March is coming in like a lion, and you’re going to go out like one. This weekend. Let me set you wild and free upon these city streets. Let yourself loose and loosen up. Tear it down. Paint it red. Heat it up. Shut it down. Brooklyn, I’m trying to release you. To let you run wild. To set you free. Start here, with your weekend guide. It’s ready for you (are you?)
THURSDAY
Madame Morbid’s Full Moon Trolley Tour in Williamsburg
Face it, we rarely do much to recognize and respect the full moon other than howling at it, drunkenly and ravenously from the wild streets and sidewalks of this concrete jungle. Get on board with the old waxed gibbous (not a technically correct term) with Madame Morbid’s Full Moon trolley tour. Go back in time in a turn-of-the-century trolley that’s designed to mimic a Victorian funeral parlor and ride through Brooklyn’s most haunted neighborhoods. Reserve your spot here. The trolley appears at Driggs and N9th st. Rides are 1hr and 45 min, or eternity. #RideOrDie #RideAndDie #DontKnockItTilYouTrolleyIt
Tadale’s Fire Kitchen Vegan Pop-Up at the Diamond in Greenpoint
Overheard yesterday on Manhattan Ave from a guy talking too loud on his iPhone, “Oh yeah! Brian said you’re doing Vegan now!” Let’s all “do vegan” this Thursday night at the Diamond. Try it on for size, no strings attached with Tadale’s Fire Kitchen’s pop-up dinner. Bright flavors and amazing Indian-inspired dishes will have you wanting to “do vegan” more often. Regardless, it all tastes better washed down with one of Diamond Dave’s carefully selected microbrews AND a shot of whiskey. Because they’re doing liquor now. So get schwastey and then meat me in the gondola. No, that was not a typo. Yes, it was inappropriate. Deal with it, this is my space. Info here, 6:30-10:30pm. 43 Franklin St.
FRIDAY
Transmitter Brewery takes of the Gatehouses before it takes over the Brooklyn Navy Yard
Welcome our beloved Transmitter Brewery through the gates of the Brooklyn Navy Yard (their new home!) with their takeover of The Gatehouses (which I know you’ve heard of) this Friday. There will be beer, cocktails, beercocktails, a super secret distilled collaboration, and as if that wasn’t enough, fancy meats and cheeses from Crown Finish Caves and La Salumina. And it’s all happening in the infamous Brooklyn Tourettes (DAMMIT! SONOFABITCH!) turrets that once protected our fair land. (kind of). This amazing event is FREE. 7-10pm. Seriously, get there. Info here. 299 Sands St.
Hot Hand Band at Threes Brewing in Greenpoint
I’m always getting asked about the best places to see live music in Brooklyn. Those places where you can reliably slip in and grab a drink and witness what so many of the artists that we live among have been working on. Threes Brewing’s outpost on Franklin St is growing to be my go-to spot in Greenpoint for exactly this. Slip in this Friday night, grab a drink, and listen to the Hot Hand Band, a brass band with live tap dancers. Yep, beers on tap, dancers on tap. It’s all happening, plus the show is free (+tips!) and goes from 9-11:30pm. Info here. 113 Franklin St. Go, tell them Liz sent you. See if that gets you anywhere. Report back.
Discotechnique: The White Party at House of Yes in Bushwick
Everyone’ favorite monthly disco party cleans up its act this Friday at House of Yes with The White Party. Elegance. Opulence. Clean lines. Bright looks. Come dressed in your best and brightest and prepare to get a little dirty then dance yourself clean. Tickets, $30, available here. The party goes from 10pm-4am. 2 Wyckoff Ave. Get there, because as they say, In the midst of Winter I found there was, within me, an invincible Donna Summer.
SATURDAY
Scoops and Staves at the Brooklyn Brewery in Williamsburg
The end of beer week is sad, but the good news is all of those beers you discovered and rediscovered are all still here, waiting for you. So come celebrate and commiserate and inebriate for the end of a great week at the Brooklyn Brewery with their Scoops and Staves party. Gain exclusive access to their top-secret barrel aging room. Sip some funky suds and learn about all the ways this pioneering urban brewery is still pushing the envelope. Then have some Black Ops icecream sammies from Melt Bakery. $20 tickets and info here, noon-2pm. 79 N 11th St. It might be the end of Beer Week, but the glass is always half-full and gaining in Brooklyn™
Upside of Down Inversion Workshop at Hosh Yoga in Greenpoint
The end-of-winter doldrums has been getting me down. Grey skies and threatening winds and a thermometer that teases us with Spring-like days just to plunge back down into freezing, again. There’s got to be an upside, a way to get us through until the city blooms again. Come to Hosh Yoga Saturday to warm-up and learn the upside of down with this clever little inversion workshop, led by Katie Cavanagh. Get twisted. Refresh that wintertime heart and soul and do something good for your body this weekend. The workshop is $30 ($25 for members!) and the methods you learn last a lifetime. Reserve a spot here. 3:30-5pm, 657 Meeker Ave.
Rubulad Presents Beasts of the Northern Wild in Bushwick
Are there really that many parties to release your inner beast and be a complete savage in our increasingly yuppied-out gentrifying Brooklyn? Yeah. Yeah there fucking are, and that’s why you’re here looking to me to tell you what to do on the weekends. Brooklyn, I’m trying to release you. To let you run wild. To set you free. Do it this Saturday at a *mystery location* in Bushwick with Rubulad’s Beasts of the Northern Wild party, live music, djs, dancing, food, beer, wine, liquor, living. Tickets only $10 available right here. 8:30pm-late. RSVP for address. See you there.
