Hey Brooklyn. Escape to your weekend, now. I’ve found all the best ways to do it in your weekend guide. Read on, it gets so much better from here.
Things to Do in Brooklyn on Thursday
Botanical Dyeing Workshop at Anima Mundi in Greenpoint
Don’t dingy whites make you want to just dye? Ugh, me too. Turn them into something better, brighter, renewed, refreshed, and shiboriest. Anima Mundi hosts a natural dying workshop so you can breathe new life into all of those yellowed whites, and maybe not give up just yet on those gym undies and sheets of past love lives. It’s happening Thursday night. Tickets and info here. 7-9pm, 31 Noble St.
Gnocchi Making Class and Dinner at Archestratus in Greenpoint
Homemade pasta can be intimidating, if you don’t know what you’re doing. Just ask the amazing team of Tecate-fueled tagliatelli-makers at Le Fanfare. But gnocchi? Now that’s something you can do just with your hands, a fork, and a little expert training. Come tonight to Archestratus to learn how to make these magic little dumplings with cookbook author and food stylist Victoria Granof, who will teach you a traditional potato recipe, swiss chard gnocchi, and a simple marinara sauce, then eat your creations with a glass of wine at a cozy community dinner. Tickets, $75, are (always) going fast, so get yours here now. 6:30-9pm, at 160 Huron St.
Mugwump Seeker at the Lot Radio in Greenpoint
It’s Springtime in Brooklyn so why party inside when you can dance under the moonlight in a small triangular oasis of land-turned-radio-station? The Lot radio welcomes Mugwump Seeker and invites him once again to ignore all the rules and pull out all the stops, and wants you there along with the lawn flamingos to bring it all to life Thursday night. It’s RadioCrash live and that means anything could happen. So make sure you happen to be there. Free, 10pm-midnight. Info here. 17 Nassau Ave.
Ask Me Another, Live! at the Bell House in Gowanus
Because keeping up with the news can be incredibly frustrating, this gameshow podcast makes it fun again. You know, like before we had an idiotic cheetoh as our president. Come see it live at the Bell House, and play along with the show and drink beers and feel like things are looking up. (they are, aren’t they?) Tickets $15 available here. 7-9pm, 149 7th St.
Things to Do in Brooklyn on Friday
The Other Art Fair at the Brooklyn Expo Center in Greenpoint
Still bummed you couldn’t get into the Frida exhibit before it leaves? Well keep your chin up and your eyebrow unfurrowed, because there is so much amazing, accessible art in this city just waiting to be discovered. And most of it will be under one roof in Greenpoint this weekend. The Other Art Fair will bring together local, emerging artists and invite you to be part of this thriving community. I know I can’t wait to explore the amazing photos of David Pexton and of course, take home a new green friend from the Tula truck. Come, immerse yourself and take home a piece that you will purchase directly from its creator and then try to grab a coveted seat on the Barge Bar and then remember that there are about 50 other bars in the area with sun-drenched seating options. Info here, it’s happening all weekend. 72 Noble Street at the Expo Center, expose yourself! #justkidding #metoo
Secret Brooklyn: Exclusive Tour of the Kingsland Wildflower Rooftop in Greenpoint
Greenpoint is the home of so many beautiful and also extremely unbecoming sites. This perhaps couldn’t be more juxtaposed than with this exclusive tour of a rooftop urban wildflower garden, right in the shadow of our beloved Shit Tits. Untapped Cities will take you there. Explore the Kingsland Wildflowers and learn about all of the beauty that has emerged in this area after the country’s largest ever oil spill. Then, come have a glass of tap water at my apartment. It’s fine, I promise. Tickets, $35, are going fast, available here. 7-9pm, meet at 520 Kingsland Ave.
Ruffage Dinner with Abra Berens at Archestratus in Greenpoint
So maybe you don’t always make the best food decisions in this town. Because, how can you really when we have truly the best conglomeration of restaurants in the entire world? Make up for it tonight at the Ruffage dinner at Archestratus Friday night featuring veggies ranging from raw to caramelized, and everything in between. Chef, author, and farmer Abra Berens will show you veggies like you’ve never seen them before, and then let you eat them, together. Tickets, $50 available here. 7-9pm, 160 Huron St.
Dance Yourself Clean at Baby’s All Right in Williamsburg
Come dance yourself clean, then dirty, then clean again and into a frenzied state where hygiene is relative and all you believe in is that tremory backbeat and Daft Punk is playing at your house. Yeah. This will be happening, all night, at Baby’s All Right Friday night as they bring you this first Friday’s dance party series inspired by LCD Soundsystem and all of the music that has inspired them and thus, all of us. Come. This is where you want to be dancing Friday night. Tickets, $10 available here. 11pm-4am, 146 Broadway.
Cirque du Soleil LUZIA in Flushing Meadows, Queens
Why should you still go see Cirque du Soleil when we have Company XIV and House of Yes and so many other amazing, acrobatic expressions in this town? Well, because it’s still fucking amazing. And this iteration is a celebration of Mexican life, color, and culture, and it’s coming for a limited time to Queens. Luzia is a show that you don’t want to miss. Tickets available here, catch a game and all of the amazing food and beer at Citifield before you go.
