UNAFFORDABLE HOUSING COMING SOON.
Yeah it’s inevitable. It’s the rats that leave first, the rats I often long for. playing leap frog on calyer st, making me reroute in a panic while balancing 59 lbs of laundry. I miss them because when the rats go, you know what happens next. your favorite bodega becomes a duane reade. the polish restaurant you never ate at (but you would have) becomes a juicery. your favorite coffee shop becomes a coffee shop with better coffee, and cardboard coffee sleeves, which are for weenies. things are too clean. too unaffordable. and we find ourselves biking around and sneering at men with perfectly coiffed hair and thinsulate vests but also note where they live so we can swing by on big trash day and find cast-off pottery barn decor.
but it’s coming. so what do we do? sign-ups and directions for the coup de’etat to follow but in the mean time, we fight.
for our right.
to weekend.
get ready soldiers.
THURSDAY
Mezcal and the Taste of Oaxaca at the Museum of Food and Drink, Williamsburg.
if you’re going to be both the drunkest person at the cinco de mayo fiesta and the one with the biggest sombrero (if you’re not going to be these things, just stay home…) stealing all the attention, then also be the person who actually knows some shit about this cultural holiday. attend this event thursday to prepare to impress your amigos friday. a partnership with the mexican cultural instituate of new york, our amigos muy buenos at MOFAD bring a very festive mezcal and the taste of oaxaca event. kicking off their spring spirits series, come learn about the culture and history of mezcal while absorbing tasting notes and getting, well, quite tipsy. reception to follow. tickets, $60, can be purchased here. 630-8pm, 62 bayard st at the MoFAD. #getinthespirit
Rogue Nudes Sci-Fi Burlesque at Cape House, Bushwick.
ok it’s star wars day. may the fourth be with you, etc. i like it, i do. i think this is a nice thing. (if you are a nerd.) regardless, this holiday is based off of a good pun, and a film that has been damn significant to… well, to nerds. let’s make this shit cool again for the first time, ever by taking our clothes off and getting a bit naughty. it’s all happening at the cape house with rogue nudes, a burlesque show from a galaxy far far away. go to this, just, you know… keep your light saber in your pants, fellas. tickets, $12 available here. 2 knickerbocker ave at cape house. #getleiad
FRIDAY
it’s cinco de mayo! pickle yourself in lime and tequila at my favorite margarita spots in brooklyn – calexico, northern territory, zona rosa, rosarito fish shack, mesa coyoacan, gran electrica, habana outpost.
go, drink. VIVA.
and also, celebrate by doing all these things, just below.
JR JR plays Baby’s All Right, WIlliamsburg.
formerly Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr., this duo blew up because of the strength and uniqueness of their sound. obligated to shed their prefix due to one too many NASCAR fans showing up at their shows and beings ironically let down (no joke), they changed their name, but not their soul. With their unexpected, magnetic, and truly energizing blend of intense rhythm, clever lyrics and alluring melody, you’re hooked after one hit. don’t be the afterglow, be the high. go see these guys blow up that acoustically (and in every other way) magical backroom at baby’s allright. tickets here, doors at 7pm. 146 broadway at baby’s all right, where we all right, baby.
Cinco de Mayo Cooking Class at Spice Social Kitchen in South Slope.
want to up your #tacotuesday game and … let’s be honest, there’s a certain suburban nostlalgia that comes with ortel shells and ground beef and shredded lettuce, but think outside the box and come learn how to make handmade tortillas, guacamole, corn elotes (who knows!) (YOU will.) tacos, and churros. plus unlimited shaken margaritas. only TEN SPOTS left, so decide who your boyfriend is this week (hint, the one who speaks spanish is a good option.) and sign up, right here. $75. 123 parkside ave at the spice kitchen. tell them i sent you and receive… well, probably a few questions!
Cinco de Mayo at Brooklyn Bowl, Williamsburg.
this is everything you could ever want in a cinco de mayo celebration – festive dancing, $5 margarita happy hour, taco pizza, live music all night by Mexrrissey, a mexican-morrissey fusion performer who absolutely kills it, every time (but especially on cinco de mayo) and of course, the option to bowl. oh yeah and that ask zanabar atm. these are the things you deserve on cinco de mayo. come find them all at brooklyn bowl. tickets, $25 can be found here. happy hour 6-8pm, show starts at 9, party all night. 61 wythe ave at brooklyn bowl.
