it’s mid-march guys. the vernal equinox is knocking at the proverbial door and their is 2 feet of non-proverbial snow on the ground and our eyes are freezing out of our heads every time we venture out in search of a cup of coffee and a sign of human life. it’s so bad out that i’m hurting for a hyperbole strong enough to explain our plight and between you and me, exaggeration rarely escapes me.
we weren’t made for this, not now. not us. not like this. so let the rest of them sit with their feet in the snow and smiles frozen on their faces as they shovel viscid eggs into their mouths and text their friends “finally got a spot at five leaves!” proudly as they wonder why the rubbery substance is refused entry into their esophaguses. esophagi. esophaguise.
no way, not us. the fighters, the dreamers. the ones with hearts so strong, no cold wind can penetrate. it’s like neoprene, the shit we’re made of. the wind just gets in there and bounces around until it’s something warm, something more. and it spreads and becomes part of us, and then without hesitation, we dive in.
(right this way).
THURSDAY
Abducted: Sci Fi party with Defected Records at House of Yes, Bushwick.
what more is life than moments between moments in ibiza? make those moments a bit more iberian this thursday as defected records takes over house of yes with sam divine, just before occupying her residency in the island of paradise all season, will be moving and grooving us all night long. come get a taste of ecstasy that will keep you rolling until you blindly board a flight east. she’ll be joined by frankie rizardo, and the two together will put you in a state of mind to be beamed up and never come back down. this event will be unforgettable and free before 11pm. all info here, 2 wyckoff ave, at the house of yes, where they don’t take no for an answer.
A Drinking Game NYC Presents Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Littlefield, Gowanus
this film planted a seed in my head that now has roots and limbs and is somehow bearing fruit year-round. and that seed was an idea that we shouldn’t have to do stupid shit we don’t want to just because society says so. call me a rebel without a cause, but i’ll raise you a “some of us were meant for something more.” and also, a healthy and very poignant “suck it, bitch.” so cheers to this film. renew your vows to allegiance of this belief with the people at a drinking game nyc, who create rad and interactive drinking events surrounding epic films such as this. 630-830pm, all info here. $10 gets you in and toasting and toasted. it all happens at littlefield, of course. 622 degraw st.
Handmade CousCous at the Museum of Food and Drink, Williamsburg.
first things first. what is cous cous exactly? well of course, i’m not going to divulge all of the secrets of that fluffy rice-meets-pasta-meets-cauliflowerish-meets-styrofoambutnotinabadway substance. go and get all the answers to the questions you were afraid to ask, from an inarguable expert in the substance. einat admony of balaboosta and taim walks you (and tastes you) through it. plus make, eat, and fucking chill at this amazing museum you didn’t realize was right here in the heart of williamsburg. 630-8 with a reception to follow with broooklyn brewery beer and brookln winery wine. tickets are $30 and are available right here, 62 bayard st.
Blingistan Pop-Up Art Show at the World Money Gallery, Bushwick.
as we are all moved to show support, solidarity, and #revelwithacause for so many things that desperately need our attention these days, don’t lose sight of a grass roots approach to supporting the small scale artists, creators, dreamers and believers that make us strong. blingistan, the fashion and jewelry line with a strong fearless voice out of afghanistan brings hope and so so much passion into a landscape and culture that we only hear fear and helplessness from. her pop-up art show debuts tonight, with a reception worthy of so much reception at the world money gallery in bushwick. in her words, “open bar, open mind, open legs”. the only thing that will be closed off are any other plans you have made between 830 and midnight. it’s free of course, all info here, go support this and #revelwithacause at 41 montrose ave.
FRIDAY
Love is a Fist and the Pie Tasters at Webster Hall, in the East Village.
you got a hankerin for a taste of something different this st patty’s day? a bit of that lover-and-fighter appeal to start but instead of ending in a pile of predictable green vomit it’s just gives you a taste of something sweet, fruity, and fresh? i have all the answers in your reason to cross the river this weekend. love is a fist, a high-energy hip-hop, ska-punk band (that is every bit as refreshing as that sounds) opens for the pie tasters, beloved ska sweethearts who have continued to gain traction in our insatiable desire to fresh, danceable big-band inspiration. this is the answer for all of the non-third-ave pub fights you don’t want to get into tonight. all info here, 7pm. at 125 E 11th st.
