Listen, Brooklyn. It’s time to rock and roll. Why? Because I said so. And also because it’s your weekend. So let’s do it right. Or wrong. Or however you like it really. I’m just here to guide you. Scroll down. It’s time.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Thursday
Tree Lighting and Winter Wonderland in Bryant Park
I know this might feel a little cheesy. But beyond the tree lighting there is a whole wonderland of things to discover- like you and your lover slip-sliding your way around the ice skating rink, wandering booth-to-booth checking off everyone on your holiday list, heating up over warm empanadas and sneaking in your own wine (you didn’t hear that from me). Just trust me, go to Bryant Park. It’s your best #reasontocrosstheriverthisweekend. And go Thursday, experience the magic before anyone else. Info here.
Spoons Tunes & Booze – Xmas After Dark at Nitehawk Theater in Prospect Park
I’m sick of knowing that Christmas after dark didn’t really mean Santa boot-scootin’ down my chimney, nibbling on the cookies I left him and making all of my heart’s desires come true, right there in the living room come dawn. Christmas after dark must have been little more than my parents bickering about wrapping paper and how to assemble a Barbie dream house. I like to think it was a little darker, a little more secretive, and certainly full of all my cartoon friends and favorite cereals. Experience it the way you want this Thursday at Nitehawk in Prospect Park. All the tunes, all the cereal, all the chances in the dark with strangers, and plenty of booze to mix all of those unlikely pairings together smoothly. Info here. 9:30-11:30pm. 188 Prospect Park
Into the Woods Immersive Sing-Along at the Knitting Factory in Williamsburg
One way to get yourself into the holiday spirit is to transport yourself back into the nostalgic fairytales of your youth, to give them an oddly spooky little glow, and to add enough booze to have you singing along with strangers Thursday night at the Knitting Factory. The Brooklyn Theatre Company brings you Into the Woods where you’ll follow The Baker and his wife who wish to have a child, Cinderella who wishes to go the King’s Festival, Jack who wishes his cow would give some milk, and likely a lot of people who kind of look familiar heading to the bar for another drink. Tickets and info here. 8-10:30, 361 Metropolitan Ave.
Two-for-One Gin and Tonics at El Born in Greenpoint
Yep, that’s where I’ll be in approximately one hour. So come, say hi. Tell me about all of the typos in this guide. Or, just squeeze in close and let me whisper to you all of the plans that I have for you, but just didn’t have a chance to type up yet. Read more here, see you there. 651 Manhattan Ave.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Friday
Glitterbox at House of Yes in Bushwick
Nothing shimmers like that sweet, sweet holiday glow that has fallen upon all of us, here as we panic to buy Christmas presents and also pay rent, to try to do the NYC Christmas thing while not pushing aggressively through tourists, to manage everything on our professional to-do list while nursing egg nog hangovers and telling ourselves we didn’t make such fools of ourselves at the office party, and probably no one knows you went home with Mark from finance…. Ok, fine then. Let’s just add our OWN glitter. Fuck you, holiday glow. Let’s do it, all together, at Glitterboxx this Friday night. They’ll be bringing you all of your favorite disco tunes so wear something that shimmers. Info here. 10pm-4am. 2 Wyckoff Ave.
Not Your Average Holiday Party with Yes Williamsburg, at the Gradient in Bushwick
If you aren’t familiar with Yes Williamsburg, consider them your authority on all the cool happenings, the latest openings, and perhaps even the most reliable voices (hey hey that’s me!) in North Brooklyn. And that means if they’re hosting a holiday, you’ll want yourself seen and your voice heard there. They’ll be taking over the Gradient and bringing you live dj sets all night, disco dancing, and all the best raffles prizes from the local businesses you love (hint: holiday shopping, done, if you’re lucky) Info here. It’s happening from 8pm-4am, 17 Wyckoff Ave at The Gradient, where things vary a little bit! (sorry, that was a bad one).
