Just as this city is always evolving, and our love affair with it bounces from complete dedication to disdain on a nearly daily basis, our relationship statuses tend to flip and flutter nearly as much. So let’s check in here.
Where do you find yourself this Valentine’s Day? Where is your heart? Who is laying there beside you? Who was just in your dreams?
In whatever state of love or longing you find yourself this Valentine’s Day, I’ll help you navigate the city of romance (hahaha jk) in all the right ways. And if you need it, I’ll be here to recommend the best cafe to take her to the next morning. Seriously, DM me. You can’t waste all of that on a bad croissant.
Let’s step on the good foot and do the bad thing. Wear your heart on your sleeve. Intentionally forget to wear undies and tell him at dinner. Put it all out there, because your lover’s next lover is just a swipe away. And we don’t want that to happen.
Here’s how to spread your love, all over town.
For the Newfound Love
This fledgling love, full of beauty and potential deserves a night that starts with cocktails, evolves into a hip dinner experience, and devolves drunkenly into some intimacy-inducing entertainment. Choose places that say, I know my neighborhood. I want to get to know you now. And later.
In Greenpoint, go for cocktails, dinner, and dancing.
Grand Republic Cocktail Bar
Because everyone is going to be at Ramona and you aren’t everyone, this tucked-away cocktail bar has some of the most inventive yet unpretentious drinks in town, made by bartenders that embody the same energy. Plus it has free popcorn in case your tummy is grumbly before dinner. Because that’s still embarrassing
Dinner at 21 Greenpoint
Just avoid the conversation about it being Bill Murray’s son’s place. Because in this town, ya don’t really just get a handout because you’re some star’s kid. Homer Murray has a lot more to boast about, from an inventive, evolving menu and damn impressive wine list, plus a Bib Gourmand award that has no addendum for relative fame. 21 Greenpoint Ave.
In Williamsburg, have wine, dinner and a show, then a little late- n ight competition.
Wine and Small Plates at Four Horsemen
Impress her with your wine knowledge, or at least your knowledge of hip bars owned by rock stars. Four Horsemen has some of the rarest and most natural wine menus in town, and some of the most delicate small plates to accompany them. Don’t skip the
Dinner and Music at St. Mazie
For dinner and some damn good tunes, reserve a table down the street at St. Mazie. With separate performances and menu options downstairs and up, choose your own adventure. And by that I mean look up which one you know she’ll like best. 345 Grand St.
Pool and Whisky at Midway
Nothing juxtaposes a hip wine bar and vintage-
In Bushwick, have a meal guaranteed to spice things up, then dance it all back off .
Mission Chinese Bushwick
Spicy and hip, (which basically sums up the About Me in your
Dance yrselves dirty and clean again at House of Yes
No better time to bring up or act out your sexual proclivities than at this sex-positive
How to Celebrate Valentine’s Day if you’re Dating, seriously.
You’ve both deleted your dating apps. You’ve been upstate together. You’ve met or at least facetimed each others’ families. Getting wasted together half the time ends in fucking, the other half it’s fighting and then really good morning sex. Find your new go-to neighborhood spots. Reliable, slightly unknown, and the type of place that will remember you as you make memories there, together.
A Very Parisien Dinner and Theater Experience in Bushwick
Dinner at Le Garage in Bushwick
Because you can never forget the time you were in Paris together, avoiding tourist traps and
Catch a show at Theater XIV
You don’t see enough theater in this city because well if you live here, it’s part of the pedigree as a “New Yorker”. How are we supposed to weed through all of the off-broadway and off-off-Broadway to find something worthwhile? And that means worth all of our precious New York minutes… You start by finding a theater company that is doing it differently, that is showcasing some of the best
Dinner and Dancing (if that’s what you want to call it) in Greenpoint
Sardinian-Inspired Italian Fare and Live Music at Le Fanfare
There are those places that do always execute their mission perfectly, simply, consistently, and flawlessly, and somehow without much…. well, fanfare. This gem of a restaurant located in NoGreePo is the lovechild of three Sardinian natives who have created a menu and experience that is reflective of their homeland. Exciting and inventive, and a keen concentration on service and the experience created he’s basically Michael Buble in a cardigan he’s basically Michael Buble. Make a reservation by emailing reservations.lefanfare@gmail.com now. 1103 Manhattan Ave.
Go Do Bad Things at Good Room
It’s my favorite place to do bad things, and for good reason. Or maybe at least bad reasons with good intentions. This no-frills nightclub is small enough to not get lost in but big enough for your wildest dreams. Showcasing the best local
Michelin-Star Dinner and an intimate show in South Brooklyn
Tapas at La Vara
Music in the back room at Barbes
There are few places more romantic and unexpectedly intimate like the back room at Barbes. Squeeze in along the back wall and be enamored with the acoustics, the talent, each other. Drink red wine. Check the schedule here. 376 9th St.