Hernan Cattaneo at Output, Williamsburg.
ok, ok. people can sometimes point to output as the beginning of the end… a large-scale club space in williamsburg? right beside that hotel and that record label turned boutique turned coffee shop turned lounge? that’s right across from the matcha shop? yes, the proof is in the pudding but let’s put hate where hate is do. output has the best sound system in the city (this is something no one can deny. except LCD.) and brings in some of the best talent you can experience outside of berlin. case in point – hernan canttaneo brings his world-renowned australian balance series to this brooklyn mainstay friday night to provide some dope beats to counteract your regularly scheduled st patricks day bullshit. this is where you need to be. tickets. $20, available right here. 10m-6am, 4 wythe ave.
Grand Street Pub Crawl, on or around Grand Street, Williamsurg.
it’s st patty’s day! they say. we want to get sloppy on a pub crawl! i heard. ok, ok, ok. then sloppy pub crawl you shall have, my greedy little leprechaun friends. but you’ll do it my way, via my favorite street, and you’ll have a grand and very non-sneakily leprechauny way of doing it. because you know… my space, my rules. it’s the grand street st patricks day pub crawl! all your friends will be there, ducking in and out and back in again to all your favorite haunts including (but sure as fuck not limited to) second chance saloon! bar mcondo! bushwick country club! lp & harmony! and oh so many more. free hot dogs and pizza, prizes and love baed on merit. all info here, 5-9pm.
for your normally scheduled pseudo-leprechaun hijinx, please visit my side-side-hustle, murray hill, i’m trying (just like everyone else here, but they’ll never admit it).
Pizza Happy Hour at 21 Greenpoint, in Greenpoint.
guys guys guys… what are we doing with our lives? no, not rhetorical, i mean for real- what.are.we.doing.with.our.lives? putting up with the remains that have been left to us since carmine’s closed? doing the old fold-and-shove dance over-the-counter at a by-the-slice just to give us a solid alcohol-proof lining on weekends (and weeknights?). well. well well well. 21 greenpoint, former riverstyx turned all-night purveyor of bill murray sightings has something else in mind for you, who deserves better. a $15 star-shaped stuffed-crust pizza offered during the week from 6-8pm, plus cheap wine. gothamist broke the story, greenpointers pin-pointed it, and then i ate the shit out of it. go, go, go. you need no more info, the address is the name, if you’re still confused then you deserve to keep eating round shaped pizza goodbye.
SATURDAY
Winter’s Grind at Arrogant Swine, Bushwick.
GAH i hate it when i read things that i possibly couldn’t write better… i also absolutely don’t hate it. please read about this event, written by its witty and feisty creators: To combine two of life’s greatest pleasures, the comrades-in-consumption are once again joining forces for the third edition of Winter’s Grind at the Arrogant Swine. Tyson Ho’s Bushwick-based BBQ joint. Ho and his fellow chef friends will be hand-cranking all-you-can-eat sausages. On the all-you-can-drink side, Cuzme and Bernstein have hand-selected 10 of the city’s top homebrewers to make dark and delightful beers. featuring none other than keg and lantern, other half, strong rope, greenpoint beer and ale and so so many others.
i’ll sum up, if i may, here. it’s a a sausage party of a different color, featuring rare brews you won’t find anywhere else. $40, tickets here, 1-4pm, 173 morgan ave at arrogant swine, they’ll give you something to brag about.™
LoftOpera presents Rossini’s Otello at Lightspace Studios in Bushwick.
high rents and demand lead us all to live grandiose lives in bite sized spaces. let’s celebrate it, eh? loftopera takes the opera out of the opera house and into our spaces. found and rudimentary, listen to the acoustics reverberating off of exposed ceilings and unfinished walks and let the passion pour out sanctimoniously just as the drunken fights or love you make with your lover often do. we’ve been waiting since their epic performance of macbeth left us breathless, so come see rossinis otello, which hasn’t been fully performed in this town in 40 years. be a part of it at the lightspace studios in bushwick for an intimate affair of truly heartbreaking and earth-shattering proportions in the only way an opera this intimate can be. tickets $30 (which is an insane steal for this talent), available here. the show runs through the 27th, all info here. 1115 flushing ave. bet you’ll like it better than pirates of penance.
SUNDAY
(stay tuned!)
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