Nutcracker Rouge at Theater XIV in Bushwick
Be honest with yourself. There’s no more need for the “naughty or nice” bit this year. You’re getting coal and switches (ooh!) this year and that was pretty much determined before the end of 2018. So let’s get really good and naughty here as Christmas approaches by going to this dirty iteration of a Holiday classic. It’s the Nutcracker Rouge, a kinky burlesque cabaret ballet that reinterprets the classic coming-of-age tale as one of sexual awakening. It runs now through 1/13 but go before Christmas. Don’t ruin it for yourself next year. Tickets are $75 and are available here. 383 Troutman St.
Or, go see The Nutcracker at Lincoln Center in Manhattan
Or see Clara dance pretty in the original in the Upper West Side with all of those pretty little Upper West Siders where tickets are $95 and justifiable because they deserve to be rewarded for making good decisions, but what they don’t know is that Santa spent most of his year watching US because it’s more fun.
Citizenship Live at Caveat in the LES
We aren’t all that proud to be Americans these days. But keep in mind there are so many people vying for citizenship, learning way more than we had to in order to stay here, live here, and have rights. Make yourself appreciate that a little more and also brush up on some ‘merica stuff before you embarrass yourself around your family over the holidays. Citizenship Live! is happening this Friday night at Caveat. They’ll put you to the test, but thankfully, not give you the boot if you don’t pass it. It’s your #reasontocrosstheriverthisweekend mostly just to give a little nod to Lady Liberty. She stood for something once, and she stands for all of us now. Regardless of what that puffed up candied yam in office has to say about it. Info here. 21 A Clinton St.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Saturday
Gold Dust with Dusty Rose Vintage at the William Vale in Williamsburg
Consumerism is at an all-time high this season, which means we’re spending our hard-earned cash on what will eventually become waste. Change the way you think about shopping and seek something truly unique with Dusty Rose Vintage, at their very first Gold Dust celebration. They’ll be popping up at the William Vale with a vintage marketplace offering highly curated holiday goods, a panel discussions on textile waste and where to go from here, and groovy textile workshops and activations focused on repurpose and repair. Go. Shop smarter. Tickets available here. Noon-7pm, 111 N 12th St
Awkward Holiday Pet Photo Shoot at Pine Box Rock Shop in Bushwick
Ah yes. Just what your friends want this year, especially those with babies. For your Christmas card to arrive with you, looking all youth-eyed and hopeful, exuding that casual-cool-creative wild-and-free Brooklyn vibe and accompanied not by 3 little rugrats or worse, a pregnant belly with a big red bow and tag reading “don’t open ’til xmas!” on it. No no. You’ll be accompanied by your one and only responsibility in this world, your beloved pet. I’m serious, this is the best way to remind everyone back home that you made different decisions and you’re really fucking happy with it. Bring your pet to the Awkward Family Pet Photoshoot at Pine Box Rock Shop. Proceeds go to Whiskers-A-Go-Go and Second Chance Rescue NYC Dogs and there will be treats for your pets and cocktails for you and snacks and cute furry things to pet. $20 suggested donation, 5-10pm. all info here. 12 Grattan St.
The Makossa x FOMO Holiday Party at Elsewhere in Bushwick
Because we all miss summer, but especially the summertime magic that Makossa brought to life for us, all summer long. Fortunately they’ve bottled up all of those cookouts and dance parties and they want to warm you right back up, this Saturday night, at Elsewhere. They’re teaming up once again with FOMO and promise to fill the space with equal parts magic and mayhem. Come, spread some holiday cheer and give the decade a filthy kiss goodbye. Free entry with RSVP before midnight, right here.
Gala Galactica at House of Yes in Bushwick
Rid yourself of the social pressure of being “down to earth”. Earth. What a snoozefest, right? Space out from this planet and blast off into another galaxy at the Gala Galactica at House of Yes on Friday. This is your invitation to utopia, your evening of intergalactic art, celestial elegance and deep space dancefloor exploration. Wear your most glamorous galactic styles, dress as your future perfect self. Dance all night. Free with an RSVP before 11pm, or buy your $30 tickets here. 10pm-4am, 2 Wyckoff Ave.