So You’re Married, huh?
You did it. You decided to commit to your love forever here in a city where the only consistency is an inability to agree on the best by-the-slice joints in town. That deserves respect, recognition, and a damn good excuse to celebrate. Go for dinner and some theater at a place with reliably good service, consistently excellent food, one that isn’t accompanied with a mostly Kygo playlist or girls who drastically overuse the word literally but actively deny it a syllable.
Italian Fare and Intimate Cinema in Greenpoint
Dinner at Naked Dog
Naked Dog serves consistently amazing Italian food in an unpretentious setting with cocktails that you’ll both understand and want more than one of. This place is a not-so-hidden gem that gets it right, everytime, without all the gentrified riffraff. Don’t skip the burrata, the meatballs, the braised shortrib. 47 Java St.
Film Noir Cinema
An antique theater
New American Fare and a Film in South Slope
Dinner at Camperdown Elm
I can’t say enough about this restaurant. Camperdown Elm is providing an explosion of flavors, textures, spices, and bold new dishes that create an experience that is anything but familiar. It’s intriguing, it’s ambitious, it’s bold and oh-so-good for the soul, like both your first and last lover (but no need to mention them tonight, eh?) Read my full review here, and just make sure you don’t miss the oysters, the rib eye, the sea buckthorn pie. 441 7th Ave.
Catch a film at the new Nitehawk in Prospect Park
Yep, there’s a new
Catching Up with an Old Flame
Avoid the pre-fixe or any indication that this was a good idea. This was probably not a good idea, but you knew that anyway. Find a place to eat that’s loud enough to drown out any utterances of your past wrongdoings and has minimal service to interrupt, but the food and atmosphere says that you’ve still got it. I mean, that you’ve still got that knack you have for picking out great spots that always made her swoon a bit. Grab a bite then head to a dive bar where no hand-checks are required, ever. And also where slaps in the face rarely raise an eyebrow.
Grab a Slice and Shots in Greenpoint
Pizza at Pauli Gee’s Slice Shop
Because nothing replaces an awkward silence like a good-natured New York pizza slice debate, you’ll be guaranteed to have something to playfully fight about and plenty of pizza to stuff in your mouth suddenly if you sense things might be escalating. Also, sports- the universal distraction from reality! 110 Franklin St.
Shot and Beer Specials at Lake Street
The best dive bar in the neighborhood, specializing in shots of
A Quick Bite and Disco Dancing or Dive Bar-ing in Bushwick
Dinner at Cape House
Because it’s the place you used to go in the summertime when your skin was tan and your love was less complicated. Get something quick, something easy, something stress-free that will accompany the lighthearted conversation you hope you’ll have. 2 Knickerbocker Ave.
Dancing at Rose Gold or anything else at Cobra Club
From here, take a mental litmus test and either descend below to Rose Gold for a some low-lit, disco-era close dancing, or across the street to the Cobra Club for shots. Of
Spending Valentine’s Day Alone?
You know what’s great about being alone on Valentine’s Day? There will be no lover’s spout, there will be know unfulfilled expectations, there will be no Russel Stover chocolate sampler that makes you wonder if he’s ever listened to a fucking word you said. Because fuck that chocolate.
There will be you and your heart full of wonder and red lipstick. I recommend red lipstick, a hue that equally sends a “come hither” and “back the fuck off” message to passersby.
Leave your mark, and wine and dine yourself, in DUMBO
Wine and Small Plate(s) at Olympia Wine Bar
Because you don’t know if you want cheese or a few small plates or maybe something that requires more of a commitment. You don’t know and no one is sitting there waiting for
Leave Your (virtual) Mark with a Love Lantern
Have a wish you want to put out into the universe? Maybe a few things you realized you should have said too late? Or even a few grievances about your last lover? Download the new VR experience from DUMBO-based Juniper Jones that lets you hang a love lantern with a message all over iconic Washinton Street. Read the love notes of others, feel your heart get a little lighter, and feel alive knowing that his wonderous city is filled with so many people with so many stories and so many heartbeats. And the best thing about this project? Your selfish wishes aren’t going to weigh down some beautiful piece of architecture.
Celebrate No One to Hold You Back in Bushwick
Sit at the Bar at Roberta’s
Yes, Roberta’s is nearly impossible to get into, but the bar is first-come-first-serve and very low on the romance scale. Which means it’s primed and perfect for your solo ass to slide up and indulge in some of the best pies in the city. Which means in the world, because this is New York. Get two, save your leftovers, because, well, nothing is sexier than a stranger with Roberta’s to give away. 261 Moore St.
Fuck Love at House of Yes
Because going to a sex-positive
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