Soul Clap and friends at Elsewhere in Bushwick
If you’re having unprotected sex (and you know you are) and you live in New York, you have a 27% chance of getting The Clap. And that sucks. You know what doesn’t suck? The 100% chance you have of getting your groove on this weekend with Soul Clap, Bradley Zero, and Pontchartrain plus Lauren Flax, Cry Baby, and FBI Warning in Zone 1. Come get up to get down at Elsewhere. Tickets, $15 available here. 11pm-5am, 599 Johnson Ave. Soul Clap- it’s the clap that you want!™
SUNDAY
Billion Oyster Social at Bar Uni in Greenpoint
The Oscars are an annual event because fame and blockbusters are fleeting. (Nothing wrong with that, but just stay with me here). Spend your time and money contributing to something sustainable with the Billion Oyster Project this Sunday at Bar Uni. Slurp down some amazing bivalves prepared by the amazing Chef Iman with drink pairings from the charming Ben Pasquale and learn what we can do to protect and help grow the oyster communities. Oh, also, oysters are known aphrodisiacs. So go from 5:30-9pm then, you know… go home and get it on. Tickets, $30, get you 1/2 dozen of uniquely prepared oysters with drink pairings. Get yours here. 674 Manhattan Ave.
March Literary Dinner with Jenny Zhang at Magick City in Greenpoint
Don’t give a shit about Hollywood? Or, you do and you just aren’t going to be glued to the TV on Sunday night? Awesome. Head to this fucking amazing event instead at Magick City. It’s a literary dinner featuring Jenny Zhang, where she’ll talk about her new book of short stories Sour Heart while you are feasting on Szechuan cuisine from PoPo’s at a magick, communal table with other amazing Brooklynites sharing lives and bites and sips and laughs. This will be the best performance of the night, so don’t miss it. Also leave your “Red Carpet Ready!!!” looks at home. Ugh. Tickets $100 are going fast so get yours here right now. 6-8pm, 37 Box St.
NOW Here are all the Best Places in Brooklyn to Watch the Oscars
TBD Closing + Oscars Party in Greenpoint
Another fantastic neighborhood spot closing due to the rise of highrises, rent, and douchebags in our fair town. Come commiserate, inebriate, and go down with the ship this Sunday at TBD. Their closing party will also be an Oscars viewing party so go. Cheap drinks. Free tears. Info here, 224 Franklin St.
Humboldt and Jackson Oscar Viewing Party in Williamsburg
In my Humboldt opinion, this is one of the best places to watch the Oscars this Sunday. The fancy back room at Humboldt and Jackson welcomes you in your red carpet attire. Photo booth, costume contest with amazing prizes and all the best bites and drinks in town. Party is free, reserve your spot here now. 6pm-midnight. 434 Humboldt St.
Oscars Party at (New!) Annicka in Greenpoint
What happens with the magic folks behind North Brooklyn Farms and Greenpoint Beer and Ale create a kitchen and restaurant pairing fantastic beers and farm-fresh food and a side of female empowerment? You get Annicka, the amazing new spot on Manhattan Ave, and also people who know how to throw a fucking party. Check out the space, the tastes, and have a free glass of bubbly, oscar-themed cocktails, and prizes. Info here. 544 Manhattan Ave.
Alt.Oscar Awards Party at House of Yes in Bushwick
Why celebrate celebrity culture when we can award all of the amazing artists and performers and creators around us? Come dressed in your finest, your weirdest, your funkiest and head to the Alt.Oscars Party at House of Yes. Prizes will be awarded for the Best Unintentional Comedy, Least Dressed, Best Briber, among so many others with amazing prizes awarded. It’s a variety awards show of sorts that will be way more entertaining than the actual Oscars, which by the way, will be shown on a huge screen with sound in a special viewing room. Tickets $10 available here. 6pm-midnight, 2 Wyckoff Ave.
Oscar Viewing Party at Northern Territory in Greenpoint
This tried-and-true Oscars viewing party tradition once again partners with everyone’s favorite insta-fanreel Taste of Streep and brings us a truly sparkling evening complete with Streep trivia, a red carpet, festive prizes and all the sparkling cocktails your little movie-loving heart desires. Party starts at 6:30 but come early. Info here. 12 Franklin St.
Academy Awards Party at Littlefield in Gowanus
Littlefield transforms its charming theater space into the Dolby Theater and transports you straight to LA, minus all of the mindless assholes. You’ll still be with all your best Brooklyn friends and future lovers sharing champagne and wearing your finest. They’ll have a red carpet entrance and photo booth, voting ballots (most correct wins a prize), themed-drink specials, and all the popcorn your little movie-loving heart desires. Info here, 635 Sackett St.
Drunk Yoga Sucks. At Drexler’s in Alphabet City, which is fitting because Manhattan Sucks (although I kind of like Alphabet City… sometimes. Not this Sunday though.)
And I leave you folks, with this, an event that just may mean the demise of our society. A 30-minute open wine bar followed by 45 minutes of vinyasa yoga. Because yoga, of course, an ancient practice connecting mind, body, and spirit, aimed at renewing your energy, should be done when filled with as much cheap chardonnay and shitty shiraz as possible. And, you know, you should pay $35 to do it. Tickets and info are not available here, because no one should go to this event. Drink wine. Do yoga. Seprately. We do not need to fusion everything. We need to appreciate more things.
I appreciate you, Brooklyn. So so much.
See you out there.
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