Rubulad Holiday Revue in Bushwick
Here in a city defined by change, where you often find yourself standing in front of some bright, new, Instagrammable farm-to-table restaurant and wonder what the hell was there just last week, it’s refreshing to hold on to those things with staying power. Even if they’re as elusive as Rubulad, Brooklyn’s oldest continually running DIY art space and underground party. They’ll be hosting their annual Holiday Revue, and it’s the one holiday-themed party you don’t want to miss this year. They’ll have live music by The Brass Queens, Isaac Gillespie, Nic Mercedes, and Sammy Weissberg’s Schmuletide Christmasith. Also featuring DJ/MC Baby K. Love, Projections by the Sperm Whale, Yummy Takoyaki by Yoko Nips, Mike Flaherty’s Art Hole and more. Dress in holiday flair to enhance your experience. Tickets $10 in advance here. RSVP for address. 8:30am-3:30am.
My Venezuelan Holiday Kitchen at Archestratus in Greenpoint
Because your holiday table could use a little more pizazz than grandma’s soggy yams and Aunt Betty’s cranberry crumble. Come to this cooking demonstration and authentic Venezuelan dinner from Caracas native Mercedes Golip. She’ll fill the holiday table with pan de jamon, potato salad, hallacas, and a ponche cream flan. Come, bring friends, learn something, eat everything. Then give your family dinner a little latin flair. Tickets $70 here (that include a welcome cocktail!) 160 Huron St.
BUST Craftacular in Industry City
Get them something that says “I know you really well and I was thinking about you and then I purchased this absolutely perfect gift, just for you. Oh and also it was handmade.” Find something for everyone on your list and also talk to the makers, creators, movers, and shakers behind the goods. It’s the BUST Craftacular in Industry City, and it’s happening this Saturday and Sunday only. Free admission, 150+ vendors. Plus food, activities, talks, fun. All info here, 11am-7pm, 238 36th St. Be there or BUST. (ok that one was easy.)
All Night Skate Fundraiser at Little Skips East in Bushwick
Ok listen. I think I ended up here once. At All Night Skate. Am I crazy? Does anyone else know what I’m talking about? A super retro skate-themed bar without a skating rink? Anyway, it seems they are holding a fundraiser to open their doors (again, maybe I’m crazy) and let’s all go so I can finally get to the bottom of this. They’ll have Japanese comfort food from Mamayoshi, tarot readings, live portraits and face painting, DJs spinning all night, and raffle prizes, which will all also help raise funds for the Phoenix Community Garden. Go, #revelwithacause. Info here. It’s happening from 7pm-midnight at Little Skips East, which is a place I know I’ve been to. 1643 Broadway.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Sunday
Juicy Brews Winter Invitational Craft Beer Festival at 5 Boroughs Brewery in Sunset Park
I’ve got a juicy little tidbit for you. Hop Culture Magazine is descending upon Five Boroughs Brewing this Saturday for their annual Winter Invitational Craft Beer Festival. This year it’s 80’s apres ski-themed, so grab your Pit Vipes and ski poles and fresh white powder and get there to spend a day among 25+ of the best local craft brewers with unlimited pours, local foods to soak them up, and live music to shake it all down (and hopefully not back up) (shake it a little less maybe). Tickets are only $20 which is insane. I’ll be apres to do just about anything for $20. (don’t DM me for details. thanks.) Get yours here now and then get there, noon-7pm, at 215 47th St.
Greenpointers Holiday Market at the Greenpoint Loft
This is the answer to your holiday shopping woes, and a nearly guaranteed hangover cure that you’ll need this Sunday. Our friends at Greenpointers bring together some of the best local artisans, plus your favorite food pop-ups, wine and craft brews, acupuncture, tarot readings, ornament making, and lots of holiday cheer. Plus, a photo booth! Info here. 1-7pm, 67 West St.
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