The New Year’s Weekend Guide | 28-1 January 2019

The new year is a time for reinventing, for cleansing, for having good intentions and making hopeful promises. And the days leading up to it? Those are my favorite days. This is the time to be bad and feel good about it. These are your last chances to make a bad impression, to cause mischief, to do all of those things that you promised yourself you will stop doing in 2019. I’ll show you how.

FRIDAY

The Nutcracker Rouge at Theatre XIV in Bushwick

Not just for the holidays. This sexy, kinky, and very cheeky show is one of the best performances I’ve ever seen in this city. Company XIV takes the familiar tale and brings Clara through an imaginative, sexual adventure through stunning dance, unbelievable vocals, and a lot of butts. Like, a lot. It’s one of the hottest tickets in town right now and the show ends January 13th. Get your ticket now here, then hold onto it and grab a glass of free sparkling at Le Garage (and some amazing French food). 383 Troutman St

Meet the Confetti King at City Reliquary in Williamsburg

Did you know that all of the confetti in Times Square on New Year’s is hand thrown? Of course you didn’t. All of the magic comes from one guy, the Confetti King. He’ll be telling you all the glittery details this Friday night at the City Reliquary, where you always learn something you didn’t know you didn’t know. He’ll be there from 7 to 8:30.   Swing by Sunday as they host the little hamster that spins the wheel inside the Ball as it drops on NYE. I’m serious. You don’t know. Info here. 370 Metropolitan Ave.

Nevermind 90’s night at St Vitus in Greenpoint

Remember when music was grungey and great and rock stars were just rock stars not social media influencers and we didn’t know what they ate for lunch every day and songs weren’t catchy because they were analytically created to stick in your brain? Ah, nevermind. Just head to St. Vitus Friday night and slip into a daydream of how it used to be. Their 90s night will bring you back and build you up and never let you come down. Info here. Tickets available at the door. $10. 11pm-4am, 1120 Manhattan Ave.

SATURDAY

L&L&L Record Club All Night Long at Black Flamingo in Williamsburg

A bunch of female DJs spinning vinyl all night at a cozy-yet-edgy space in that area of Williamsburg that the Murray Hill crowd still hasn’t ‘discovered’? Sounds like your Saturday plans. Join DJs L & L & L at Black Flamingo this Saturday night as they spin their favorites that will promise to keep you movin’ and groovin’ and lovin’ and findin’ that last lover of 2018. The event is free, just like you and me. Info here, 10pm-4am, 168 Borinquen Place.

House of Yes becomes House of Love in Bushwick

So much seems to weigh on the New Year’s kiss, but what about all of those moments of love and lust and passion that happen before that final/first moment? Come explore your past lives and future loves as our clock continues to tick; love exists in the space of infinity, it never dies, it simple changes shape. At House of Yes’s House of Love, come dressed to release your inner fetishes and hold nothing back. Bondage, collars, harnesses, lace, luxury, latex. Costumes are mandatory, so is consent. Tickets are available here, the party goes from 10pm-4am (but love never dies). 2 Wyckoff Ave.

SUNDAY

Bushwick A/V Afterhours: Herodot at Polygon BK in Bushwick

I don’t even know what to say about this. For those of you with a hunger for mischief or an ability to party for over 24 hours or a supply of substances that will help you do both or if you just want to sleep through New Year’s entirely, this event i for you. Bushwick A/V brings us Herodot and the party that you should probably bring sunglasses to. Not to look like an asshole, but just trust me. You’ll want them. Tickets are $15 and will likely be a lot more at the door so get them now hhere. And um, let me know if you want to meet for coffee or something after? Before? What day is it? Who? It’s happening at Polygon BK, 299 Vandervort Ave.

Dance ‘Til You Die at Pine Box Rock Shop in Bushwick

This sounds like some sort of year end cult rave but rest assured the hilarious and lovely people behind Chumble comedy wouldn’t do that to you. Or me. They’re throwing a huge party to say goodbye to one of their troop members, so come and laugh til you cry, dance til you die, do whatever you want to do to celebrate and get it all out before the year ends. The event is free so get there. Info here, it’s happening at Pine Box Rock Shop (which I know, I know, seems ominous, but I promise you’re not going to die). 12 Grattan St.

