Your weekend guide is here. Let’s do this.
THURSDAY
Never Again | A Night To Benefit Stoneman Douglas High School at the Bell House in Gowanus
There is absolutely nothing we can laugh about with the cowardice in politics, ignoring and denying the pleas and necessity of gun control. But what we can laugh about is the comedy performance to benefit Stoneman Douglas High School this Thursday night. Mike Birbiglia and a bunch of other comedians you’ve heard of will be pulling at your heartstrings and tickling your fancy on stage, with all proceeds going to help heal and energize the movement coming out of Stoneman High. Go. Revel with a cause. Let laughter help heal and give us courage to move forward. Tickets, $20 available here. Doors at 7, show at 7:30pm. 149 N 7th St.
Hot Dog Boyfriend at the Diamond in Greenpoint
Did you know that the FDA recommends that humans only consume 2 hot dogs a year??? Did you also know that FDA stands for Fun Deprivation Association and that they have never heard of 4th of July, cookouts, baseball games, or New York City and thus have no problem avoiding and preaching no more than 2 hotdogs a year? Yeah, fuck those guys. Bunch of weenies. Head to the Diamond this Thursday for their weekly International Pop-Up dinner as they host Hot Dog Boyfriend and bring you hot dogs, bratwurst, charcuterie, and of course all the best beers you’ve never heard of. Meet me in the gondola where we can share weiners and secrets. Info here, dinner starts at 7pm. 43 Franklin St. Hot Dog Boyfriend, not the wurst!
Opening Day at Citifield in Flushing, Queens
It’s opening day!! Let’s go Mets! Head to Citifield to check out their massive new beer garden, sample all 60 beers, eat all of the hot dogs, cheer on the Mets. Then call me and I will sing you a little song I made up in a dream once about the Mets. Get tickets here.
Mickey Avalon’s 11th Anniversary Tour at Wonder Bar
So maybe Mickey Avalon kind of represents everything we all hate about LA. But his music is catchy as fuck and also kind of makes fun of the mindless, soulless, helpless, and shameless lifestyle that exists on the other coast. Come to this stop of his 11th anniversary tour commemorating 11 years since that one album he put out Thursday at The Wonder Bar. Come make an appearance. See and be seen, because I hear you’re so rich, so pretty, and the best piece of ass in this whole damn city. (I just realized this is in Jersey. Which is fitting. You weren’t going to go anyway.)
FRIDAY
Despacio with James Murphy at the Knockdown Center in Maspeth
This is it guys. This is the reason we live in New York, the reason we pay astronomically high prices for rent, the reason we continue to justify the unreasonable discomfort of our everyday lives when compared to our non-city peers who have big houses and big cars and big savings account and who are doing that comfy-comf. Because they don’t get this magic. A 3-night experience dreamt up by James Murphy and 2manydjs (Brothers David and Stephen Dewaele), come to this dance party and sound experience at the Knockdown Center Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night. Or all 3 nights. Because this is why we live here. Get your ticket for $50 here now. 8pm-4am, 52-19 Flushing Ave.
Caravan Gitane at House of Yes in Bushwick
You don’t have to be religious in order to respect, observe, and experience the holiness of the season. Take yourself to church Friday night at House of Yes, our sanctuary of love and life and feeling, for Caravan Gitane and celebrate and observe the ritual practice of ahimsa (no harm). Come for a vegetarian dinner prepared by Chef Madhi and a musical performance by Origins as well as some magic elixirs by Blue Chalice, eye-opening palm reading by Charles Malasana, and all of the beauty, magic, and energy you always find at House of Yes. Come celebrate and radiate the beauty of this time of year. Tickets, $55 for the party, $100 for the party and dinner, are available here. 8pm-5am, 2 Wyckoff Ave.
Sideways + Wine Tasting at Videology in Williamsburg
This indie film was so unsuspectingly influential that it made merlot sales in the US plummet and never recover. Yeah, really. There’s a whole documentary about it. Come find out why you instinctively reject merlot, and also enjoy this amazing, smart, and relentless indie comedy while sipping some wines at Videology in Williamsburg. Tickets, $32 are available here and include 4 wine tastes. Show starts at 9pm. 308 Bedford Ave.
