Looking for a little escape this weekend? I’ve got just the thing.
Read on. And let’s get out of here, baby.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Thursday
Holiday Tasting at Spirit Animal in Greenpoint
Having some trouble getting into the spirit this holiday season? What, you mean, it isn’t enough trying to balance a full time job with whatever is likely your passion project and trying to figure out how the hell you’ll be able to pay rent this month on top of affording time off to go see your family and bring them all gifts AND also, you have nothing sparkly to wear on NYE. Yeah, spirits are officially dimmed. Some friends of mine in Williamsburg want to change that. Spirit Animal Brooklyn is a charming little wine and spirit shop that has the answer to almost all of your ’tis the season woes. Come, forget about the bad times, say yes to the good times, find gifts for everyone, find something sparkly (that is, some drinkable sparkles) and get into the damn spirit. It’s a FREE tasting and celebration, and you need to be there. Info here. 20 Broadway.
Mortified at Littlefield in Gowanus
Feeling a little down that maybe you haven’t exactly been “living your best life!” lately? Well, this will make you feel better. Head to Littlefield tonight for this “excavation of teen angst artifacts” (journals, letters, poems, lyrics, home movies, stories and more) as shared by their original authors before total strangers. Because we can all agree, at least, we’ve come a long way since handjobs and Smirnoff Ice. Tickets, $10 available here. 7:30-9:30pm, afterparty at Parklife (don’t embarrass yourself.) 635 Sackett St. #handjobsandsmirnoffice
A Very Meow Meor Holiday Cabaret at BAM in Downtown Brooklyn
Can you get on Santa’s Bad List just by watching other people do bad things? Probably not, right? But what if you like it? What if it makes you do bad things yourself? And what if you decide that after all, the bad list is kind of a good place for you, and you know a lot of other people on it too? There’s only one really good way to find out… that’s by heading to the Brooklyn Academy of Music (sounds good so far) and getting a ticket to the Holiday Cabaret (I mean, what could go wrong?) And then finding yourself in an audience of strangers in the dark and not enough honest places to lay your hands (this is getting weird…) Listen. You’ve been on the Good List long enough. Come to the Dark Side. Tickets available here. 30 Lafayette Ave.
Ho, Ho, Holiday Lounge at the Springs in Greenpoint
So you know when your girlfriend is all like, “baby, should we get a tree this year?” and all you hear is, “hey, should we mindlessly spend $100 additional dollars on bringing some timestamped plantlife into our home in addition to the cactus that is clearly dying, at exactly the time when you’re trying to pinch every penny to make me happy on Christmas morning?” Well yeah. Yeah you should. And just when she doesn’t expect you to say yes, raise her one with a trip to the Ho Ho Holiday Lounge, a little piece of the North Pole right here in Greenpoint. They’ll have holiday cocktails, Fornino wood-baked pizza, painfully festive decor, plenty of places to warm up by the fire*, and so many other events to help you get into the spirit, and maybe… make her forget about that tree. Info here, including tons of daily events! 224 Franklin St.
*if ya know what I mean
Sagittarius Party at the Gradient in Bushwick
Now’s your chance to go look a Sagittarius in the eye and ask them to be honest, how badly do they wish they had been born prematurely and been part of this savage multi-dimensional cult of shameless Scorpios? Nah I’m totally kidding (kind of…) but don’t say that to a sag. Instead, entertain their sense of wonderment and explore their characteristically flexible sides and reliable tendency to roam this Thursday at the Gradient. They’ll be throwing their annual Sagittarius birthday party, which means a lot of people who are looking to get lucky, or at least get down to their birthday suits. They’ll have tarot readings and interpretable fortunes, drink specials and drinks that make you wonder what the hell you did wrong, and dancing all night, well into dawn. Listen, you always have a reason to party. Thursday night, make it your birth reason. Info here. 8-11pm. 17 Wyckoff Ave. (in other words, head to House of Yes afterwards)
Things to do in Brooklyn on Friday
Future of Clubbing with Caravan Gitane at ZeroSpace, in (believe it or not…) Midtown Manhattan
If you know me, then you know that I hate made-for-Instagram-immersive-installations. With all the world-class museums in this town, how dare we decide to make ourselves the center of the art. However, this one seems different. They’ve been titillating people’s sense for two months now, and Friday night they’ll take this underground immersion a little deeper along with our longtime friends at Caravan Gitane. And, they finally got their liquor license… which comes along with a slew of renowned DJs who want you to live and experience nightlife in NYC on a completely different level. If you’ve thought your clubbing days were in the past, leave them there… and check out the Future of Clubbing, at ZeroSpace. Yes, it’s in a shitty area of Manhattan, but also es, I think that’s what makes it bolder and somewhat cooler. This will be a multi-sensory experience that I will encourage you to enact the Budd System within, and also to stay all night. Most of the info you need is here. For the rest, use your imagination… I know you can.
Holiday Disco at Houe of Yes in Bushwick
Disco isn’t dead and neither am I and neither are you and you know what? Neither is Santa. Or, I mean… I don’t wanna think so. So let’s celebrate Friday night with all that’s merry and bright at our most favorite and festive house in the neighborhood. House of Yes will be having their annual Holiday Disco which means come in all your glitter, and bearing all your gifts. Dance all night, find someone special under the mistletoe. Or someone mediocre in the bathroom. It doesn’t matter, it’s the holidays. Tickets and info here. 10pm-4am, 2 Wyckoff Ave.
