This is a love letter to the Instagram bikini I never received from a company that doesn’t exist. It’s a word of caution from a former fashion industry veteran who really should have known better. It’s a command that we all take a step back and recognize that we are so deeply under the influencer.
I was one of tens of thousands of people who got duped into ordering a *free* bikini from Folsom & Co, an Instagram company that ran impossible promotions and relied on user-generated content from influencers or what we used to refer to as “models” and also who we used to pay cash to, not just freebies, to build a brand and a company that did not exist.
I ordered this bikini top in April, accepting the 2-4 week shipping window, confident that it would at least arrive before my trip to Florida in 6 weeks. It’s October. I still haven’t received the goddamn bikini. It was advertised as “free” plus $10 shipping which I happily paid, entering my credit card information into a clicked-through web page upon which I ignored all of the warning signs of this being a legit business. There were typos. This website had clearly never been tested for UX design. All of the images were from Instagram. It was the virtual equivalent of every “secret” shop you get led into through a door behind a sketchy store in Chinatown, where they keep the “real” Louis Vitton’s. But I ignored the warning signs. I wanted my tits to look like the tits in the picture. I wanted that bikini.
And after all, it was *free*.
After receiving the news that I knew was coming last night from the official Folsom & Co., I anticlimactically filled out a slapdash Google survey they sent out detailing my experience and hit send.
I’ll never get that money back. I’ll never get that bikini. My tits will never look like the tits in the photo, and I knew that all along. So how did I and SO MANY OTHERS fall for this?
We’ve reached a point now when marketing and exposure precede manufacturing. None of these products exist until “companies” or brands are certain they resonate with audiences, and then by alerting buyers that products will require 2-4 weeks shipping time (read: manufacturing time), business is led by and defined through our double taps, comments, and click-throughs. When that supply chain goes from simply manufacturing to all of a sudden meeting the demand for tens of thousands of bikini tops, including fabric manufacturing, pattern cutting, mass dying, chemical finishings, packaging arrangements, logistical coordination, and so many other things that have to happen before our products get to us, it takes a 2-4 week grace period of manufacturing into a “company”-wide tailspin and logistical nightmare that ends in surrender. That $10 shipping may have covered the cost to manufacture 5000 bikinis from pre-sourced, sunken cost and premeditated agreements, but 10,000? Once suppliers recognize you have a highly desired product, arrangements change, deals are broken, supplies are unavailable, and commitments to customers are long forgotten.
Here’s what we should have learned by now, and how to protect ourselves in the future.
Recognize the dangers of “false” Instagram-only companies.
– All of the photos on their website are also user-generated content and influencer-created media
– The website isn’t nearly as attractive as the Instagram gallery
– All web copy is littered with typos
– Reviews focus on the 2-4 week delay in shipping, such as, “I didn’t even mind waiting a few weeks, I love my bikini top! It’s just as pictured!” Not one word regarding customer service, quality of product, or any genuine sounding voices
Determine if this “business” is trend-driven and product-focused or concentrated on building a brand.
Remember what a pre-Instagram business is. How did we vet it and why did we believe in it? Put yourself back into this mindset without being tempted by photos. Keep in mind that marketing should happen after the product has been created. Market research, testing, presentation, alterations, manufacturing, and strategic marketing, including social media. It does not work in the opposite order. Look for a noticeable strategy, the introduction of a new season, a mind behind the madness of the media.
Be hyper-aware of too-good-to-be-true promotions.
If you have to ask yourself, is this too-good-to-be-true? Yes. Yes, it is.
Too much focus on “shipping time”
They are manufacturing products based on demand. This is likely not a real company.
If you’ve been victimized
To protect yourself in the future, PAY WITH PAYPAL.
You will still be bikini-less, ( #freethenipple ) but you will get your shipping cost refunded.
Let’s be honest
We all really still want the bikini. Because somehow imagery has now surpassed our desire to understand the reality of a company. Instagram has completely changed our perspective on our bodies, on real life, on the power of product placement, and on our own vulnerability. And there are thousands of “brands” out there ready to capitalize on our inability to separate our desire for our lives to mimic Instagram from our better judgment.
So file your complaint, and think more clearly while you’re scrolling.
Folsom & Co, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Also though if you do have any of those bikinis left…
Dammit, I mean. Ugh, fuck you!
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