Hey Brooklyn. It’s the third weekend of August. Let’s check in here. How much rose have you consumed? How many hours have been happily spent slurping down oysters? How tan is your skin? How much sand is in your bed, and how many new lovers have noticed it?
There isn’t much summer left. Now is the time to bask in all of its magic. I’ll show you how to, in your weekend guide. Get to it.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Thursday
Grand Street Restaurant Week 2019
Competing for a table in Manhattan during restaurant week only to experience a few unenthusiastic plates from a less thrilled server is something we all learn not to do after our first year here in the city. (Take that, Flex Mussels!) But diving into this micro-neighborhood’s bi-annual dinner celebration is something you must learn to do. It’s Grand Street Restaurant Week, and it’s where you will be eating all of your meals this weekend. Make a reservation through one of these fine establishments, and see you there.
Chicken Parm Night at Archestratus in Greenpoint
There’s no denying that Greenpoint is the epicenter of all of the good things happening in the food scene in the city right now. And that means fighting for reservations at very Instagrammable venues with pricey tasting menus and “too cool” bartenders (hahahaha that one is about me and I’m really fucking proud of it.) Or, it means eating in a cafe hidden in the back of a cookbookstore and savoring a recipe passed down from the owner’s Nonna and realizing that this is the true epicenter of everything that should be happening in the food scene in this town. It’s chicken parm dinner night at Archestratus and you want to be there. Get tickets here and then go get saucy. 160 Huron St.
Books and Brews at Threes Brewing in Greenpoint
If your idea of a book swap is digging through a box marked “Free!” on someone’s stoop and then, a few years later, putting that same book into your own box marked “Free.”, then kick things into high gear at Threes Brewing, this Thursday night. In anticipation of the reopening of our beloved community library that you never went to (it’s ok, we’ll go now!), they’re inviting you to exchange books and beers and conversation with your neighbors. So start reading something now so you seem interesting. Also, don’t bring a book no one wants. You’ll be leaving with it, and your shame. Be there, 6-9pm. Info here. 113 Franklin St.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Friday
The Diamond’s 12th Anniversary Party in Greenpoint
It’s the Diamond’s 12th anniversary! You know, everyone’s favorite little yellow-doored bar on Franklin st! 12 years ago Diamond Dave opened and painted that door and the hearts of Greenpointers forever. Plus, he added that charming little gondola in the back that has helped speed up our first dates into the place where we get answers more quickly. Thank you, Dave! Go and celebrate something that has staying power in a town that is defined by change. Also, Not Rod will be there. And Not Rod is a Raunchy Rod Stewart impersonator who you want to party with. Trust me. Go, drink beers, play shuffleboard, get handsy in the gondola. Info here. 112 Franklin St.
Zero Space in Midtown Manhattan, and also another dimension
I just have a feeling this is a secret door that will lead you to the Rose Mansion. Or, Greyhound is finally coming up with a better marketing campaign. “A portal to another dimension has appeared in New York City, near Port Authority Bus Terminal. Are you brave enough to see what’s on the other side?” Shame on you, Zero Space, if it’s the former, and way to go Greyhound if it’s the latter. All I know is that this seems trippy and not just built for Instagram, and it is by far your best #reasontocrosstheriver this weekend. Tickets available here. Go anytime, and stay forever, apparently, if you want. (One quick note: from my research, it does not appear to end in a ball pit. So. Be prepared not to be in a ball pit in the end.)
House of Love: Animal Nature at House of Yes in Bushwick
Are you having trouble trying to tell your friends you’re fur-curious? Worried they’ll be… furious? Or just maybe you’ll all return to your own animal instincts and you’ll do it at the best place in Brooklyn to get down and dirty and downright frisky? Regardless of your reasononing, get your beasty little butt to the House of Love: Animal Nature party this Friday. Costumes required, get creative. But don’t just put your cat on your head. That’s a bad idea, even for Bushwick. Tickets and info here. 10pm-4am, 2 Wyckoff Ave.
