Yeah, I get it. The very idea of the subway in this heat makes you cringe. But let’s face it – this underground sauna of rat feces and degenerate piss and “unexpected delays” gets us places. Lots of places. And helps us avoid drunk driving, all the time! Bottom line is, it gets us going.
And you know what else gets you going? Your weekend guide does. Plus, it’s respectfully devoid of rat feces and degenerate piss, and you can even use it when you’ve been drinking. So let me get you going.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Thursday
Dirty Dancing in the Park and Michelin Star Mexican in Long Island City
Expand your basic idea of dinner and a movie tonight in Long Island City. They’ll be showing Dirty Dancing on the waterfront, so head to Casa Enrique before the show for tacos and Michelin-star Mexican food in a perfectly unpretentious little spot off of Jackson Ave. Make a reservation here now. Film starts at sunset. Look for me there, I’ll be the one with the wine bota.
Soulive for Brooklyn Bowl’s 10th Birthday, in Williamsburg
It’s been 10 years since Brooklyn Bowl graced the streets of Williamsburg with its inimitable combination of bowling, live music, fried chicken, good beers, wild dance parties, and that Ask Zandaar ATM… and tonight, we celebrate this anniversary AND Soulive’s 20th birthday with everyone’s favorite funky Thursday night dance party, Bowlive. Come get down all night Thursday night and celebrate this space and happening that we hope has enough staying power to keep the ship afloat in an increasingly diminishing-in-cool Williamsburg. Tickets available here now. 61 Wythe Ave.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Friday
British Summertime Feast at Archestratus in Greenpoint
British food gets a bad rep. Come on, how can a land that brought us Joy Division and Radiohead, corgi’s, and an unnatural obsession with the royal family have such historically terrible cuisine? Come to Archestratus this Friday night to change your mind. This 4-course collaborative dinner between chef Rob Brownell and Burlap & Barrel spices will be inspired by 4 iconic British cookbooks, all available for purchase at the event, because yes this dinner takes place within a cookbook store. Tickets are $45; beer and wine available for purchase at the event. Get your tickets here now. 7-9pm, 160 Huron St
Happily Ever After Murder Mystery by Rubulad, location TBA
Rubulad has been throwing the wildest and most creative underground parties in Brooklyn for nearly a decade and this Friday they’re bringing you behind the curtain and into the madness that they’ll be orchestrating within a masked murder mystery. You’ll be given a role, a mask, instructions on how to dress and text message updates on what will be happening in each scene. It’s like Sleep No More but $90 cheaper and way less predictable. Go, get your roleplay on. Tickets $15 available here. It’s happening at 10:30pm, location TBD.
DIY Face Toners at Earth Speak in Downtown Brooklyn
Tone down and cool off this Friday night and learn a skill that will save you from that dreaded $60 charge and consequential ribbon-dancer of a receipt at CVS. Learn to make your own face toners at Earth Speaks this Friday night! For $30 you’ll get a comprehensive class, study reference sheet, and two 2-oz bottles of custom made toners (a $50 value!). Space is limited so sign up here now. 6-8pm, 139 Atlantic Ave.
The Goodbye Party in Boscoe Barles Backyard in Williamsburg
Living in this city is not easy. It sucks you in then spits you out and thus, the friends you had when you first moved here are likely not the ones you have now. Saying goodbye to people leaving New York is almost as common as cab drivers yelling at other cab drivers, or New Yorkers arguing over the best by-the-slice in their neighborhood. Come to this musical, pizza party, and garden goodbye celebration for Charlie O’Leary. Don’t know Charlie? It doesn’t matter- this intricate theatrical portrayal of the last hoorah here in this city is one that we can all take and feel personally. Tickets are $12 (suggested donation) More info here. The goodbye’s start at 8pm, 290 N. 6th St.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Saturday
Spoons, Toons, and Booze at Nitehawk Cinema in Williamsburg
Too hot to go to a baseball game, or to get dressed in general? Roll over in your jammies to Nitehawk Saturday morning for a special sporty version of Spoons, Tunes and Booze. They’ll be showing tons of sport-themed tunes, plus will have an all-you-can-eat cereal bar, cereal-themed cocktails, contests, and more. Just trust me, it’s way way better than Saturday morning Seamless and Netflix. Tickets and info here. 11:15am-1pm, 136 Metropolitan Ave.
