season’s change brooklyn. and i try hard not to think of you.
but then here i am, chained to this domain i’ve made a 5-year commitment to. and so here i am, and here we are. and the weather is getting colder. the harvest is here. and what bounty do we have to reap from our summertime festivities? a sputtering bank account? an unequivocal thirst for summertime ales? an augmented roster of past lovers? the shadow of what used to be summer skin?
write it all down. all of your sins and savings and ball it into a little ball and throw that ball into the bonfire or small candle and watch it burn and then go find the scarves of yesteryear and put one on and go out. get out there. thing will be different yes, but maybe you are too. maybe we all are. there’s a new brooklyn out there to discover so let’s do it. together, in our autumn skin.
THURSDAY
SAVAGE at Triskelion Arts, Greenpoint.
what is actually expected of us? this civilization that we have created has become bigger than we are, and to keep up, we must exist and behave and peperform in so many ways and on so many levels. lashing out it a temptation that is always too close within reach. an evening-length performance takes a comparative look at this, the human experience and behavior in urban and wild environments. all converging in our concrete jungle. and underneath it all, aren’t we nothing more than savages? tickets, $16 advance, $20 door, available here along with all other info. performances thursday AND friday. 106 calyer st. at triskelion arts – where every performance begins with a glass of wine at liz’s apartment. which is a block away.™
drinks and bad behavior directly after at sauvage, my favorite place to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Club Chaos Aerial Performance and Amateur Pole Dancing at House of Yes, Bushwick.
top aerial dancers perform, and after get down and dirty with djs spinning all night, plus amateurs hit the tallest pole in bushwick for pole idol. and yes this means you can try your luck too. don’t worry, no one will ask any questions when you walk into work bowlegged on friday morning. or maybe they will but what the fuck do you care. real life exists outside the 9-5, and more often than not, suspended somehow in the air. all info here, party starts at 10pm, 2 wyckoff ave at the house of yes- where they don’t take no for an answer.
“Stab in the Dark” Documentary Screening + Open Bar at House of Vans, Greenpoint.
i can’t tell you how many times i say “brooklyn is the dopest place in the world” a day. ok, well i think it’s like 2, on average. more on fridays, less on mondays. case in point. tonight at house of vans, come to a screening of surf film + documentary stab in the dark with an open bar. as in, free drinks. free film. free fun. just RSVP HERE, and find me there, 25 franklin st, 7pm at the house of vans – at it again.™ (too easy? ok cool, leave your own slogan in the comments section below. we’ll take it into consideration. really.)
FRIDAY
Farm 2 Turntable Culinary Dub Edition, Dinner and Music Mixer, North Brooklyn Farms, Williamsburg.
this is what we are all .com-ing to. it all converges here, the juxtaposition of the farm and the table and the river and the skyilne. it’s locally sourced and fearfully denied. it’s that high-low ish. and it was created, for us and because of us and it will appeal, to plenty of us. with a hot $85 bucks in our pockets and a hunger for hypocrisy. Farm to (turn!)table dinner and music fusion event at the lovely and sprawling enough north brooklyn farms. 4 hour music and dinner mixer at sunset featuring a four-course “pot” luck (yo don’t shoot the messenger, read between the lines here) dinner. drinks and dancing and celebrating and life is sprinkled throughout, for good measure. tickets and all other info here. 630-1030, 320 kent ave at the F2T culinary dub edition.
What the Float Party in Brooklyn Heights.
ok guys. i’m open to this. i am. but i feel like if we’re all so fucking buoyant and effervescent then why don’t we… pop along together or converge into the larger sphere that we call life, eh? or maybe this is it. maybe this is our way of combating the solemnity and breaking out. ish. ok i’ll just get right to it, this is a silent party where everyone converges upon said party in their own ears but they’re together apart together apart together together together, forever, temporarily. and i mean, it sounds dope. tickets are $10, it converges in a dope spot in brooklyn heights, 9pm-4am at 139 montague st. and let’s just check it out and maybe we’ll have the night of our lives, as they elude… or you know…. we’ll all float on. all right.
Treetops Mad Science Fair at House of Yes, Bushwick.
it’s like the science fairs we all participated in in high school, except voluntary and with boundless imagination due to our extracurricular tendencies and the abstract is really fucking abstract. and it’s at the motherfucking house of YES. you can (still!) submit your own entry to the fair via email here, or just attend, and marvel in a lighting installation powered entirely by potatoes and something called the mutant combination machine, which i think we all enter and come out as stephane erkal free before 11pm and costumes are no longer required but are always encouraged. all other info here. 2 wyckoff ave at the house of yes – where science is just an affirmation of imagination.™
The Wasteland at Smiling Hogshead Ranch, Long Island City, Queens.
there are few differences between ts eliot’s the wasteland and the wasteland that is yours and my lifestyle in this shantytown we so affectionately refer to as brooklyn. widely regarded as one of the most important poems of the 20th century, we also consider ourselves and our lifestyles one of most important of our century. and like the poet, we see beauty and strength in between the grit and grime. come see the intersection of energies at the smiling hogshead ranch (yeah i know, i don’t know either man ok? but just bear with me ok?) in long island city. it’s a live reading and performance of the man’s play here in our humble abode. come. together. right now. $10 is all you need. all info here, 6-9pm, at the smiling hogshead 25-30 skillman ave
SATURDAY
High Line Open Studios, Chelsea, in Manhattan.
