The Weekend Guide | 31-3 February 2019

The snow squall has sent us tumbling uncontrollably into a full polar vortex that we have no way of knowing which way is up or down or when it will end. Except, of course, with the terribly accurate weather apps on our personal devices. It will end Monday, folks, one day too late for Punxsutawney Phil but in time for all of us to know we will make it. We will. We all will.

Prove your strength in the fight against the vortex by fortifying your social life through all of the activities I’ve lined up for you this weekend. Because hey, safety in numbers, right? It’s not safety in Netflix at home. Go, get out. The entire city is waiting for you.

THURSDAY

Thirst Trap at House of Yes in Bushwick

Trying to navigate the comedy scene in this city is… well, laughable. Getting pulled into amateur hour in the East Village where you’ll be promised a free watered-down drink and then shamed if you try to leave, or standing outside of a cramped basement show that you overpaid for while your friend texts you from the back of the Knitting Factory where Aziz Ansari has just come on stage to a free show they accidentally stumbled into- it’s hard to find humor in it all. The lovely people behind House of Yes want to make you laugh again this Thursday night by hosting the first of the new comedy series by Anya Volz. It starts on the HoY stage before moving to Dekalb Stage, so catch it Thursday night. Tickets are only $10 and are available here. Show is 6:30-9pm, 2 Wyckoff Ave.

I Am A Filipino Dinner at Archestratus in Greenpoint

I’m only including this as a painful reminder to you. Yes, this event is sold out. Yes, it’s been sold out for weeks now. Yes, there is a way to prevent this pain from happening again. Follow Archestratus on Instagram, sign up for their emails, and put every event on your radar. Because tonight you could be cooking, learning, and eating Filipino Food and getting that new, ambitious cookbook signed by the author right in the heart of NoGreePo. Go, sign up now. There’s so much more to come over at 160 Huron St.

It’s the last day of “Dry” January

Ugh. That means all you’ll be hearing about tomorrow is how much fucking clarity all of the beings who are too weak to do “I just need to reevaluate my life” January have finally reached during this bleak month. Or maybe they just don’t want to admit their new year’s decisions led to a 30-day hangover they are just getting over. Regardless, you’re about to hear about how much better they’ve been feeling than you all fucking month, so let’s drink to not hearing about that tonight. Go to your local bar. Settle into a nice conversation with that guy who’s always there, or the bartender, or your lover, or sip silently and relish in it. Because I guarantee you you’ll appreciate the silence while you’re lying through your teeth, saying, “Hey bud! Good to have you back!” over shots of whisky tomorrow night.

*PS Total respect for those of you who did Dry January. That takes a hell of a lot of discipline. Just tip your bartenders a bit extra this month, eh?

FRIDAY

Dancing Queen Dreamland Roller Disco in Industry City

Who says disco is dead? And that roller skating is lame? Because that person sucks and is going to be really fucking bummed out when you and all of your friends have been ABBA-ing along on 4-wheels and with one heart, all night in Industry City Friday night. That’s right, there’s a fresh new roller rink that opened and has fallen under the (auspices?) of the Yelp monster because somehow people don’t realize roller skating can be dangerous, for idiots. Go and prove them wrong at the Dancing Queen Dreamland Roller Disco this Friday night. Costumes encouraged, details here, $20 (includes skates!) 7:30-10:30pm, 274 36th St.

Dinner and Dancing at Mission Chinese and Elsewhere in Bushwick

This weather makes us wish for some sort of one-stop shop of a nightlife experience, so we can get it all in and let it all out without trudging from one location to another and waiting for the G train or fighting over who’s getting the Lyft. How about some of the city’s best Chinese food in an inventive environment with your choice of 3 different after parties all under the same roof? It’s Mission Chinese within Elsewhere, and all of the music and dance magic held within its wondrous space. Make dinner reservations here, buy party tickets here. Warm up with Szechuan spices and then shake it all off on the dance floor. 599 Johnson Ave.

Flashback: Legends of Nightlife at House of Yes in Bushwick

It’s fucking freezing out. So there’s no better time to relish in our own ability to make heat than this Friday night. Warm up the dance floor and be part of this city’s beating heart at with this flashback dance party, welcoming Tedd Patterson carrying the torch of the legendary Sound Factory, and Eli Escobar bringing a fresh perspective to the classics. Send a big Fuck You to Winter time by showing how much more powerful you are than it’s unyielding grasp. Well, I mean, when contained in a smallish warehouse in Bushwick but whatever. But whatever, when our powers combine! Right? Come dressed as a 90s rave kid, or just go buy anything at Urban Outfitters right now. Tickets free bfore 11pm with RSVP or $30 right here. 10pm-4am, 2 Wyckoff Ave.

