(are you picturing me on a soapbox in front of the statue of liberty holding a bottle of champagne with a slight tear in my eye?)
(oh… well, are you doing that now?)
ok you unimaginitive little beasts- lighten up and read on.
and let’s fucking get to work.
THURSDAY
Thursday Supper at the Farm on Kent, Williamsburg.
sure, maybe it feels to early to celebrate the apple harvest, but it seems that our dear corporate companions did not hesitatated to stuff mini crunch bars and plastic jackolanterns and pumpkin spice everything down our throats just after easter. SO, let’s gently start our fall harvest celebrations with something beautiful and wholesome and pure. thursday night brings us a cider dinner at the beautiful north brooklyn farms. dine outside with pre-fall bounty from the garden and cider pairings from aaron burr cidery. **ATTN** these dinners are sold out for the next few months, so go to this one tonight, 7-1030pm. tickets, here – $100 gets you an unbelievable meal, cider pairings, and one of the few unobstructed views we still have of the east river. 320 kent ave. QUICK GO GO GO. cider?!?! i ‘ardly knew ‘er!
New York Salsa Congress, all over the city, all weekend.
with all of the club-bumping we lose ourselves into each weekend, celebrate instead this stunning form of artistic expression. this weekend is the annual new york salsa congress, featuring free lessons, showcasing some of the greatest salsa dancers from all over the world, hours of open dancing with live bands and each night offering an after party that starts at 3am. nothing is more captivating or seductive than salsa dancing, and i guarantee it will heat up in a much better way than the panther room at output. events schedule, tickets, and a bunch of other stuff to get you pumped found here.
Archestratus Blue Plate Special, Greenpoint.
this week’s sicilian family dinner at archestratus was, at press time (and maybe until you arrive!) TBD- which means that you are going to have to go on the faith that everything is magic inside of archestratus and family-style dinners in nogreepo are always a good idea and paige knows what she’s doing. (that’s a pretty good bet) 7-10pm – full plates and homemade bread, alcoholic bevvies for sale. 160 huron st.
FRIDAY
Black Rock Brooklyn at House of Yes, Bushwick.
are you sick of all of the mystical and dustily epic burning man images from all of your friends this past week? i’ll be honest, i’m not. but, i can’t keep from imagining myself in some rainbow-bright-meets-the-rocketeer-meets-the-rockettes-esque costume zooming around on my bicycle-turned-batmobile-turned-aladins-magic-carpet. lets turn all of those pure imagination-fueled images into reality and burn it down together at the house of yes friday night. it’s a burn event for all of us who could’t make it. there will be costumes and playa bikes and more black lights and wild decor than ever and also all of those things you think you could expect at burning man itself. but then we all go home at the end of the night, or to an after hours party… up to you. free before 11pm, or tickets $15, here. 2 wykoff ave. at the house of yes- where they don’t take no for an answer.
Grand Opening, Greenpoint Fish + Lobster, Long Island City.
for all of the wonder and fishy enjoyment and oyster tacos and raw bar delights that greenpoint fish co has been bringing to us for the past 3 years, it’s time we shared a bit of love with our neighbors to the north. greenpoint fish + lobster opens a long island city outpost that promises to offer more seating, some grab and go options for you laborers, plus all the best specials and taco tuesday with a gansett deals you know and love. grand opening is friday. go celebrate, then go back. so i can have my motherfucking spot back at the greenpoint location. (hey! just kidding! come sit with me!) 5-43 48th Ave at Vernon Blvd.
The Last Fireworks of the Season at Coney Island.
the worst things about summer ending? the sidewalk simply doesn’t replace the boardwalk. getting a hot dog from a hot dog stand feels desperate, not noble, and not as easy to blame sudden loud noises on fireworks with a hopeful smile. (man that got depressing fast) well let’s get our last fill this friday at coney island. sun, sand, fireworks, hot dogs, bearded ladies and bearded men! roller coasters! baseball! skeeball! skeezy balls! come onnnn! last fireworks show of the season starts at 930pm, at W 10th st at coney island. all other events and cool things, here.
Mets vs Nationals at Citifield, Flushing, Queens.
come meet the mets, and me! at the mets game. i’ll be signing autographs and giving you exclusive weekend events access, plus plenty of BiT schwag up in row 528! come on down! and then up! game starts at 705pm. helmet nachos start at 706pm. at citifiled, tickets, here. take me out to the ballll game! or wherever… just as long as you take me out.
