent, but they do have a way of speaking…
Before visiting Baltimore, I was asked if I knew about this “hon” culture. “It’s like when people use the word Hon… that type of warmth and friendliness people have,” I was completely confused. Isn’t that just a term of endearment used by waitresses at diners, and when I want to sarcastically prove a point to my lover?
Nope. It’s a whole culture, which is as simple and confusing as it sounds. “Hon”, which is short for honey, embodies the warmth and affection historically bestowed upon residents and visitors of Baltimore, traditionally by the working women of the city. They have a “hun” festival for it that started as a pageant of women with big, teased beehives and gaudy jewelry and anything with a flamingo on it. Check out these photos to give you a better understanding. Still confused? Take a walk around Baltimore and you’ll understand real quick. This warm kindness and lack of hesitance to give it all to you as you walk down the street was pervasive, and contagious. I felt the harsh new yorker in me slowly being replaced by this lovely “bawlmor” charm. (Oh yeah… that’s a whole thing too) (link)
Drink Like A Local
This city is surrounded by water but seems to float upon a steady stream of Natty Boh and Crushes. Natural Bohemian, or Natty Boh, is Baltimore’s official beer, was originally brewed there in 1885 and can be found in every bar, corner store, and in the hands of most locals at most times of the day. An easy-drinking pilsener, it pairs best with crablegs and baseball, which is really fucking convenient. The beer’s mascot, Mister Boh, is this smooth casanova cyclops that is married to the Utz girl. because, well, look at them.
The other official drink of the town is any type of “crush” which is basically a sweet liquor drink undeceptively poured over crushed iced. These are served nearly everywhere, and they come in a million different flavor combinations. We found them a little on the sweet side, so we kept trying them, and trying them, and trying them, thinking perhaps there was a varying level of sweetness yet realized that they are always always sweet and also that they will get you drunk. Overall, it’s a refreshing, intoxicating part of being in Baltimore.
Where To Drink It
Max’s Taphouse
With Natty Boh spearheading the beer industry in this town, like so many East Coast cities, Baltimore has had a microbrewery boom in the past ten years, and Max’s seems to have tapped right into all of it. Come and enjoy over 50 beers, both local, domestic, and international drafts, plus a casual and oh-so-local and thus oh-so-friendly atmosphere that will make you want to stay, and sip, for a while. Plan your visit here. 737 S Broadway.
Woody’s Cantina
An excellent place to pregame. This taqueria and taquillaria is the answer to everything you’ve been searching for. Order a painkiller, level 2… which had me feeling no pain and in search of mischief. Which I suppose is what got us into trouble Saturday night. Find yours here. 821 S Broadway.
The Horse You Rode In On
Why should you end your night at the bar that Edgar Allen Poe was last seen alive at? There’s a certain air of mischief that surrounds this place, something inevitably haunting about this local haunt; a shroud of mystery that finds itself enhanced in the bottom of a glass and ignited by shots of tequila.
Or at least, that’s how I justified it. We’d heard through too many people that the horse you rode in on was the best place for late-night dancing in the city, and I was more than sold simply by the name and the stories surrounding it. History is best absorbed with some libations, and Hannah and I stuck with gin and tonics and tequila shots. Which was reckless at best but kept us dancing all night. And then, maybe, switching shifts in the night to attempt to silently vomit up our sins into the hotel toilet without waking the other. Ride and die here. 1626 Thames St. #getrichbepoe
The Ivy
The dark, seductive bar is a perfect juxtaposition to the bright, open courtyard of this charming boutique hotel, and the cocktails seem to provide the perfect balance between both. Bright and subtle with an edge, we had the bartender mix us up some special concoctions that sipped well from the historic dining room and out into the ivy-covered terraces. Start sipping here. 205 E Biddle St.
Loch Bar
Your ideal spot for that transition from day tripping into nightlife, the sunsets here will help you sip and slip into that mischief-seeking maven you and I both know you are. Scroll down to read more about the Loch bar experience, but what you need to know is that the view and scene are best complimented by oysters and cava and something slug from an animal hoove. (just scroll down)
Eat Like A Local
Crabs, oysters, and any fish that can be bought off of the back of a fishing boat at early dawn, Baltimore is a city that lives off of and celebrates the livelihood provided by its surroundings. From traditional crab shacks to more refined and inventive restaurants, we found the city’s food scene to be nothing less than intriguing and very pleasantly fishy.
LP Steamers
I’ve made LP Steamers a permanent stop every single time I’ve been in Baltimore since I was a kid. This no-frills eatery located in locust point and you can smell it blocks away, crabs and old bay and natty boh blend together into an intoxicating aroma that you can’t walk away from. sit on the roof. get a pitcher of bo for $9. it comes with a melt-proof ice column to keep the beer cold because if you know anything about crab picking, it’s a long, arduous, and rewarding process that keeps your hands rather occupied. but of course, goes way smoother with a crisp pilsener. there will be a wait, so prepare to accordingly. then sit and pick and don’t miss the hush puppies either. Prepare for your wait here. 1100 E Fort Ave.
