Yep, Brooklyn, that’s about to be your summer. Smashed to bits and left for dead somewhere in McCarren Park, wishing that just moments before it was all over, someone embraced it and used it for their own enjoyment, as it was intended.
Now is that moment. Don’t let your summer die for no reason. Let it live, let it pour juice all down your mouth and make your hands sticky and give you a reason to have spitting contests with your friends. I’ll show you all the best ways how, just below, in your weekend guide.
Come on now, let’s go.
Stargazing in Transmitter Park in Greenpoint
It’s easy to get distracted by the shining, shimmering skyline as you let nightfall upon you in Transmitter Park. Let’s not soon forget that there’s a whole solar system of stars and planets and likely some inhabitants that don’t assume the body of common Manhattan douchebags… instead of gingham shirts and smart chinos and a smirk, they all wear that skin-tight glittery latex number that zips up the back and all decided collectively to stop smiling way back before our time. At least, that’s how I picture them. See for yourself and look into the great beyond this Thursday night by stargazing in Transmitter Park. The Friends of Transmitter Park will be there to provide telescopes and all of your answers about the Great Beyond*. Info here, arrive at sundown/8pm-ish. 2 Greenpoint Ave.
*this does not include any answers as to why Murray Hill is devoid of any human life at all, yet many bodies.
Jaws Sighting in Long Island City
Not sure if you’ve heard, but a great white fucking shark has been sighted off the shores of Montauk, heading West. I’m not kidding. And they’re saying this is good news, because our water clean-up efforts are finally working, and now the predators have returned! The waters are so clean, we have to stay out of them! If you didn’t click on the link I inserted and you still aren’t scared, let Steven Spielberg reinstate your fear tonight off the just-clean-enough shores of the East River, in Long Island City. They’ll be playing Jaws on the big screen, with an encore performance of Dave Matthews telling you to not drink or go into the water, in so many words. The film is free, so are most of our beaches. Info here. Film starts at sundown, 52-10 Center Blvd.
Do Things My Dad Likes Because It’s His Birthday
Today is my dad’s birthday, and while he doesn’t live here and thus we can’t hang, I always like to do things he likes to do on this day. Which means kayaking, eating oysters, drinking wine, and telling stories while sitting outside and sipping on something. If this sounds like something you’d enjoy too, partake. And wish him a happy birthday while you do it. And if not, do things that your dad likes. And let me know what they are, in the comments section below.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Friday
Cruel Summer at the Bell House in Gowanus
The only thing cruel about summer is when it leaves us. So don’t let it leave us. Go and revel in everything it’s about, 80s style- so make sure you don a summer outfit. It’s being brought to you by the shiny happy people at The Skint. $10 at the door, $5 in advance with promo code “summertime” exclusively for BiT readers. Get your tickets here then be there, with bells on, at the bell house. 149 7th st. at the Bell House, I’ll be there with bells on (and almost nothing else)™
Hong-Kong Tapas and Art in Carroll Gardens
Maybe you’re sick of me always talking about and inviting you to join me at El Born but you aren’t yet sick of tapas. Well then maybe this event is for you. It’s the last installment of the inventive, enticing, and all-around artistically inspiring tapas and mural event, in Carroll Gardens! There’s a mural, there are Hong-Kong-style tapas, there are seasonal drinks, there will be you and all those other people who refuse to join me at El Born, and it will be damn delicious. Seating is limited, so reserve yours here. Be there at the time you chose. 371 Court St.
Flying High at House of Yes in Bushwick
Sometimes, I just let House of Yes say it best: Lift your spirits, elevate your life. Take off, blast off and get high in the friendly skies with Yes Air and Big Imagination! Aerial aviation of the highest altitudes, soaring spectacles beyond the stratosphere and beautiful beats to keep you flying and floating through the solar system & dance floor all night long. Come dressed as a flight attendant. Renew your membership to the Mile High Club. Do bad things with good intentions. Your plane is boarding, and you just got bumped up to first class… or, at least, you feel like you just did. Tickets, here. 10pm-4am, 2 Wyckoff Ave. Also, if your curious if this is a fundraising event for that airplane art car at Burning Man, yes. Yes it is.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on Governor’s Island
(Meet me in Montauk) oh, I mean… (meet me on Governor’s Island) yeah, pay attention to that second delicate whisper. If you didn’t know, our favorite brewery has an outpost on Governor’s Island. Yeah, Governor’s Island- you know, that place that is suddenly blowing up that is the last place you’d expect to blow up, since Industry City. So go be part of the action and drink all of the amazing beers Threes is brewing while watching one of the best films ever, al fresco. It’s free and it’s summertime and you should be on an island somewhere. Info here.
Boy Band Sing-Along at Union Hall in Park Slope
It’s annoying enough already when you accidentally lock eyes with that guy at any wedding and he decides to dramatically lip-synch “but I want it thaaaat way!” complete with whatever motions he decisively makes his arms do. Avoid this event, where that guy at any wedding is every person inside Union Hall. Unless, of course, you are that guy or you like that guy. Then, go. It’s a “judgement free” boy band sing-along and you won’t find me there. I’m not that girl. Info here, 9:30-midnight, 702 Union St.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Saturday
Beers With(out) Beards at the Well in Bushwick
We are living in an age of breaking boundaries, shattering glass ceilings, blurring lines and bashing stereotypes. Women like beers. Women brew beers. Women also sometimes burp when having beers. And we’re still fucking sexy as hell. Come and celebrate all of those things at the Beers Without Beards Craft Beer Festival, at the Well. Drink beers brewed by women, with women and men and everything in between. 23 breweries, 4 hours, unlimited beers. And yes, there will be some beards there. This is fucking Brooklyn. Tickets, $50 available here. Noon-4pm, 272 Meserole St at The Well. Be like Timmy, Fall in the Well.