All I Want for Christmas is Robyn at Brooklyn Bowl in Williamsburg
I mean… when you’re our age (I’m just assuming my readers have also grown with me here) and you mostly just buy the things you really want when you really want them, then what does sound better than having Robyn at Brooklyn Bowl atop your list this year? (that was a rhetorical question). All you want for Christmas is Robyn, at Brooklyn Bowl, this Friday night. Trust me. Trust Santa. Trust this amazing venue and all the magic that always comes from it. Get your tickets here now, and let’s dance back into the times of yore. Doors open at 11:30pm. 61 Wythe Ave.
Motor City Drum Ensemble at the Knockdown Center in Maspeth, Queens
Why throw it down this weekend when you can knock it down? Yep, you can’t really answer that and that’s ok with me. Just trust that your best bet is to knock it down, at the Knockdown Center, to the absolutely euphoric dance beats of the Motor City Drum Ensemble. Never been to the Knockdown Center? Imagine an immersive, artistic playground made for adults with amazing lights and all the people you want to be around, dancing to the same (or similar) beats. Yep, now you can answer my question, right? Knock it down this weekend. Get your tickets here now. Doors open at 9pm, there is a shuttle. 52-19 Flushing Ave.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Saturday
Nutcracker Rouge at Theater XIV in Bushwick
Be honest with yourself. There’s no more need for the “naughty or nice” bit this year. You’re getting coal and switches (ooh!) this year and that was pretty much determined before the end of 2017. So let’s get really good and naughty here as Christmas approaches by going to this dirty iteration of a Holiday classic. It’s the Nutcracker Rouge, a kinky burlesque cabaret ballet that reinterprets the classic coming-of-age tale as one of sexual awakening. It runs now through 1/13 but go before Christmas. Don’t ruin it for yourself next year. Tickets are $75 and are available here. 383 Troutman St.
Santa Con Nowhere In Brooklyn This Year
Fuck Santa Con and what it does to this city and how badly it ruins the dreams of children to see Santa pissing in phone booths and vomiting on the subway and screaming at her boyfriend in a very uncharacteristically, jolly-less way. And yes, ok, I did it once. Ok, twice. I get it. But that was BEFORE it got so out of control. So just a heads up Santas, watch for these signs and don’t even try to get in. Stay in Murray Hill where you belong. And hey listen, good on you Union Pool for making an effort to be douche-less for one day of the year. I get it, you can’t help it, and this is really the only sign you can legally put up in order to keep them out. I’m sorry we’ve all stopped coming and trying to keep you cool. Williamsburg is lost. Goodbye.
Social Justice Holiday Market at MayDay Space in Bushwick
Because nothing will go smoother at your family’s Christmas celebration than explaining to your mom that her gift goes actually goes towards children trapped and abandoned at the border because oh yeah, there never was a caravan and this country was founded on immigrants and that your great grandparents came through Ellis Island. Ok, ok… no need to stir up too much commotion, but there is a desire to have your holiday spending money go towards good causes. MayDay Space will be holding a Social Justice Holiday Market this Saturday, which means every gift you choose will go toward a range of causes as part of broader grassroots movements and the solidarity economy. There’s no better way to gift-give this season. It’s happening from noon-6pm, info here. 176 St. Nicholas Ave.
Zero Presents Winter Wonderland at the Knockdown Center in Maspeth
Just because it feels like winter outside doesn’t mean we’re walking in a winter wonderland. More like an inconvenient commute and a reason we realize we shouldn’t be biking, after we get on our bikes and are too proud to turn back around. Zero Presents wants to help paint a pretty picture of the reality of the season, and welcome you into their own version of a winter wonderland, at the Knockdown Center this Saturday night. How will they do this, you may ask? By inviting 8 of the world’s best DJs to spin you into a little winter frenzy, all night. This is the party you want to be at this weekend. Get your tickets here now. 52-19 Flushing Ave.
Ugly Sweater Art Run in Williamsburg
In the age of fusion everything, it seems that any singular-dimensional event is simply of the past. I want my strippers to come with a side of sushi! I need to do my laundry while playing arcade games and drinking in a dive bar with my friends! I want to be fully immersed and enticed and confused and over-stimulated! I need to flaunt my tacky sweater while taking in as much street art as possible and also, working out! I need this. It’s my Christmas wish. Well baby, you got it. It’s the ugly sweater art run and it’s happening this Saturday in Williamsburg. This 5K run takes you through the wondrous streets of north Brooklyn while we all sweat in our sweaters and secrete last year’s egg nog. Sign up here for $25, 10am-noon. Meet at the Living Gallery, 1094 Broadway.
Magic Eye Party at House of Yes in Bushwick
I once brought up a party at House of Yes with a coworker before a meeting, who had also been at the same party that weekend. “How crazy were the bathrooms? With all of those bugs and spiders everywhere?” The look on her face told me I should shut up as all of the executives filed into the board room. First of all, she just went into a different stall it seems, and also, most of the time you’re at House of Yes, you can’t believe your eyes. Embrace just that this weekend at their Magic Eye party. In their own words- “Seek the Magic. View the void. Feel the body. Breathe the beat. Taste the tempo. Get your trips through dance. *No LSD required* Look deeper and be the beauty. The magic is moving you.” Dress in psychedelic styles. Info and inspo right here. See you there, at least… I think I will. 10pm-4am, 2 Wyckoff Ave.
Hartstop at Rubulad, somewhere in Bushwick
Holiday parties usually suck. Parties at Rubulad never do. So hedge your bets and head to their Hartstop holiday party and market, featuring a wild array of music, vendors, food, art, and Bushwick wonderlandness. Make some and decisions about gifts. Make some good decisions about lovers. Dance your way around all of it. $8 to enter, at a secret place that you’ll only know the address once you commit. So just do it. There’s no troll or riddle involved (I mean, usually.) Info here. Location TBA (but in Bushwick)
Things to do in Brooklyn on Sunday
brb, had a little holiday partying to catch up on…
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