Ekiben Buns
Pork buns, in a harbor town? yep. we found them and boy am i glad. hannah and i sniff out pork buns in every town, from taipei to madrid to new york to baltimore. At Eikiben, the buns are massive and full of flavor, so just one is plenty to fill you up. It’s also byob so hannah and I ordered plenty of bao to accompany our bottle of cava, and yes, we finished everything and left satisfied and quite bubbly. (which is a euphemism for tipsy.) Get your buns here now. 1622 Eastern Ave.
Breakfast in Bed, at the Kimpton
So I kind of hate brunch. Why? Because it takes up way too much of the day. We skipped this popular city institution for a perfect breakfast in bed, admittedly, to better prepare ourselves for the day ahead and maybe because we couldn’t quite pull ourselves out of the immensely cozy beds at the Kimpton. We ordered room service when we woke up Saturday morning, mostly because there is nothing more indulgent than ordering room service breakfast, and we were on vacation. Kind of. This level indulgence at least juxtaposed day-to-day life in Brooklyn enough to mentally take us away. We simply asked the kitchen to send us up two of their favorite dishes, and we appreciated and enjoyed every bite of the “healthy” eggs benny and chorizo scramble. Plus the carafe full of coffee helped scoot us out the door.
Little Havana
We happened upon Little Havana out of necessity really. We were hungry and tipsy after our afternoon at the tiki barge and needed something quick before our next appointment. Quickly we realized that Little Havana should have been on our list all along. Great outdoor space that stretches out into the bay, fresh seafood, and big mojitos. Pop in, cool off, fill up, reset. Need it here now. 1325 Key Hwy.
Loch Bar
For your transition into nightlife, hit up Loch Bar for sunset, oysters, and a plenty of people watching. Located at the foot of the Four Seasons, this is definitively a fancy little spot in charm city. We both laughed at the sign as we entered “no visible undergarments”. Fortunately, we never wear bras and tonight was no exception. We will comply, Loch Bar. Don’t you worry about anything but a possible #nipslip.
We sat outside and sipped cava and slurped fresh, local oysters as well as a few from up north. A table near us bought us a shot from the bar that was poured from an animal hoove (thank you…?) and then came over and introduced themselves. As was the theme for the weekend, they were incredibly friendly and full of advice of things to do in the city, and helped explain why we had been met with some confusion every time we said we were here by way of Brooklyn. “There’s a Brooklyn here in Baltimore,” they said. “But, it’s not a place you want to go. Ever.” Noted, although it did spark our curiosity. Get your drinks on loch now. 240 International Drive.
What Not To Miss
Inner Harbor
In a city surrounded by water, so many things revolve around this Chesapeake Bay and inner harbor. There’s a picturesque running track that surrounds most of the harbor that would convince even quitters to keep going, public beach volleyball courts for both social spikers and commited volleyers, kayak and jetski rentals that allow you to test your thrill level, by the hour, and chartered fishing tours, dinner cruises, and rent-your-own vessel that allow you to feel like Huck Finn or Jack Sparrow or Cristobal Colon or you know, just choose your own water-logged fantasy. It’s all here for you.
American Visionary Art Museum
If there was ever an example of expressionism, be it not in the traditional sense, this would be it. Art for the sake of expression. A museum dedicated and built for intuitive, self-taught artists, it is a conglomeration of the experiences, inner thoughts, outward feelings and moments of pain and joy and frustration and fear and lust and life. Walking through it, you will experience sculptures dedicated to the pain and waning hope of a bipolar and thus unintentional felon’s experience in prison, a two-story actively-twirling whirligig’s (yes, that’s a technical term), an installation dedicated to farts with a button to press and hear real-ife pre-recorded farts and an old man who collected them all and laughs along with you as if it’s the first time, and a world-class collection of pez dispensers. It’s a museum that sheds away the pretense of museums and happily presents art for the expression it makes and impression it leaves. Plan to spend three hours here, including the sculpture garden and the huge museum outpost just next door, full of larger-than-life sculptures and tiny interactive wooden animations that come alive with the push of a button and will keep you enthralled for hours if you’re not carefull. Plan your visit here. 800 Key Highway
Camden Yards
The season may have just started, but the Orioles have a team that just might take them all the way this year. Even if they didn’t, Camden Yards is one of the most remarkable stadiums in baseball. historic and inviting, the stadium is located right in the center of the city and surrounded by industrial brick buildings that have been converted now into offices and apartments inhabited by some damn lucky locals. What I found remarkable was that regardless of where your seats are, they have plenty of open areas with high-top standing tables and lookout points that put you almost onto the field. Bring a glove or at least a receptive elbow. Snag a fly ball or natty boh or both. Look alive and get in the spirit of the team that carries the city and just might take the series this year. Get tickets here.
