Hey Brooklyn, I have a little something for you. I do! And I don’t really care how naughty or nice you’ve been this year. I’ve picked out the best and the brightest, the freshest and the funkiest, the fullest and the spruciest things happening all over this wonderland of a borough we call home and wrapped it up into this very special weekend guide – Holiday Edition. Because you deserve to experience all of the magical wonders this place has to offer. I don’t care if you think that’s too sappy. I’m stickin’ to it. Get in here and holiday, baby. Because this present can’t wait until Christmas.
THURSDAY
Christmas Spectacular at House of Yes in Bushwick.
This is one of my favorite New York holiday traditions. The Christmas Spectacular at House of Yes is a festive, immersive holiday adventure that combines traditional songs and stories and then completely flips them upside down and strips them away and interprets them with aerialists, dancing gifts, sexy reindeer, Mariah Carey, milk and cookies, and so many surprises under the tree you’ll question whether or not you’ve actually been good this year. (Trust me, you haven’t.) Tickets, $35 are available here. Shows are Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, 7-10pm. 2 Wyckoff Ave at House of Yes, the place for naughty boys and girls.
Kings County Brewers Collective Darkest Day of the Year at their Tap Room in Bushwick.
Thursday is the darkest day of the year, and that means we’re all tempted to join the dark side, to succumb to the deep dark cold of winter, to relinquish all of our best intentions for evil, to pretend to like Star Wars. Our friends at KCBC want to help envelope you into darkness with their Darkest Day of the Year celebration, featuring 10 dark beers on tap and Indian food from Index Bk. The lights will be low, the music will be low, and there will be no hand checks. Info here, it all happens 5-11pm at KCBC, 381 Troutman St.
Thursday Night Pop-Up with Hot Dog Boyfriend at the Diamond in Greenpoint.
Did you know that the FDA recommends that humans only consume 2 hot dogs a year??? Did you also know that FDA stands for Fun Deprivation Association and that they have never heard of 4th of July, cookouts, baseball games, or New York City and thus have no problem avoiding and preaching no more than 2 hotdogs a year? Yeah fuck those guys. Bunch of weenies. Head to the Diamond this Thursday for their weekly International Pop-Up dinner as they host Hot Dog Boyfriend and bring you hot dogs, bratwurst, charcuterie, and of course all the best beers you’ve never heard. Meet me in the gondola where we can share weiners and secrets. Dinner starts at 6pm and goes until they run out. 43 Franklin St. Hot Dog Boyfriend, not the wurst!™
FRIDAY
Love Actually Drinking Game at Videology in Williamsburg.
Because watching Christmas movies at home and getting drunk is only kind of fun, head to Videology Friday night and watch Love Actually with all of your best friends and drink along with games and cues and sing all of the songs and safe knowing that your tears will be hidden in the dark light, or you can just blame the booze. It’s only $12 and you can’t wear your jammies, but also you basically can wear your jammies. We live in Brooklyn. We can wear whatever the fuck we want. Info and tickets here, it starts just before midnight. 308 Bedford Ave.
Winter Solstice Goddess Circle at Root Mamma in Greenpoint.
It’s the winter solstice. Meaning this cold finally has a reason to capture and enrapture our souls until at least April. Give it a warm welcome and hopefully initiate a mild and symbiotic relationship instead of a hostile takeover by taking part of the Winter Goddess Circle at Root Mamma. This solstice gathering will include a fire ritual to release the burdens and setbacks of 2017, while acknowledging its great teachings and wisdom that you would like to continue to nurture in the year ahead. Bringing gifts for the group or the altar are encouraged, as is a $25 donation, if you feel so led. Sign up in advance here, space is limited. 236 Richardson St.
Actually Funny Comedy Show at Bar Uni in Greenpoint.
