The Weekend Guide | 4-7 January 2018

A special weekend guide for all you Dry January folks.
Hahahaha jk. This is for the wet January folks. The ones that don’t let a little snow storm or low-pressure from their “responsible” friends stop them. Nope. We’re the fighters. We’re the snowflakes in a sky of raindrops. We believe that life need not be based on limitations, that the joie de vivre is never something that those with a true appreciation will overindulge in, and besides we can stop anytime we want to and I’m writing our manifesto right now and also, all you dry januarians, what about your friendly neighborhood bartenders? How about supporting local businesses? HUH? FYI La Croix is not local. What about all that whiskey that is going bad as we speak? HUH?? You selfish, wasteful little babies who can’t seem to control their desire for over-indulgence.

Phew. Now that I got that out, I understand that a peek out the window might tempt you to stay inside this weekend, but I am here to tempt you to go, to convince you to get out there. I’m here to remind you that you wouldn’t live here if you weren’t tough and you didn’t desire more out of every minute of every day. Let’s go now, you little snowflake. No time to waste.

THURSDAY

My resolution is

…to support local businesses and do more than just bitch about gentrification.

GO TO MATCHLESS in Greenpoint

If you haven’t heard, another one of our oldest and best bars is being threatened to shutter its doors forever and to be turned in to the largely unnecessary lobby of some luxury apartment building that none of us can afford. The building has already been sold but at press time, the owners have not forced them out nor offered them a chance to renew their lease. So what do we do? We go embrace this establishment and drink our two-for-one beers and chain ourselves to the doors and we don’t let them take us alive. Or, sober. 557 Manhattan Ave. Bar Matchless, just make sure you bring a lighter! Bar Matchless, you’re not single, just haven’t found your match! (ok I’m still working through the slogan for these guys…)

To be bad, with the best intentions.

Good Room is FREE tonight, plus Happy Hour all night. in Greenpoint.

So maybe your Thursday night plans got canceled because of the snow. maybe your friends bailed on you because of the weather. Maybe you never even had plans but all this cyclone bomb talk makes you want to be dangerous. Head to Good Room tonight and let’s heat up the dance floor all night. It’s free before midnight plus happy hour all night. More info here. 98 Meserole Ave.

…to be more Spanish.

The Brooklyn Cider House, in Bushwick

Ok, maybe this is just my resolution, but let me tell you why it should be yours too. Because Spanish people know to embrace life and love and food and wine and each other. If you want a perfect example, head to the NEW Bushwick Cider House, a Basque-style cider house and restaurant. If you haven’t tried Basque cider, it’s basically everything all of the other ciders are trying to be. Bone dry, funky, and just slightly effervescent, it’s like you’re funniest friend who’s also a great dancer after a few glasses of champagne. And the food? The food in the Basque country is hearty and meaty and fishy and earthy and kind of like a warm hug from a really hott guy… satisfying ut leaves you wondering what else they have to offer. The prix fixe is only $45 per person, and they’ve requested to please allow two and a half hours for the full dinner experience. Oh that is just so so Spanish. Check it out tonight. Because in Brooklyn, the Cider House rules.™

FRIDAY

…to show more gratitude and wear more glitter.

Thank You For Everything Anniversary Party at House of Yes in Bushwick

It feels insane that House of Yes would be thanking us This now Brooklyn institution for parties, performances, life and love started actually 10 years ago, but has been occupying that fateful space on Wyckoff for 2 years. So let’s celebrate. Two days of parties with all of their resident djs, aerial performers, go-go dancers, drinks, and watermelon. Come dressed in your most festive and celebratory garb (required for entry!) and celebrate. Tickets, $20 available here. 10pm-4am, 2 Wyckoff Ave.

…to not let your weed habit keep you indoors.

Dark Side of the Rainbow at Videology in Williamsburg.

Get high and leave the house and head to Videology, in Williamsburg to see the Wizard of Oz and Dark Side of the Moon and drink beers slowly and talk to your friends about how fucking trippy it is. Tickets, $14 available here. 308 Bedford Ave.