Dance Yourself Clean Party at Baby’s All Right in Williamsburg
If you can’t make it to Despacio, or maybe you are going Saturday and want a very light taste or the magic on Friday, head to the monthly Dance Yourself Clean party at Knitting Factory. All night they’ll spin tunes created by, inspired from, or just pitter-pattering around the sound and magic of LCD Soundsystem. So come, dance yrself clean, or dirty, or into a state where hygiene is irrelevant and time is relative and daft punk is playing at your house, your house. Tickets $10 available here. 146 Broadway.
SATURDAY
Dark 80s New Wave Dance Party at St. Vitus in NoGreePo
So I don’t know if you’ve heard but St. Vitus, everyone’s favorite metal bar that somehow you just can’t really find a reason to go to (other than you don’t like metal) has been throwing these Music for the Masses nights the last Saturday of every month, and really fucking killing it. It’s an 80s party that isn’t cheesy and will have you moving and grooving all night. Free with RSVP here and come to Le Fanfare before you go, let me make you a cocktail. Party starts at 11pm. 1120 Manhattan Ave.
Kegs and Eggs at Coney Island Brewery in Coney Island
The concept of a Kegs and Eggs party makes me shudder with the memories of bad frat tailgates and hangovers that start at 5pm and get chased away by beer bongs and bad vodka shots until graduation, basically. Coney Island is reinterpreting and improving upon this terrible college tradition this weekend and makes an Easter celebration for the masses, with a full brunch catered by Executive Chef Kate O’Donnell, Mermosas, on-site brewed beers and all the festivities of Coney Island opening for the season just a hop away. Tickets, $25 available here. 11am-1pm, 1904 Surf Ave.
Indigo Dyeing Workshop at the Bushwick Print Lab in Bushwick
Don’t dingy whites make you want to dye. ME. TOO. Come learn the ancient practice
of indigo dyeing at the Bushwick Print Lab this Saturday and leave with new and revamped textiles and the ability to turn any fabric into a deep indigo dream. Bring your own clothing to breathe fresh life into and use fabrics, tools, and dyes provided. Tickets $75 available HERE. 7-9pm at Bushwick Print Lab, 17-17 Troutman St.
Baseball Greats of Green-Wood Cemetery in Sunset Park
The Rub at the Bell House in Gowanus
What’s the rub? It’s friction, it’s movement. It’s energy and release. It’s that hot hot heat and it’s you and me and everyone we want to know on the dance floor at the Bell House, monthly. It’s the dance party you’ve been looking for, and it almost always sells out because this kind of party with this type of music and these people just aren’t happening anymore. See for yourself Saturday (but buy your ticket here NOW) at the bell house. Rub it out, shake it up, tear it down, feel alive. Tickets and info here. 149 7th St at the Bell House, be there with bells on.™
Foreplay and Fishnet Fetish at House of Yes in Bushwick
A lot of things tend to slip through the cracks over the weekend. Debit cards, shreds of dignity, chances of love, all can be lost. Head to House of Yes Saturday to capture some of those lost chances and cast your nets wide, long, slow, and all night at this fishnet fetish party. Which really isn’t limited to fishnet fetishes, but is open to whatever you’re in to. So come in your most seductive outfit and keep your mind, heart, and body on to new experiences. Just don’t let anything slip away. Tickets $20 available here. 10pm-4am, 2 Wyckoff Ave. #getnettygetnaughty
SUNDAY
It’s Easter and also April Fool’s Day. So go to church so you can tell your mom you went to church, or don’t go to church and tell your mom you went to church and don’t feel bad about lying about it because it’s April Fool’s Day.
Then I recommend you make this very festive Spanish egg dish and get a bottle of cava and get tipsy enough to make a fool out of yourself.
See you out there, Brooklyn.
<3L.
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