Yaki Tiki Weekend Barbecue at A/D/O in Greenpoint
We’re all a little sad that the Norman left us earlier this summer… drink away your sadness and do your best to forget all about it at the Yaki Tiki barbecue, in the same space (and the backyard too!). The amazing team behind Okonomi and Yuji Ramen have moved into the space and brought with them a Polynesian party that you’re invited to, every weekend. So go. Drink. Eat things on sticks, with multiple sauce options. Don’t bring up the Norman and make people sad. That’s a rude thing to do at Barbecues. Info here, starts at noon. 172 Banker St.
Backyard BBQ at Nowadays in Ridgewood
Because all of those friends you have with backyards and grills and promises of cookouts “every day this summer!” suddenly become scarce once summer hits, Nowadays says fuck those friends. You deserve to have your hotdogs and beers and music and open-air without them. Come to their backyard BBQ this Saturday for bocce ball and ping pong, cold drinks, groovy tunes, Italian hot dogs (??) and rotating BBQ fare (???) and Republic of Booza ice cream (!!!!). It starts at noon and goes, if you want, until Mister Sunday greets you the next day. Info here. 56-06 Cooper Ave.
Bomba Estereo in Prospect Park
Summer is ending folks. So stop not going to see live music outside. Seriously, stop. Start stopping Saturday night at the wondrous Prospect Park bandshell with Bomba Estereo, the hottest cumbia superstars of our time. They play a FREE shot with fiery Colombian expat outfit Delsonido, so get there early and find an inventive way to sneak in some wine. Let me know what you come up with. I’ll be the one drinking out of a leather Spanish wine sack in the back. Gates at 6:30, show at 7:30 but it’s free so just leave now. Info here.
PS1 Summer Warm-Up, Long Island City
This LIC summertime party institution also has a permanent residency on my weekend guide, from now through labor day. So I recommend checking the schedule and either choosing based on the tunes or your own availability (this is not a “oh I have a few hours, I’ll check it out” kind of affair. it will take all of your Saturday and at least 3/4 of the mental space of your Sunday. And it will all be worth it.) tickets here. I’m already heatin’ up.
Young Adult Friction Indie-Alt Dance Party at the Brooklyn Bazaar in Greenpoint
Your favorite weekend rub down, for those of us who are looking for the anti-rave. Young Adult Friction, the indie-alt dance party that gets you to dance yrself clean and then dirty again in Brooklyn and will be heating up the dancefloor at the Brooklyn Bazaar Saturday night. Leave the hypnotic trance-dance warehouse scene behind in exchange for all of your favorite indie pop, alt rock, post punk, dance punk, and oldies, all night. Tickets and love are free. Dance all night and leave with a new lover. Info here, 11-3am, 150 Greenpoint Ave.
Would You Rather Live at Friends and Lovers in Crown Heights
Hey, so, the debates! The goddamn the debates. What a mess we’ve made, huh? If they’ve left you feeling like you don’t want to participate in seeing all of these very pressing questions being answered with basically a WWF-style of entertainment, just with added suits and podiums, then come on down to Friends and Lovers Saturday night. They’ll be answering the more important questions, if not more politely, at least in a way that we can all laugh about together, instead of with Bill Maher later. It’s Would You Rather, Live! A comedy show that will have you wondering what you would really do if you really had to choose between never dreaming again, or having to watch all of your dreams on TV every morning with your entire family watching along. Yeah. Think about it. Then head to 641 Classon Ave. Info here.
Petite League (Album Release!) at the Sultan Room in Bushwick
If you haven’t yet heard of the Turk’s Inn, then make sure you tell everyone you heard it here first. (I mean it, tell them.) The Turk’s Inn was a kitschy supper club in Northern Wisconsin for 80 years and when it shuddered its doors in 2014 after the owner died, best friends Varun Kataria and Tyler Erickson bought as much of the decor and ephemera as they could at an estate sale and have been working for 3 years to reopen it, in Bushwick. This kitschy, dreamy, and not at all authentic Arabic adventure will transport you, if not anywhere, to the magic of the 1960s midwest. Best of all? They have a music venue on the top floor and Saturday night they invite Petite League (for their album release!) along with DJ Bailey Leiter and Jonathan Something to the disco-fabulous stage. Tickets available here. Go early, have dinner. Stay late, get a Kebab. 234 Starr St.
(Untitled) Green-Wood by Pioneer Works, in Green-Wood Cemetery in Sunset Park
I don’t know about you, but I’m always looking for different ways to interact with cemetery spaces. Let the creative geniuses behind everyone’s favorite gallery and free-form mixed-use space in Red Hook show you a new way to be living among the interred. Pioneer Works brings us the inaugural performance of their partnership with Green-Wood cemetery this Saturday night with Untitled (Green-Wood), an immersive performance that will allow you to follow and watch as performers build and collapse mobile structures. Let their lithe movements blur the lines between art and OH FUCK I THINK THAT’S ACTUALLY A GHOST. Put yourself in there. You never know. Tickets are $25 and available here. 7-9pm, 500 25th St.
Things to do in Brooklyn on Sunday
Bikini Sundae Pool Party at House of Yes in Bushwick
This is the pool party you want to be at. House of Yes invites you to strip down and dive into their pop-up pool, their rooftop jacuzzi, and all over their indoor and outdoor dance floors this Sunday, with ice cream and booze too. Come, dance, splash in your speedo. Arrive early and #revelwithacause as you party down the sidewalks of Bushwick, helping LitterRally keep the streets clean. All info here. The party is free, just like you and me. 2 Wyckoff Ave.
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