Rule of III Pop-Up at Duke’s Annex, Greenpoint.
that little room of requirement attached to duke’s liquour box (which is room of requirement in and of itself) opens its magical doors again friday night and keeps them open, all september long, for “rule of III” a pop-up assemply of handmade fasions, beauty, and wellness experiences by local brooklyn creative collective. come by and be inspired, be transformed… then get a little bit of whiskey and get friskey. opening is friday, 12-9pm. 170 franklin st.
First Friday’s with El Jefe’s Nachoria at The Diamond, Brooklyn.
nachos cheese torched before your eyes, just after they ask for it. because they are naughty nachos that give themselves away for free. go, partake. i won’t tell anyone. nachoing begins at 730pm. beers run all day, all night. 43 franklin st. get tipsy and chipsy. then maybe a little lipsy. (just not in poughkeepsie.)
SATURDAY
Makossa Cookout and End of Summer Party, Output Rooftop, Williamsburg.
yeah i hate to say it, but summer’s ending. get a little closer to the sun to say your goodbye’s this saturday on output’s rooftop for the 6th annual makossa cookout, featuring khalil, max glazer, and an afternoon full of other friends. this is such a better alternative to electric zoo. tickets only $10 available here. 74 wythe ave, 2-10pm
Mike Birbiglia’s Thank God for Jokes, and Don’t Think Twice- in Brooklyn.
didn’t get to see the moth story slam a the bell house but you still want a piece of that charming sarcastic wit from mike birbiglia? well good news. he’s doing standup tonight and his new film, don’t think twice, co-written with ira glass and featuring a hell of a lot of other voices (with faces this time!) you’ll recognize, plays at the nitehawk everyday this month, standup, tickets, here. tickets to any nitehawk screening here.
Washington Square Outdoor Art Exhibit, Washington Square Park, Manhattan.
a damn good reason to cross the river this weekend in washington square park. it’s a museum al fresco with the bi-annual outdoor art art exhibition, featuring artists from all over the city and all over the world. go, take in some art. get inspired and feel better about the rest of your weekend, and all of those projects you promised you’d get a start on with the long weekend. now is the time. do them. (just after you check out all of this art.) all info here. sat-monday (plus next sat + sun!) enjoy the beautiful and blossoming fruits of their creative labor this labor day.
SUNDAY
Lucky #8 – Burmese Pop-Up Dinner from Myanmar at Baby’s All Right, Williamsburg.
burmese pop-up from myanmar at baby’s all right- dinner! no rsvp needed
i know, i know. i pretty much only think of baby’s all right as that place where i’m always sweating and dancing like mad in that backroom with the rad lights show to some band i love or have just fallen in love with. well, they do dinners! yep. and dare i say our relationships with baby’s all right have evolved a bit. let’s join them sunday night for lucky #8, a burmese pop-up. there will be , , , and there might certainly be some sweating. and dancing. all info here, first come, first serve. 146 broadway. you aight, baby? yeah… baby’s all right.
Riis Beach Bazaar, Jacob Riis, The Rockaways.
guys guys. it’s the beach bizarre. which came about when the night bizarre was ousted from their greenpoint outpost, but now it will be reinstated, next week! so let’s go and celebrate the last weekend of this fabulous … turned institution. free entertainment and all of your favorite food vendors and drink mixers and friend. plus sunshine and sand all day.
Electric Zoo After Party,
you’re an animal. and you know this. and just because you didn’t go to electric zoo does not mean that you can’t party with those electric animals, after. if you want. and just between you and me, i bet you most of their electricity will have shorted out by this time of the evening (if you know will) (and i know you will), so hey- go to this. you’ll have a lot of room to move those hips on the dance floor and it will be easy to catch the bartenders attention with your fresh gaze and astute soldiers. it’s all happening at output. info and tickets here. 74 wythe ave at output- where you have to put out to get in.
The New Moon: A Guided Viewing Experience at The Hollows, Williamsburg.
can’t teach a new moon old tricks it seems. that’s why we need to all head to the hollows sunday night, for a guided viewing experience for this new moon phase. come for a 30-minute program followed by a viewing of the new moon. bring your own telescope or binoculars or use theirs… i secretly hope once we all loo through our viewing devices it’s just a fresh butt on the other side. but hey, that’s just me. all info here, sunday night, 9-10pm, 151 bedford ave. at the hollows- where you never feel empty. the hollows- where everything sounds like a bellowy greeting. (they’re trying to choose a slogan that will stick. feel free to leave your vote in the comments box below!)