We could all lose a little comedy relief this holiday season and to sip sparkling negronis in a cozy little back room at a charming little spot this weekend. Head to the Actually Funny Comedy Show at Bar Uni in Greenpoint, where the laughs feel best when chased by an uni shooter and all of the fancy little delicacies that Chef Iman dreams up. It’s a free stand-up show and it starts at 9pm, all info here. 674 Manhattan Ave at Bar Uni, where the only thing missing is that corn special I’ve been talking about. You know. The Bar Uni Corn. (… don’t worry, I will not be performing Friday night.)
SATURDAY
All I Want for Christmas is Acid at Good Room in Greenpoint.
I at least want to pretend that I was good this year, that even my worst decisions started with good intentions. Throw all of that shit out the window this Saturday because to be honest, it’s way too late. Let’s just admit that we’re a bunch of fucking hethans. It’s the All I Want for Christmas is Acid dance party at Good Room. Come and dance all night to Detroit and Chicago non-stop acid and mid-western house. Tickets, $15 available here 10-4am, 98 Meserole Ave at Good Room, where no good can come of it.™
Young Adult Friction Dance Party at Brooklyn Bazaar, Greenpoint.
Maybe you’ve been over-indulging in Holiday tunes this year. Or you’ve been hitting up all of the heavy-hitting underground parties to keep you going all night and into the next afternoon. Whatever your reason, you’ll welcome a change. Let’s dance up on each other, create a little friction, dance ourselves clean, or dirty. It’s the Adult Friciton dance party at Brooklyn Bazaar, a night of indie dance music that will feel (almost!) like you’re at Brooklyn Steel for LCD’s last show of this 10-night holiday residency. Entry is oh so free. all info here. 10pm to 4am, 150 greenpoint ave.
Spread Joy: The Not Holiday Show at Gold Sounds in Bushwick.
The holidays are kind of a drag. Head to The Not Holiday Show at Gold Sounds, a drag and burlesque performances that will have you feeling naughty and nice and anything but traditional. Hosted by Allegra Spread and featuring 10 of the best drag performers in town. Tickets are pay-what-you-wish, $7-20, depending on just how much cheer you have partaken in this year. All info here, 9:30-12:30. 44 Wilson Ave at Gold Sounds, where even silence is golden.
SUNDAY
We Got You a Little Something at Threes Brewing in Gowanus.
It’s like a boozy Secret Santa where you don’t have to get anything, but tipsy. Threes Brewing is giving away a raffle ticket with every drink and raffling off some dope gifts every hour. Plus, free sniffs of the wonderous Gowanus Canal, all day baby. Come and get fucking merry. Noon-midnight, all info here, 333 Douglass St. at Threes Brewing, I’ll try anything thrice.™
Bodega Advent Calendar Walk in Bushwick and Ridgewood.
25 bodegas. Advent calendars are one of my favorite Christmas traditions, but I always want to open all of the little doors on the very first day and eat all of the candy and also I wish that the candy wasn’t so shitty, and that maybe the whole thing was a little cooler. WELL. The Bodega Advent Calendar Walk takes you through all 25 days and into 25 different bodegas, each with a different commissioned art work in each windownfor you to admire AND you can just pick out the candy you actually want. Art is free, candy must be paid for. All info here. Meet at the Bushwick Abbey at 4:30pm.176 St. Nicholas Ave (well now isn’t that quaint…)
Homes for the Holidays Cat Adoption in Williamsburg.
Because you don’t want to give up your own cat this year, whether intentional or accidental come to this cat adoption event. Get a cat, give a cat. Because cats are the best. 1-5pm, all info here, 447 Graham Ave.
Live Music Planetarium at Nowadays in Ridgewood.
Immerse yourself in this planetarium of sound at Nowadays. You’re invited to spread out, to lay down, to sink in between their custom hi-fi speakers as Josh Dunn DJing and Jason Lindner playing live music not meant for dancing. Transcend into another dimension. Bring a sleeping bag. Save conversations for your time outside the speakers. Reserve a spot online here now. It’s all happening from 6-11pm. More info here, 56-06 Cooper Ave. at Nowadays, where they’re looking forward to getting lost in music with you.
Happy Holidays, Brooklyn.
<3L
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