Fundraising Party for the Bushwick Food Co-Op at the Muse in Bushwick
You know you’re going to be eating and drinking and dancing this Friday night. So do all of those things for a good cause. Our beloved, small but mighty Bushwick Food Co-Op suffered a fire on the 3rd of July and has been closed since the burn. Go support their reopening so they can once again support our community with food and love. There will be a DJ and aerialists and food and prizes and sweaty summertime fun. Get your tickets here now. 6-11pm at The Muse, 350 Moffat St.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Saturday
Bonobo presents Outlier at the Brooklyn Mirage in Bushwick
What came first, the pants brand or the artist? Does it really matter? Nope, it doesn’t. Go dance your pants off at the Mirage this Saturday to Bonobo. He’ll be spinning tunes all night while you dance under the stars and among the lights and magical sounds held within this multi-level outdoor Mecca of a party venue. He’ll be sharing the stage with Tourist, J-E-T-S, Quantic, and Catching Flies, and also sharing all of the love you have in that summertime heart of yours. get tickets here now. 140 Stewart Ave.
Bae Watch Pool Party at House of Yes in Bushwick
If you haven’t taken my NYC public pool guide seriously, there is still time. Still intimidated? Then go get in an unregulated inflateable pool of sweaty, horny Brooklynites at House of Yes this Sunday. I’m serious, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this and yes there will be chlorine. They’re filling the courtyard with a huge inflatable pool so blow up your end of summer party scene Saturday night. DJs, dancing, select nudity. Free with RSVP AND COSTUME before 11pm. Reserve a spot here NOW. This party will fill up, just like the pool and your overflowing heart, you sexy dreamer you. 10pm-4am, 2 Wyckoff Ave.
Beck, Spoon and Cage the Elephant at Forest Hills Stadium
Get outside and see live music, it’s summertime and that’s what you were made to do. Go do it this Saturday. I don’t have anything more to say – just don’t be a loser, baby. Tickets still available here. See you there.
Archestratus Summer Sale in Greenpoint
Your favorite cookbookstore is having a summer sale, and you need to be there. Because it’s happening this weekend but if you go Saturday, you’ll also get to win a free arancini ball with the purchase of your beer or wine. Go. Sip. Win. Eat. Buy. Info here, 160 Huron St.
Backyard BBQ at Nowadays in Ridgewood
Because all of those friends you have with backyards and grills and promises of cookouts “every day this summer!” suddenly become scarce once summer hits, Nowadays says fuck those friends. You deserve to have your hotdogs and beers and music and open-air without them. Come to their backyard BBQ this Saturday for bocce ball and ping pong, cold drinks, groovy tunes, Italian hot dogs (??) and rotating BBQ fare (???) and Republic of Booza ice cream (!!!!). It starts at noon and goes, if you want, until Mister Sunday greets you the next day. Info here. 56-06 Cooper Ave.
PS1 Summer Warm-Up, Long Island City
This LIC summertime party institution also has a permanent residency on my weekend guide, from now through labor day; meaning there are onlye THREE WARM-UP’S LEFT! So I recommend checking the schedule and either choosing based on the tunes or your own availability (this is not a “oh I have a few hours, I’ll check it out” kind of affair. it will take all of your saturday and at least 3/4 of the mental space of your Sunday. And it will all be worth it.) tickets here. I’m already heatin’ up.Oh and don’t forget to check out the tent of secrets, located in the back of the arboretum in the sculpture garden.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Sunday
The 9th Annual Kimchipalooza at Arrogant Swine in Bushwick
There will be a lot of bad things put into your body this weekend. I mean, I’m just assuming here and drawing from past experiences, last weekend. Help to fight off those toxins and eat away your sins with something wholesome and funky and fermented, too. It’s Kimchipalooza at Arrogant Swine, which means you will be eating free kimchi while you watch people suffer through as much of Mama O’s super spicy kimchi as they can consume in 3 minutes. Wash it all down with some authentic Carolina barbecue and beers (for purchase!) and also there will be art, and djs, because this is Brooklyn. Info here, 1-8pm. 173 Morgan Ave.
The Macauley Culkin Show at the Bell House in Gowanus
If you build it, they will come. And if you name it after a former child actor, he will show up to say, hey, joke’s on you bud. Yep, Kevin Macallister will be making an unlikely appearance at his namesake comedy show at the Bell House this Sunday. This annual summer comedy festival, “The Macauley Culkin Show” just got a hell of a lot funnier as Macauley Culkin will basically be turning this into a roast. I think you should get tickets, and quickly, right here. Doors at 7:30pm, show starts at 8. 149 7th St.
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