MONDAY
oh BABY. take a deep breath, ok? we get a free motherfucking monday to do whatevver the hell we want. why? because we labor. because we work. we do not have to today. donate to your union, put all your wages in your pocket, and let’s celebrate, come with me??
West Indian-American Carnival, Crown Heights.
labor day might be a very american holiday, but trust me, you don’t want to miss this. the west indian-american carnivale in crown heights is everything you want this labor day. there will be music, there will be dancing, there will be art, there will be a hell of a lot more colorful feathers than you thought you’d run into on a monday (or i mean maybe less, i don’t know what you do.) this carnival is celebrating it’s 86th year in the city and you need to be a part of is this time. all event info can be found here, and you will find me there. 11am-6pm.
Labor Day Dance Party at The Farm on Kent, Williamsburg.
that’s right baby it’s a good old fashioned labor day hoe down on the farm. except this farm is filled with hipsters (and let’s be honest, plenty of hoes) and it’s in the shadow of the williamsburg bridge and the bluegrass trio has been replaced by dope djs and you will actually enjoy being there. all info here, 2-10pm, 320 kent ave. come, let’s boogie.
Summer Mondays at Zurilee Park, Lefferts Gardens.
yep, somehow i’ve missed this. all summer. i’ve let you down, brooklyn, and i’m sorry. but i’m not hanging up my hat, not just yet. apparently all summer zurilee park has been handing out free beers plus having mad cool dance parties with all-night happy hour deals and dope pizza. and djs. in a fresh as fuck backyard. and i haven’t been going, and neither have you i bet. so let’s go to the last and pretend like we’ve been there the whole time. “wow, i’m surprised they chose these pizza toppings for the last bash!” and “mmm, this must be the 82nd free zurille beer i’ve had this summer!” anyway, whatever we’ll make it work. monday. if you really need to know more than free beer, i guess click here. 230-11pm, 755 flatbush ave. at zurilee- a place i haven’t been. yet.
Labor Day Beach Party at Videology, Williamsburg.
ah yes and then of course this non-beach beach party at videology. this is the beach party for all of you excuse makers who aren’t going to make it to the beach. and you pale people. heyyy, i’m kidding. this is going to be a cool party and everyone has their reasons for not hitting the beach. let this be yours. tropical cocktails and beachy films all day, all night. party starts at noon, info here, 308 bedford ave.
Go to Jacob Riis.ok fine then, go to the beach today! the beach bizarre is still there, waiting for you.
getsummered one last time. (make it count.)
House of Yes Labor Day BBQ, Bushwick.
i know this doesn’t surprise you. there’s an amazing all day barbecue and party at house of yes monday. because it’s labor day and if you’ve ever walked by one of their day parties, that massive and beautiful sound system draws you in like a moth to a flame or a hungover hipster toward a really loud day party. monday’s event is all we’ve been working for, guys- hot meat, dirty dancing, good vibes, sunshine. grills. america bandanas and hats and hearts. arrive before 4pm to get in free, tickets available here and at the door also (all of this was confusing to me, just go if you want to go.) 2 wyckoff ave. because it isn’t a holiday without a massive event at house of yes – where they put the affirmative into all the action.
*i just wanted everyone to notice that the music is TBA and the food is TBA yet all rsvps are sold out. yeah. it’s an outdoor barbecue and party and they haven’t even said anything about the music or the food and it doesn’t even fucking matter. house of yes, give me some of that magic. i’m fucking serious man. give it to me. 2pm-2am.
#screendoorofenchantment at Reclamation Bar, Williamsburg.
this event promises that “you will be transported to a far away land within brooklyn”… YES. i have no idea what this is. absolutely no clue. but you know what i do know? i will take the secret door of enchantment in hopes that it leads me anywhere other than being hungover and sunburnt and angry at my desk on tuesday morning. i won’t even look back, not once. let’s go together. 8pm-midnight at reclamation bar,
there isn’t any information on it but here is a website. go on, click away. unless you’re john nash there are no other hints there. 8pm-midnight, 817 metropolitan ave. at reclamation bar- a place for scavengers.™
phew i don’t know about you, but all of this celebrating the fruits of my labor has left me… well, fruitless. and ruthless. and a bit empowered to quit before the harvest. and move to bali. ya dig?
(let’s go.)
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