Overnight Sleep Concert + Party at Magick City, Greenpoint.
if that tequila has given you the urge to sleep with strangers, trust me when i say, i know you’re not alone. but also, there’s an event for that. the all night sleep at magick city… it’s a dance party followed by a dream concert in collab with perfect wave. BYO yoga mat or sleeping bag. and if you’re one of those furry-onesie ravers? man you’re set. tickets very limited, $20 available here. 7pm-11am, 37 box street at magick city… make magic, k?
SATURDAY
This is How You Derby in Brooklyn.
it’s derby day, baby. my second favorite holiday (to beaujolais day, of course) and such a beautiful culture of celebration. bourbon, hats, dancing, pastels, betting, horses. jockeys. all of the best things in life. CLICK RIGHT HERE to check out my guide on how to derby in brooklyn, complete with a tried-and-true julep recipe AND all the words to my old kentucky home, a few of my theories about betting, and of course, all of the best events in the borough. let me talk derby to you.
Kickoff to Obscura Day at City Reliquary, Williamsburg.
our community museum houses all of the richness that this little burrough was, is, and will be. step inside and be transported through an undestanding that the hustle of this city life has been the same since its inception… get lost for a while. saturday is the best time to do it as they open their doors and kick off obscura day (a celebration and festival from atlas obscura) and enjoy oslo coffee, brooklyn brews, shandy cocktails and dope new york trivia, all in their secret garden out back. go. $12 tickets here, 11am-1pm, 370 metropolitan ave.
Kairos Market at Threes Brewing, Gowanus.
craft fair + craft beer seems like a wholesome-yet-naughty way to spend a saturday afternoon. go meet some of our town’s best makers at the kairo’s market, popping in at threes brewing on saturday. it’s a festival for the arts and crafts and for the art of craft beer. get $1 off your beer if you make a purchase, and plus all the satisfaction of sitting and sipping and staring at your new aquirement and imagining what life you will breathe into it. it’s free and from noon-6pm. all info here (including a list of artists!), 333 douglass st at threes brewing, i’ll try anything thrice™
How Sad and Salt Cathedral at Sunnyvale
how sad, how you make me so happy? this band has that solid rock sound that refuses to let you listen passivelym or stagnantly. everything builds to this tremendous crescendo that leaves you breathless and wanting more. they share the stage with BiT darling salt cathedral, who, if you read this blog and you still haven’t seen them, then you don’t read this blog. GO. they are some of the best talen we have right now out of brooklyn (by way of columbia) and witnessing their palpable passion for music live on stage is unforgettable. tickets, $10-12 (not sure why, imma pay 11.50 just for fucks) available here. 8pm at sunnyvale, 1031 grand st.
Anniversary Celebration at Alice’s Arbor, Clinton Hill.
come celebrate food and drinks and the life of a longlasting (by new york standards) neighborhood mainstay. alice’s arbor turns five and wants to share the love with you. free food and drinks (as long as they and we all last) and entertainment, and if you know anything about alice’s arbor’s farm-to-table roots, you know this is going to be oh-so-good. mango ginger mojitos, pulled pork sliders. stuffed mushrooms, fried mac and cheese squares, cowboy fries (don’t know what this is but sounds #tuff), live music and also i have no idea why you’re still reading this. you’re going, ok? we all are. all info here, 6pm-2am, 549 classon ave.
Sugarlift Open Studios Launch Party and Pop-Up Gallery, TriBeCa.
your #reasontocrosstheriverthisweekend – it’s a pop-up gallery and party to kickoff NY Frieze Festival, just the way you want it. artwork, both finished and in-process, will be on display, and the artists hanging out among revelers to enjoy the live music and free-flowing braven beer. tickets, $20 available here. 7-11pm. 393 broadway.
Night at the Museum at MoMA PS1, Long Island City.
your #reasontocrossthecreekthisweekend – a kickoff party for NY Frieze Fest, bringing the festivities to you without the trip across the ravine and without the art snobbery and hobnobbery. it’s all happening (as it often is) at MoMA PS1. enjoy their amazing outdoor space and experience 5 just-opened exhibitions. plus grapefruit dacquiris, bites from m.wells, music all night and all the chil people you want to hang with. tickets $15, available here. 8pm-midnight, 22-25 jackson ave.
SUNDAY
i don’t know man, maybe take a breather.
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