Listen up Brooklyn. Yesterday was my birthday and that means hungover me had to fight to pull every single clever word below out of her foggy brain and onto this screen for you. But I fought through it to bring you this frisky little Weekend Guide because in the end, all I want for my birthday is for you to go out and enjoy this city.
Ok I mean and like a few other things to but, you get it. Go get ’em, tiger.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Thursday
Mortified at Littlefield in Gowanus
Feeling a little down that maybe you haven’t exactly been “living your best life!” lately? Well, this will make you feel better. Head to Littlefield tonight for this “excavation of teen angst artifacts” (journals, letters, poems, lyrics, home movies, stories and more) as shared by their original authors before total strangers. Because we can all agree, at least, we’ve come a long way since handjobs and Smirnoff Ice. Tickets, $10 available here. 7:30-9:30pm, afterparty at Parklife (don’t embarrass yourself.) 635 Sackett St. #handjobsandsmirnoffice
From Chopin to Gershwin, a concierto at St. John’s Lutheran Church in Greenpoint
Ok listen. When I say “Chic-fil-a” what do you immediately think? Fucking delicious. Right? Yes, they have shitty close-minded opinions. Yes, they also have absolutely delicious fried chicken that you can stuff down your throat without absorbing anything else this company believes in. And you know what else? For nearly the same reason you can go to this amazing concert tonight in Greenpoint that was moved from Carnegie Hall to an intimate little concert hall in a church on Milton street. Come and bask in Chopin to Gershwin and appreciate being moved the way only truly stunning piano playing can move you and don’t be concerned with whatever asshole bigot originally sponsored this event. Seriously, don’t. You know who you are and what you stand for. But your ears deserve to hear this with all the other noise pollution out there. Tickets here. 7-9pm, 155 Milton St.
Nutcracker Rouge by Company XIV in Bushwick
Yes, there is such a thing as celebrating the holidays way, way too early (hello, Big D on Manhattan Ave…) but stripping down all of the bullshit to celebrate a holiday tradition with some of the absolute best talent in the city is always right on time. Company XIV brings back their absolutely unbelievable version of the Nutcracker starting this weekend and trust me when I tell you it’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen in this city. And I don’t say that lightly. Get your tickets here now. 383 Troutman St.
Saxel-Threes Cheese and Beer Class at Threes Brewing in Gowanus
Can you think of a better combination than pairing fancy cheeses with hyper-local microbrews within Brooklyn’s best brewery in Gowanus this Thursday night? Go ahead, try. Or better yet, just head to this event at Threes brewing and discover all your favorite beers in a cheesy new way, with the head monger and owner of Saxelby’s Cheese. Tickets, $45, available here. 6:30-8:30pm, 333 Douglass St.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Friday
There’s a Light-Up Dance Floor at JJ’s Hideaway in Williamsburg
If you haven’t heard, there’s a light-up dance floor at JJ’s Hideway meaning all those moves and grooves you’ve been waiting all week to break out will look so much cooler. And, in my humble opinion, this funky little outpost is saving Williamsburg. Because let’s face it, Williamsburg is dead. Located just a few blocks from that fancy-ass hotel with the $150 cocktail, their $8 frozen cosmo and disco beats will give you a reason to come back to Brooklyn’s Meatpacking District. Info here. 97 North 10th St.
Now Serving: A Guide to Aesthetic Etiquette at the Collapsible Hole in the West Village
Your best #reasontocrosstheriver this weekend will bring you into the amazingly bizarre world of Radiohole, the company praised as “masters of design-forward experimental mayhem”. Friday night they’ll be turning a 4-course meal into a wholly immersive dinner party that will unleash into a surreal bacchanalian feast. Because why should you have dinner the same way you do every single night. Make it a performance. Make it memorable. Make someone else lick things off your body. I don’t know, let’s just see what happens. Tickets are $50 and include food, cocktails, and wine. Get yours here now. 8-9:30pm, 55 Bethune St.