Things to Do in Brooklyn on Saturday
The 145th Annual Kentucky Derby, everywhere.
Read my guide here to find out where to watch the Derby are in Brooklyn.
May the 4th Party at Coney Island Brewery
Ok dorks, today is your day. The one day it’s kind of cool to be in to Star Wars. So go. drink some beers, dweeb out with your peers, have chewbacca-sounds competitions. I don’t know what you people do, but at least I know the best place to do it. At Coney Island Brewery. They’ll have some limited edition brews from a galaxy far far away. It’s all happening from 1-8pm. Info here, 1904 Surf Ave.
Domino Refinery History Walk at the Domino Sugar Factory
Come and experience the once-sweet factory that defines the North Brooklyn skyline before it became luxury apartment buildings and Baggu shops and other storefronts that only exist as a presence while our beloved independent stores (like Whisk) are forced to close lest ingest 40% rent increases. I’m not bitter about it or anything, it’s just that this is a not-so-sweet ending. Come on this tour of the Domino refinery before it gets turned into something sad. Lick the walls, steak your claim, do whatever you want, while this still feels like our city. Reserve your spot here. 11am-12:15, 15 River Walk.
Make Pizza Drink Bubbly at Fornino in Greenpoint
We should celebrate living in the pizza capital of the world (outside of Italy) and celebrate with bubbly and by throwing dough dramatically into the air and then making something from it and eating it, together, at a magical little pizza spot in Greenpoint. Fornino is inviting you to learn from their expert Pizzeros and Head Chef Michael Ayoub, a man credited with starting the artisan pizza craze in this city. He’ll teach you his ways as you drink champagne and then eat your creations. Reserve your spot here now for $65. Event is from 3-5pm, 849 Manhattan Ave.
It’s Gonna Be May: A Boy Bands Party at Brooklyn Bowl in Williamsburg
Boy bands aren’t dead, they were only sleeping and hiding discreetly in the earbuds of that guy beside you having too much fun on the Stairmaster at the gym. And they’re backstreet-back at Brooklyn Bowl this Saturday night for their It’s Gonna Be May party. Don’t act like you hate it, just act like you love it. It’s more fun that way. Tickets here. 11pm-4am. 61 Wythe Ave.
Opening Day at the Brooklyn Barge in Williamsburg
That’s right folks The Frying Pan of Brooklyn will once again be stagnantly setting sail for the season. So plan on playing hooky and going mid-week, when you can sit and sip and enjoy douchebag-free. Because trust me, they’ll never be a spot for you and yours aboard on the weekend. The Brooklyn Barge opens this Saturday, see you there Tuesday. Info here. 3 Milton St.
Cinco de Mayo Silent Disco on a Boat
Why be quiet at a party on land when you can be quiet at a party on a boat in the east river? Why take tequila shots without hearing your friends shouting “AYAYAY!” in unison? Why not become worried when someone shots “Man overboard!!!” when you’re on a booze cruise? Well, because it’s a silent disco cruise baby, and you know what that means – I’m here to make fun of it. Disco is for music, for loudness, for laughing and talking over each other and then making out under each other. It’s about living and breathing and screaming and dancing. It will not be silenced. It will not go quietly. It will not die. So, yeah. There’s a silent disco happening at the Well. There are tickets available, but there will be no link here for you. There’s a time this event starts, but you won’t find that here either. The pier where you dock has an address. You have a smartphone.
Wondering when I’ll stop making fun of silent discos? Never. I’ll never stop making fun of them. On my tombstone, just put, “She just wanted to be heard at parties.” I’m fine with that. I’M FINE WITH THAT.
Things to Do in Brooklyn on Sunday
Make Zach Make You A Margarita at Bierocracy in LIC
Why? Because he’s been working all week on some very spicy, scientific tinctures and he’ll be mixing them with Espolon and lime and an extra bit of magic, all day long. So there’s nowhere else you should be drinking on Cinco de Mayo this year. Order a pitcher, it will last longer. Come party all day and all night at this amazing Czech-owned beer hall which for one day only will become a lively cantina… until they shut the place down for a private staff viewing of Game of Thrones, which means I’m one week closer to getting paid for betting on Wheelchair Kid taking the iron throne. Or, whatever. Info here. 12-23 Jackson Ave.
Cinco de Mayo Rooftop Party at Our Wicked Lady
My favorite romantic spot in Bushwick brings all of the magic, mayhem, and margaritas of Cinco de Mayo onto the roof for your enjoyment this Sunday. Party all day with DJ Wig Doc and DJ Tenosh of Noche Romantica, dig into some amazing tacos by Fred Hua and Nha Minh, indulge in Corralejo margaritas, and maybe even win a bike! And if you think that sounds random, then you’ve never been to Mexico City, which is now competing against Amsterdam for most bike-friendly cities. Plus, if you’re one of those Game of Thrones white-watchers, they’re having a rooftop viewing party later for that too. Info here. 2-9pm, 153 Morgan Ave.
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