NEW YEAR’S EVE in Brooklyn

Illuminati Masked Ball at the Williamsburgh Savings Bank in Williamsburg(h)

This is the event that maintains NYC’s place on the map as a top destination for New Year’s Eve. An immersive theater experience that will have you choose an animal mask in the beginning that will define your “tribe” (example from their website: Those of you who enjoy bathing and dancing should choose cow. If you like boating, music and wine choose chicken) will take you through an evening of power struggles, morality tests and anthropomorphic escapades. Plus an open bar, gourmet sandwiches for purchase, and a champagne toast at midnight. Choose outer circle ($200) or inner circle ($400) which is all explained and available for purchase here. 8:30-1am at the Weylin (it’s also the bank) at 175 Broadway.

The Cityfox Odyssey at Avant Gardner in Bushwick

This party is for you, the wild ones, the dancers, the midnight ravers, the ones who never take no for an answer and know that time is relative. Transcend into the new year. This is the massive Brooklyn rave you want on New Year’s. It’s a 26-hour festival featuring the best DJs you’ll find in the city, or nearly anywhere, this NYE. They’ll be filling the entire city block of this venue with sights and sounds to create the deep, alluring, and invigorating NYE experience that you can expect from CityFox. Tickets, $50(ish) are available here. 140 Stewart Ave.

The Final Night Ever at Output in Williamsburg

Output was a pioneer in the nightlife scene in Williamsburg, the ones who boldly put Brooklyn on the map and into the international DJ scene. They have been the cause of many carnivorous nights and unregretful hangovers and memories. Fucking memories. They’re leaving because the neighborhood is lost and they are not afraid to admit they don’t like what it’s become. Go down with the ship in the highest way possible this NYE. All the best DJs and dancing and sound you’ll have for the rest of the year, and maybe forever. Tickets, $80 available here. Party starts at 10pm and doesn’t stop until we’re all evicted. 74 Wythe Ave.

Secret Mansion Masquerade Somewhere in Brooklyn

Who are you? What is this? Where is it? It’s a secret mansion masquerade and that’s about all I can tell you. Hide from your sins and renew your spirits within the safety of total anonymity. Masks provided, booze for purchase, rulez for breaking, mischief encouraged. Info here, location TBA. etc. (It’s in Brooklyn)

NYE at Greenpoint Beer and Ale

Let’s all admit that the funky space currently inhabited by Greenpoint Beer and Ale has always still felt more like Dirck the Norseman and his rockabilly following than the hoppy-fresh-effervescent beers this local brewery is pumping out. And listen, there is room for everything (except WeWork. Please don’t become a WeWork), but they’ve outgrown their space and will be moving to NoGreePo come January. Say your last goodbye’s to Dirk and the crew and go down with the ship by partying it up this NYE. Tickets are TEN DOLLARS and beers are $5 all night, $6 well cocktails. Yeah. Get yours here NOW and see you in NoGreePo in 2019! Party goes from 8pm-the next day, just make sure you get out before they start handing you boxes. 7 North 15th St.

NYE Karaoke at the Diamond in Greenpoint

The Diamond Karaoke Because bars like this are disappearing way too quickly, come celebrate the magic and brilliance that is the Diamond in the best way possible. Karaoke led by Will Dick Clarke all night, plus all the best beers and select liquors and the best people and great memories waiting to happen, especially in that charming little gondola in the backyard. If you know what I mean. 8pm-after midnight. Info here. 43 Franklin St.

New Year’s Eve Time Machine at Union Hall in Park Slope

Your best option for a straightforward, dance-all-night NYE party in Brooklyn is at Union Hall. No unapproachable ticket price, no masks required, no massive lines for “open bars” that are impossible to navigate, no empty expectations, no broken hearts. DJ Bengey will be spinning tunes all night. The party goes from 8pm-close, just $5. Tickets and info here. 702 Union St.

NEW YEAR’S DAY IN BROOKLYN

New Year’s Day Brunch at Le Fanfare in Greenpoint

Come to everyone’s favorite after-party, let’s see how hungover Liz is on New Year’s Day! That’s right folks, step right up and give her a challenge, like “I’ll have the two eggs any style, over easy. With Sausage.” or “Ummmm, can we maybe sit over there?” or “I’m feeling dangerous today, can you make me a feisty cocktail?” That’s right. Watch as she stares back at you blankly, pretends to remember and care what you just said, and then hides behind the espresso machine until dinner service. You can read more about how much I like brunch here. Or just come in and I’ll show you.

Coney Island Circus Sideshow on New Year’s Day

Or, basically just walking around Brooklyn on New Year’s Day. See zombies and freaks of all forms, working on putting one foot in front of the other in order to put their best foot forward for 2019. This is a circus sideshow, sure, but so will all of Brooklyn be. Let’s all find each other and try to form sentences together. Info here to head to Coney Island, or just walk out your door and let’s get through it together.