SATURDAY

Hot Glass, Cold Beer at the Brooklyn Glass Studio in Gowanus

Your mid-winter Saturday doesn’t have to blow, folks. Welcome to the trifecta of weekend events. Supporting local artists? Check! Learning a new skill? Check check! Adding to your unique collection of handmade Brooklyn items? Oh yeah, baby. PLUS bottomless beers. Brooklyn Glass Studio’s semi-annual fundraiser brings you into their studio for a hottt glass blowing demonstration. a fire performance, neon-creation workshop, free-flowing brews and you get to take home your hand-blown glass. tickets, $25, 7-11pm, bk glass studios, 142 13th st. get your (gl)ass there!!

Winter Warmer at the Expo Center in Greenpoint

Looking for something to do this Saturday that will help you forget the weather and explore all of the best of Brooklyn under one roof? Well baby, you’re getting warmer. Come expose yourself inside the glass box at the corner of Franklin and Noble and indulge in unlimited spiked drinks and mulled wines, guaranteed-to-warm-you-and-fatten-you-up comfort foods, and “just off the slopes” games which I interpret as WIDE-EYED INTENSE CONVERSATION WITH WHOEVER IS CLOSEST TO YOU. (that was a cocaine joke). This is your most multi-faceted fight against the polar vortex this weekend so go. Let’s fog up those windows, baby and get warm together. Tickets and info here, 1:30-4pm or 5:30-8pm, 72 Noble St.

It’s a Rave at Nowadays in Ridgewood

Let’s face it – here in Brooklyn, we’ve replaced the word “rave” with “warehouse party” or “underground dj set” or just “TBA, buy a ticket” but it’s all in the same spirit of the rave. So go to the party this weekend that’s not afraid to call it what it is, that doesn’t need any watering down or location-based mystery to distract you from what’s going to happen there. Dancing all night to too-loud music likely under the influence of something that’s going to make you feel it all, and each other, a little more. Your best bet this weekend is at Nowadays, featuring Texas’s Best (who knew?) Bill Converse along with Josh Cheon and Rachel Noon. Plus, those throwback, non-warehouse prices – just $15 a ticket, available here. 10pm-6am, RSVP for free or discounted entry. 56-06 Cooper Ave. And don’t forget. they have a backyard sauna, so go get your hygge on baby. 

Young Adult Friction Indie-Alt Dance Party at the Brooklyn Bazaar in Greenpoint

Your favorite weekend rub down, for those of us who are looking for the anti-rave. Young Adult Friction, the indie-alt dance party that gets you to dance yrself clean and then dirty again in Brooklyn and will be heating up the dancefloor at the Brooklyn Bazaar Saturday night night. Leave the hypnotic trance-dance warehouse scene behind in exchange for all of your favorite indie pop, alt rock, post punk, dance punk, and oldies, all night. Tickets and love are free. Dance all night and leave with a new lover. Info here, 11-3am, 150 Greenpoint Ave.

SUNDAY

The 2019 Superb Owl Party at House of Yes in Bushwick

Because everything they do immerses you into it fully and wholly, prepare to send yourself into the end zone, to climb every field goal post, to take the air out of all the naysayers, to dive into the puppy bowl water bowl, and to actually physically become a nacho. Yeah. For a real explanation and to claim your coveted $17 ticket, click here. It’s at happening at House of Yes, 2 Wyckoff Ave.

Super Bowl at the Moonlight Mile in Greenpoint

That party that isn’t aggressive, you can bring your own wings, at a bar that feels like Cheers even if it’s your first time there. Head to the Moonlight Mile in Greenpoint for that non-sports bar feel with a big pull down screen, likely a non-aggressive but excited crowd, a free jukebox to drown out the horrid halftime show and any post-game bitching and over 200 whiskeys to make you feel really fucking American, even if you aren’t really into the NFL. They’ll be open from 1pm-midnight, so just go. Hang. Get wings from Chicken Pelicana (and don’t feel un-American about it. They’re delicious) 200 Franklin St.

Super Bowl Party at Nowadays in Ridgewood

Really big screens, really cozy couches, really a lot of flavors of wings for you, and tons of beers on tap. Plus, they really do have a sauna in the back yard so if the game gets to intense, go sweat out your anxieties. Or if the game gets too boring and you finally admit you don’t actually like sports, go sweat it out with likeminded people in your skivvies. Party starts at 5:30pm. 56-06 Cooper Ave.

OR

Host a Pre-Oscars Viewing Party

Invite your non-sports friends over for a pre-Oscars Oscars party, and catch up on one or two of the top nominated films. Make fancy popcorns. Drink champagne. Do the exact opposite of most everyone else in this country. Set a timer for the halftime show at the puppy bowl though, because everyone needs a good kitten break. My favorites this year? Roma. BlacKKKlansmen, First Man. Check out all the nominations here.