Meowmania Cat Party at Rubulad in Bushwick
To have a cat in this city is something sacred. It’s that little being that is there waiting in your apartment to help you through whatever hell you’ve been thrown each day. They make us laugh and are there when we cry and retain an admirable nonchalance when we sneeze. In honor of all the cats we’ve loved (#bearwithme) , come to this cat celebration and fundraiser for some of our amazing local shelters! The third annual Meowmania is happening this Saturday and will be bringing all of the love and friskiness from your favorite furry friends to Rubulad. There will be adoptable kittens, local vegan food, cat merch, a photo booth, a cat costume contest and more. All proceeds go to Whiskers-a-go-go, North Brooklyn Cats, and Bushwick Street Cats. Tickets and info here, 2-6pm.
Left Bank Summer Fete at Pete’s Candy Store and Muchmore’s in Williamsburg
Two stages, 20+ bands, and a full day of festivities brought to you by Left Bank Magazine, your go-to sources for meticulously curated underground art and music. So you know this lineup is everything you want to be hearing, and so Pete’s Candy Store and Muchmore’s is where you will be hearing it. Your $20 gets you into both places all day, noon-midnight. Get yours and see the full lineup here now.
Read-A-Palooza Book Drive and Festival at Word Books in Greenpoint
Jump-start your summer reading at the best little bookstore in Brooklyn this Saturday, They’ll be holding Read-A-Palooza, and all-day celebration of books and words and reading. They’ll have a tie-dye workshop (cover up those running-to-catch-the-G coffee stains!), yoga in Spanish (this just sounds hilarious) a jewelry-making workshop and much more. Plus, books! Bring yours to donate for their annual book drive. Info here, 10am-4pm, 126 Franklin St.
Oceana Galactica at House of Yes in Bushwick
Dive deep into the ocean and immerse yourself in an underwater galaxy of deep blue seduction and mystery. Saturday’s party at House of Yes will encourage you to go deep, to transcend the moral boundaries of land-living, to be one with the oceanic and galactic energies. Come dressed in costume to get in free and before 11pm – all space dolphins, intergalactic mermaids, celestial scuba divers, jellyfish and aliens welcome. Sonic sound waves all night by Tedd Patterson and live performance by Steven Klavier. Tickets, RSVP, and info here. 10pm-4am, 2 Wyckoff Ave.
Game of Thrones Brunch at Radegast in Williamsburg
Game of Thrones may have ended, but you can still pretend to be a part of it AND have all of those debates you still want to be having about the ending, and the beginning, and all of those hours in between, this Saturday at Radegast, the most Game of Thrones-y place in town! Their GOT Immersive banquet experience will feature a very medieval buffet, knights and tavern witches, medieval music and a jester. Costumes encouraged. Get your ticket here and ride your dragon/bicycle there. Or whatever. Tickets, $75 available here. 113 N. 3rd St.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Sunday
Bikini Sundae Pool Party at House of Yes in Bushwick
This is the pool party you want to be at. House of Yes invites you to strip down and dive into their pop-up pool, their rooftop jacuzzi, and all over their indoor and outdoor dance floors this Sunday, with ice cream and booze too. Come, dance, splash in your speedo. Arrive early and #revelwithacause as you party down the sidewalks of Bushwick, helping LitterRally keep the streets clean. All info here. The party is free, just like you and me. 2 Wyckoff Ave.
Sunday Supper at North Brooklyn Farms in Williamsburg
If you haven’t heard already, our beloved North Brooklyn Farms will be closing after this season, inevitably cinched out by the corporate park and gentrification surrounding it. And that means we need to go as often as possible, such as this Sunday for their weekly Sunday Suppers. A 5-course lant-based meal, most of which is grown in the garden, prepared by local chefs and served ot you under the moonlight upon big communal tables to create one of those magical nights that can only happen in Brooklyn. Trust me, go. Tickets are $100. Info here.
The Giglio Festival in South Williamsburg
Gentrification has weighed heavy on all of our shoulders and inevitably, our bank accounts. However, never has it revealed such a painfully physical burden than the fact that this year was the first in 50 that the Giglio Festival has been unable to find willing, able bodies and shoulders to help hoist and carry the 4-ton Giglio sculpture down the street in this celebration of heritage and tradition… because they’ve all been pushed out of the neighborhood. They fortunately overcame the lack of support this year and thus we should all go, and celebrate and commemorate this event on Sunday (or, all week really). Sunday is Giglio Sunday but the full list of events is available here. 275 N. 8th St.
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