…to dance more and pay less covers.

Above Rooftop Dance Party at the Mccarren Park Hotel in Williamsburg.

Wintertime shouldn’t claim our rooftops. Or our right to party on them. Head to the Mccarren Hotel for their Above party series Friday night for a free dance party on a cozy, enclosed rooftop. Heat up the dance floor. Test that greenhouse effect. Test that house music effect with Sleepy + Boo and special guests Mafia B, Dysco, and Z3n Master. More info here, 8pm-2am, 160 N 12th st.

SATURDAY

…to learn more about yourself, and your sign.

Mini Astrology Readings at Myths of Creation in Williamsburg

A new year means a new opportunity to get cosmically in touch with the energies around you and understand what your birth chart means and how best to navigate the stars and moons and months ahead. It’s a collaboration between Vibrant Soul Astrology and Myths of Creation, oh and like all of the energies of the universe and stuff. Info here. It’s happening from 2-6pm at Myths of Creation, 421 Graham Ave.

…to drink with a purpose.

Clueless Drinking Game and Performance at the Bell House in Gowanus

Watch your favorite film complete with a live reading and improv performance and very very strict rules about when to drink during the whole thing. Go. Revisit the classics. And find a better reason to drink. Tickets and info here, doors at 6:30, film starts at 7. 149 7th St. at the Bell House, I’ll be there with bells on!™

…to see more live music

Desert Sharks, Scam Avenue, Little Hustle play at Cape House in Bushwick

If you haven’t heard, Cape House has totally redone their concert hall downstairs and has an incredible lineup of bands from now well into the future. Saturday’s show brings Desert Sharks, Scam Avenue and Little Hustle to the stage and will have you dancing all night. Tickets, $10 available here. Show starts at 8pm. 2 Knickerbocker Ave.

…to find creative ways to lose weight.

Dance Off the Ham at the YMCA in Flatbush

Yep, it’s a Zumba class and community benefit for Flatbush YMCA Annual Campaign that helps families in need. Dance off your gluttony to help those who aren’t able to over-indulge. Guest instructor Chrislyn Lashington will be leading the class. Tickets, $20, available here. Get HAM while you get rid of your ham.

…to take time for nostalgia.

Party Like It’s 1999: Truly, Madly, Aussie Edition at Bell House in Gowanus

Let’s be serious… what was the 90s without Australian pop bands? Well, ok it was basically just everything but Savage Garden. But regardless, we wouldn’t be who we are today without them. (Although… every time I close my eyes I just see their faces) Celebrate the spirit of their breathless desperation and everything else 90s and danceable at the Bell House this Saturday. It’s FREE to get in. More info here, starts at 10pm. 149 7th St. at the Bell House, I’ll be there with bells on!™

SUNDAY

…to take your pants off more in public.

The No-Pants Subway Ride, Citywide

Why take your pants off at home when you can do it in public? With a bunch of other pantless strangers and pants-wearing gawkers and panting dogs and… I don’t know, pantone colors? I took that one too far. But whatever. Go take off your pants as part of Improv Everywhere. Get noticed for your nicest skivvies. Instructions are provided right here. You are to act completely normal. If prompted, respond with “I was a little uncomfortable,” or “I forgot them at home.” There will be an after-party at Bar 13. Pants check at the door. Meeting points in every borough. Go. Get out of those pants.

…to be nicer to your cat and to learn a new skill

Arm Knitting Workshop at Brooklyn Craft Company in Greenpoint.

Oh man, do you know about arm knitting?? It’s knitting with HUGE gauge yarn and your arms as needles and it’s perfect for making a cat bed for your cat. Head to to Brooklyn Craft Company Sunday to learn how to arm knit and then get to crafting. Your cat deserves it. He loves you. The class is $45, sign up right here. 11am-2pm, 165 Greenpoint Ave.