Tiki Barge and Pool
When we heard there was a floating pool in the Inner Harbor, especially coming from a distinctly pool-deprived Brooklyn (with the exception of the voluntarily off-limits public pools and involuntarily off-limits hotel rooftop pools), this was at the top of the list. Which we regret to inform you is unfortunately off-limits to non-inner-harbor-boat-owners, and, well, us. We got in. And it was just as we expected a floating little urban tropical paradise to be, with too-sweet crush-worthy cocktails and not-so-smooth-talking yacht captains. Find a way in here. Just don’t tell them we sent you. 500 Harborview Drive.
Where to Stay
One thing we really loved about this city is that it didn’t feel as economically divided as New York does. Getting drinks at sunset along the inner harbor with yacht owners and hipsters alike was as accessible and affordable as getting beers at a pub on the way to the Orioles game, and the same goes for places to stay all over the city. Hidden in the edgy, artistic, and colorful gayborhood is one of the most unique and also high-brow accommodations you can find, and right in the inner harbor is a safe and eclectic hostel that will cost you around $40 a night.
Kimpton Hotel Monaco Baltimore
We crashed right in between at the Hotel Kimpton Monaco in downtown Baltimore. The beaux-arts architecture of the building embodies the glamour of travel from the early 19th century. Formerly the B&O Railroad headquarters, it embodies the glamour of travel of the early 20th century, balanced with plenty of modern charm for the urban explorer. The captivating marble staircase is flooded with sunlight through ornate stained glass windows, greeting guests with warmth and a certain artistic charm upon entry. The hotel staff is professional, accommodating, and offer plenty of personal recommendations to enhance the experience. We imbibed in the nightly wine hour from 5-6 which helped us unwind and prepare for the evening’s activities. Stay here for a unique and historical perspective on the city, for an ideal location and staff that will make you feel right at home, if home if an ornate mansion from the early 1900s. Book your stay here. 2 N Charles St.
The Ivy
for the luxury traveler, this unexpected and historic boutique hotel is the pinnacle of living the high life located right in Baltimore’s most colorful art neighborhood, Mount Vernon. The weekend we visited was pride week, and we were energized by the passionate and loving parades and celebrations on every corner. Upon entering The Ivy, we felt welcomed, and admittedly, fancy as fuck. This hotel aims to create an experience for the traveler that is comfortable and seamless, our tour guide explained. Everything is self-serve in the hotel, meaning you can make yourself a drink whenever you want from any of the unmanned pop-up bars that put the antiquated mini-bar to shame. You can sit and read a book in the study, you can play the piano in the parlor, you can bring your pets. Every room had a different theme and were somehow artistically stunning yet approachable. Every inch spoke to the desired aesthetic. “This chair is from africa, and it’s beautiful but, look…” he sat down. “you can’t sit in it. this is a chair you can’t sit in.” but it’s beautiful, We all agreed.
We went down to the restaurant and had cocktails. We took photos in the courtyard. The chef came out and explained to us the menu, and how he has seen the hotel evolve over the years from a simple row house into what it was today. Every staff member seemed like part of a family, proud of what The Ivy had developed into, and proud to be a part of it.
This experience is guaranteed to be one that you cant find anywhere else. Start yours here. 205 East Biddle St.
HI Baltimore Hostel
This is your best budget option and one for those traveling solo or who want a more social experience. HI Hostel is in a prime location right on the inner harbor and despite its budget-centric approach, is still dripping with local charm. Built in a historic row house, it’s safe, clean, with a friendly, hip, and knowledgeable staff. Expect social areas that are welcoming and unintentionally engaging, nightly events that help you experience the city through a local lens, a clean and convenient communal kitchen, and you know… bunk beds man. And you aren’t above bunk beds. Or, below them I suppose. A hostel this nice is a rarity in so many industrial US cities, and it’s a great option to keep money in your pocket for shellfish and natty boh’s. Beds start at $25. Book now here. 17 W Mulberry St.
How To Get There
The train is always my preferred method of domestic travel when possible, and the 2.5 ride from the city seems all too short. Plus, I love the abandoned industrial underbelly of Baltimore that you see as you’re just before arriving to the station. tickets are usually around $100-150 round trip, aim to buy over 30 days out for the best prices. Research and purchase right here.
Given it’s proximity to New York, and, well, depending on the severity of your hangover, bus travel is entirely tolerable. I intended to take the Megabus for $25 on the way down, but missed it and ended up on the chinatown bus and thus increasing my awareness of my hangover. on the way back, the bolt bus was… well, ok i thought i was going to die given the wild saturday night we had. but, i made it back in under 3 hours and for $50 round trip, i can usually tolerate almost anything. Book your trip on Megabus or Bolt Bus now.
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