oh look at manhattan, trying to be hip. like us. but none of us can deny the relentless appeal of the highline and the boundless inspiration of the galleries that lay beneath. come to their open studios for a distinctly different yet oh-so-refreshing all-day affair this saturday, and sunday! embark on a self-guided tour of 75 private studios. all info here. and you should go you know, because it’s your only reason the cross the river this weekend. 526 W 26th Street
Gowanus Open Studios, all up in Gowanus.
embark upon a tour of the wonderous and oft-inspiring art studios of gowanus. they are all open to you, brooklyn. saturday and sunday. head to the hub first at trestle gallery and wander from there among 300+ artist studios. noon-6pm, saturday AND sunday! info and maps here and hey if you accidentally find yourself at threes brewing, that’s damn ok too. live music and brews nerry washed down an art exhibit more sweetly. 168 7th st.
“Falling In”, Trestle Gallery, Gowanus.
anyone else a little hesitant about anything called an “underwater experience” in gowanus? we all remember what happened with this insane guy, and were following along with the epic dolphin adventure. this immersive experience in gowanus guarantees that you’ll say uncontaminated yet fascinated as it takes a deep-dive into true gowanus crimes and devastation and the ever-changing fabric of the neighborhood. info here. check it out saturday at 400 3rd Ave
Beer for Beasts at the Bell House, Gowanus.
the only tiny pang of guilt i feel as i enjoy beer after beer after beer is that my precious bear cat is sitting at home, unable to get into the bar and party with me and my homies. you gotta pet? then you know what i mean. let’s pull out all the stops pawses saturday with the bell house‘s annual beer for beasts fund raiser! you’re going to be drinking beers anyway. might as well help some animals while becoming a savage animal yourself. all info here, 1-5pm at the bell house, 149 7th st.
Free Salsa Lessons, Brooklyn’s Finest Dance Studio, Sunset Park.
free salsa lessons guys. and in a town that has such a beating heart for some of the best latin dance scenes outside of south america, we all need to get in there. so start here. free lessons. oh and also, someone maybe very close to this blog has been taking lessons and maybe she’d like a partner. huh? yeah. 475 41st st at brooklyn’s finest dance studio. they won’t take money, but in exchange, they are open to graphic design lessons.
and after class, we will all test our newfound skills and confidence and sexual desires on the dance floor at sub rosa– where a rose by any other name would still be no substitute for you. baby.
French Horn Rebellion at the Brooklyn Night Bazaar, Greenpoint
it’s like a horny coup d’etat. plus mini golf plus artisan goods plus karaoke plus food vendors plus drinks plus all your best friends and me too. GO TO THIS. tickets, $12 here. show starts at 7pm, everything else goes all night baby. 150 greenpoint ave.
Zero presents Cirque Magique, Secret Location.
the zero party group throws some of the coolest and most over-the-top events in the warehouse space, thrown presumedly for non-brooklynites… with tickets at $70. when invading our space, be more approachable. that being said, this will be a hell of a time. look at that fucking image. get lost in it. or maybe just get high and stare at the poster and save yourself some bucks. this party goes from 11pm to 11am with an after-party. they promise “surprises, celebration, and magic” and encourage “participation”. so. yep. tickets and info here! [location announced saturday afternoon] with Zero- we started at the bottom now we’re way up here. or something.™
Brooklyn Crab Festival, Clinton Hill.
it’s about damn tiiiiiiime that the upper crust of the crustaceans get their share of the spotlight in this yankee town. yeah, that’s right, i said it. fuck lobsters. or, i’m sorry – lobstahs. fuck them. why don’t all you little prissy-toed pincher-pickers head on down to the brooklyn crab fest and let a real woman show you how to handle some seafaring fare. buy your tickets here via pulsd for $39. both afternoon and evening sesh available. go, pick, eat, drink. and be fucking merry. in clinton hill, 284 Grand Avenue at Mirrors on Grand- where all our reflections are grand.™
SUNDAY
Queens Beer Festival, Long Island City.
in the county of kings, we must pay homage to our neighbors to the north. which is easy to do in a borough as dynamic dynamic as queens that has events as dope as this weekend’s beer fest. saturday and sunday has all of your favorite vendors and breweries waiting to quench your thirst or appease your appetite or satiate your curiosity or simply spark all of it. just make sure you head back south when it’s over, k? we need you. 5-25 46th Avenue.
Hocus Pocus showing at Videology, Williamsburg.
SUNDAY marks the first full moon of the month. when the werewolves and spooks and freaks come out. and because it’s the month of the scorpio, all of brooklyn will be enraptured by our poisonous claws. anyway, they’re doing a thing at videology. we’re watching hocus pocus and drinking spooky potions and there will be a bonfire and everything else you’ve ever wanted. party starts at 6pm, or when the virgin lights the black flame candle. so we also need a virgin. so. we might have to get one from staten island. but you just worry about you. tickets, $20 and all other info are right here. 308 bedford ave.
it may be cold out but i’m still hott for you. brooklyn.
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