The Weekend Guide | 28-3 March 2019

Hey Brooklyn. It looks like the bright light of your weekend lighting up the tunnel and barreling in at full speed. This train will take you through a noble, potable fight for grandma’s everywhere, a trip to the Alps via Greenpoint, a very intentional way to get the pizza sweats, and cutting right to the conversational chase and through the haze of shitty beers. It’s all happening, now, in your weekend guide.

Stand clear of the closing doors please. Let’s do this thing.

THURSDAY

Rosemary’s Greenpoint Tavern closes tonight in Williamsburg

If you haven’t noticed, our dive bars and disappearing and being replaced by bright, pretty, and way more expensive cocktail bars and bistros. And that fucking sucks. Pay homage for the last time to Rosemary’s tonight, that charming little dive that stands out on Bedford Ave for not sucking and not being a Dunking Donuts. The bartender and owner Rosemary, now 86, has been working there since she was 20. They’ve hold out temptation from multiple offers over the years, but now that RedSky Captial has purchased nearly every other building on the block, the structural integrity would not be maintained for the wood building nor safe for Rosemary, who lives upstairs. So thanks, RedSky Capital. Thank you. Go tonight, for the last time, to “Everybody’s Bar Everyday”. 188 Bedford Ave.

Learn Fondue at Le Fond in Greenpoint

It’s the last day of February which is such good news for our general dispositions. Hold onto one of the coziest things about Winter one last time tonight at Le Fond in Greenpoint. They’ll be hosting a fondue workshop and tasting Thursday night so go and pretend you’re in Switzerland. Not that Greenpoint isn’t cool or anytihng, but you get it, Tickets, $20 available here. It’s happening from 6:30-8:30 at 105 Norman Ave.

Eggplant Parm Dinner at Archestratus in Greenpoint

Tucked in the back of a cookbook shop in Greenpoint you’ll find one of Brooklyn’s best-kept secrets. Archestratus is serving some of the best, homiest, and cookbook-worthy recipes in the back of her shop on Huron street and Thursday she’ll be serving up Eggplant parmesan and it isn’t something you want to miss. Tickets, $30 include a big Winter salad, a slab of parm, and something sweet. Beer and wine available for purchase. Get your ticket here now, they’re going like hotcakes hot eggplants. 160 Huron St.

FRIDAY

Last Weekend for Grand Restaurant Week

Don’t let the grandest restaurant week pass you by. Grand Street Restaurant Week is celebrating its 6th anniversary as this micro-community’s most exclusive food celebration. View participating restaurants and menus here and make a reservation ASAP.

House of Paradise at House of Yes in Bushwick

Just stop it already with your Fire Fest comparisons. Because I have no doubt that anything House of Yes is supporting in will be flawless fun and not a fucking hoax. Bring all of your island energy into the always warm and welcoming house in Bushwick to celebrate Vujaday Festival on the island of Barbados. Come dressed in your jungly finest and dance all night to djs Lee Reynolds, Tara Brooks, and Adisyn and be surrounded by acrobats and aerialists and all your future lovers. Free before 11pm with an RSVP, after that tickets are available here. 2 Wyckoff Ave.

Dance Yrself Clean at Baby’s All Right in Williamsburg

This is the dance party you want to shake your hips at this weekend. Raves are great, but how much are you actually moving in a warehouse full of people bumping into each other? This (monthly!) indie alt pop dance party will have you moving and grooving to music inspired by LCD Soundsystem so go dance yrself clean and then dirty again and into a state where hygiene is relative and all that matters is you and me.  Tickets are $10 available here. Party starts at 11pm at 146 Broadway.

SATURDAY

Get the Pizza Sweats at Roberta’s in BushwicK

If there are two things New Yorker’s can agree on it’s that we have the best damn pizza in the entire world and that we all need to relax a little more. Come agree on both of these things this Saturday at Roberta’s. Hot Box mobile sauna has parked itself in their backyard, so you’ll have something to do while you wait for your pizza. Or, you’ll have something to eat while you wait for your schvitz. Or, just do both at the same time, naked. Book a spot here fast, because well… this is just so hot right now. 261 Moore St.

Brooklyn Reserve: Wine, Beer, and Larder at the Bell House in Gowanus

Come experience all the best the borough has to offer at the Bell House this Saturday. It’s a food, beer, and wine fest featuring over 30 local restaurants and purveyors plus tons of breweries and wineries. And tickets are only $15 which is completely unheard of, if you’ve ever been to any festival in this town. And expect this one to be much more tastefully done (read: no folding tables selling bejeweled tshirts that say “Wine a bit, you’ll feel better!) Early bird tickets are selling fast, get yours here now then get there from 1pm-5pm. 149 7th St. at the Bell House, be there with bells on. 

NYC Beer Week Finale at the Well in Bushwick

The end of beer week is sad, but the good news is all of those beers you discovered and rediscovered are all still here, waiting for you. So come celebrate and commiserate and inebriate for the end of a great week at the Well with their Beer Week Finale party. Gain exclusive access to unreleased brews and hear their live panel of brewing experts to learn enough sudsy facts to annoy the fuck out of your friends until next year. Sip some funky suds and learn about all the ways our pioneering urban breweries are still pushing the envelope. Free to attend, RSVP here, noon-11:30pm, panel starts at 5pm. 272 Meserole St. at the Well – be like Timmy, fall into the Well™

Mixxy Brunch at Bar Schimmi, or What Not Do Do This Saturday

Or hey, listen. If this event description sounds like then Saturday activity for you, then by all means go. But just know I’m making fun of you and that there’s probably nothing else here for you.  –

“#MixxyBrunch (21+) will be taking place Saturday, March 2nd 2019. The event will be taking place in both rooms but the main room will be rocking of course to get your dance on from 1PM-9 PM! NYC is always guaranteed to be a sold out event.The DJ lineup says it all if you’re looking for killer vibes and a lot of DOPE people in one building. With the surprises we have lined up, you’ll want to RSVP ASAP and GET THERE EARLY! It’s gonna be EPIC so Do Not Miss It… “

SUNDAY

Skip the Small Talk at Threes Brewing in Gowanus

The fact that events like this exist gives me hope for humanity. Skip the Small Talk is like a speed dating event that replaces all the get-to-know-you questions with deep topics. You know, the ones that you feel tugging at your soul when you wake up on a Sunday morning afternoon and realize that you didn’t have one meaningful conversation the night before. Come with a friend or alone (most people do) and prepare to connect with real humans. Oh, and it’s at the best brewery in the borough so you can ease those nerves with a beer or two. Tickets are $15 available here. Arrive at 5:30pm. 333 Douglass St. at Threes Brewing, I’ll try anything thrice!