Underwater New York’s 10th Anniversary Party at Magick City in Greenpoint
Because this is New York and we shouldn’t have to choose just one single event to give our precious time to, we can instead go to an event that is a poetry reading an immersive art experience, a sonic ritual (?) and a dance party. Yep. All of that underneath the roof of a kombucha factory and performance space. It’s a celebration for Underwater New York, so submerge yourself in 10 years of amazing words and writers. This event is free, but bring a donation. Info here. 8pm-2am, 37 Box St.
Tapas and Flamenco at El Born and Cantina Cumbancha
I am a shameless hispanophile, and you should be too. A country that’s about the size of Texas with so much rich culture and ham at nearly every turn should be celebrated, all the time. Celebrate it this Friday night with some tapas and flamenco. Start at El Born on Manhattan Ave for tapas and a few of their signature Gin and Tonics and then head to Cantina Cumbancha in Williamsburg for a flamenco show. Tickets are $10 and are available here. Bring Your Own Jamon. 232 N. 12th St.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Saturday
Just Go to the Brooklyn Bazaar in Greenpoint
The Brooklyn Bazaar is CLOSING at the end of this month and it breaks my heart. Let’s all go and make memories and get lost and find each other in this multi-level adult playground. And then let’s take shots and forget we sung karaoke until we hear We Built This City on the radio at Cafe Grumpy the next day. Oof. Check their calendar here and get your ass there before it’s too late.
The Brother Brothers, Buck Meek, and Pearla at the Sultan Room in Bushwick
If you haven’t yet heard of the Turk’s Inn, then make sure you tell everyone you heard it here first. (I mean it, tell them.) The Turk’s Inn was a kitschy supper club in Northern Wisconsin for 80 years and when it shuddered its doors in 2014 after the owner died, best friends Varun Kataria and Tyler Erickson bought as much of the decor and ephemera as they could at an estate sale and have been working for 3 years to reopen it, in Bushwick. This kitschy, dreamy, and not at all authentic Arabic adventure will transport you, if not anywhere, to the magic of the 1960s midwest. Best of all? They have a music venue on the top floor and Saturday night they invite The Brother Brothers, Buck Meek, and Pearla to the disco-fabulous stage. Tickets available here. Go early, have dinner. Stay late, get a Kebab. 234 Starr St.
Spend the Day and Night at the Brooklyn Museum in Prospect Heights
Just park your cute little self at the Brooklyn Museum all day and night on Saturday. Because it’s cold outside and that means it’s the season that we all become museum-goers. On top of their already enticing exhibitions and permanent collection (ahem, Judy Chicago’s The Dinner Party ) they’ll have a charming pop-up market out front this Saturday full of handmade goods and all the answers to your holiday shopping woes, AND they’ll stay open late for a night at the museum dance party. Yeah. And then you can “From The Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E Frankweiler” if you want to… if you know what I mean (does anyone know what I mean?) Info here. 200 Eastern Parkway.
La Dolce Vita by Rubulad in Bushwick
There’s a very easy rule of thumb when it comes to partying in Brooklyn. And that rule is Rubulad. Just go to whatever they are throwing. Trust me. They have been throwing the best and most underground parties in Brooklyn for nearly 10 years now, and Saturday’s event will not disappoint. Get tickets here now. Location TBA (it’s in Bushwick).
Things to do in Brooklyn on Sunday
Brooklyn Chili Takedown at Lot45 in Bushwick
There are a lot of reasons that your coworkers might decide to hate you on Monday. Maybe you’re too hungover to be productive. Maybe they just hate everything on Mondays. Or maybe you went to the Brooklyn Chili Takedown on Sunday and then proceeded to take down the employee bathrooms. But you know what? Fuck them. Eat chili. Eat chili from over 20 different local chefs. Drink beers. Don’t think about Monday. Tickets here. 411 Troutman St.
Put Your Hands Up For Detroit with a Documentary and Square Pizza
Because Detroit is fucking dope and deserves a little lifting-up given the Red Wings current record, go see this amazing documentary that highlights the rise and fall of the Motor City and the people who keep its strong heart beating, and then go have Detroit-style square pizza at Emmy Squared. Because there’s so much to love and learn from Detroit. $10 tickets here. 322 Union Ave.
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