hey there brooklyn. somehow it’s the second weekend of august so it’s time to reflect. what have we done with our summer? how have we spent our days? who have we loved? what have we learned? does the shade of our skin reflect our victories or defeats and just how many hot dogs have we consumed?
these are the best days, brooklyn. the ones that we know are so sweet and fleeting. so let’s embrace the summer as tight as our lovers and shed our clothing along with our inhibitions (i know, i always say that… but i like it. and so do you.) just jump in and don’t look back, because there’s nothing back there for us anyway. not anymore.
your weekend guide is waiting in the deep end. dive in.
THURSDAY
Live at the Archway: Brasil SummerFest in Dumbo.
nothing gets my heart beating and my hips moving faster than things from Brazil- cachaça, diego costa, the pronunciation of “besos” with a sh sound and of course, samba. all of this magic (minus diego costa) will be getting down with us under the archway Thursday night. live music, interactive art installations, food, dranks, and all of the funk you can handle on a thursday. come, dance, celebrate, inebriate. info here. 6-9pm, this event is free. under the manhattan bridge archway in dumbo.
Comal SFC Pop-UpDinner at The Diamond, Greenpoint.
ah, the constantly evolving, multi-faceted brilliance of the diamond. thursday it enters into the realm of exotic small plate supper club because why the fuck not. seriously. why not. they’ll be grilling out carnitas, fish tacos, and quesadillas to go oh-so-well with that rotating tap of beers you’ve never heard of… and you feel like you drink a lot of microbrews. i love the diamond. and it loves you, and if you’re reading this then you at least tolerate me so we’re just a big love ring. comal SFC will be grilling out from 6pm- they run out. feast your eyes first here and swallow all of your excuses and come early and hungry and then #meetmeinthegondola where we will share carnitas and secrets. 43 franklin st. #carnitasandsecrets
FRIDAY
Cruel Summer- 80s Dance Party at the Bell House, Gowanus.
the only thing cruel about summer is when it leaves us. so don’t let it leave us. go and revel in everything it’s about, 80s style- so make sure you donnasummer outfit. it’s being brought to you by the shiny happy people at the skint. $10 at the door, $5 in advance with promo code “summertime” exclusively for BiT readers. get your tickets here then be there, with bells on, at the bell house. 149 7th st. at the bell house, i’ll be there with bells on (and almost nothing else)™
The World’s First Orgasm Pop-Up is happening in Manhattan.
this is the best #reasontocrosstheriver yet. does anyone else feel like we’re in the midst of a feminine sexual revolution and is anyone else acting accordingly? …anyone? well if you’re not, let me give you a reason to get out there and get you some, without relying on a man, because it’s summertime and you should have all the men and all the fun yet take your pleasure very seriously. so give yourself a break and break it off before you make bad decisions Friday night. it’s an orgasm pop-up, so cum test out top-end sex toys from hotoctopuss. sign up for a time slot by emailing queenbee@hotoctopuss.com, then slip in and… ok you know where this is going. then make your bad decisions with a clear clitoris heart. 10am-6pm.
Babeland Summer BBQ in Boerum Hill.
I don’t know about you but barbecues always make me think about my sex life. something about balancing pulled pork on a dixie plate makes me think dirty, desirous thoughts and it seems i’m not alone. babeland on bergen st is hosting a barbecue with sex tips and plenty of opportunities to find a last-minute summertime fling this friday. hot dogs, cold beer, and steamy sex talk, plus a chance to win $200 worth of adult toys for all you naughty girls and boys. the event is free, 7pm, 462 bergen st.
Cirque Noir at House of Yes, Bushwick.
let’s face it, circuses and clowns are fucking creepy. let’s somehow embrace it and step into the dark side with house of yes thisFridayy and Saturday night. cirque noir mixes an arial performance with film noir. burlesque and an immersive experience with bearded ladies and brooklyn bearded men, snake charmers and charming snakes…explore the depths of your imagination and slip into the shadows that will have you saying yes. yes. yes. yes. all info here, tickets $25. 2 wyckoff ave. at house of yes, where they put the sensual in consensual.
SATURDAY
Tap + Cork Festival in BedStuy.
don’t stuy in bed and tap that cork, head out to the brooklyn tap and cork festival this saturday. i feel no need to really explain this any further – it’s beer and wine, it’s in bed stuy, it’s everything you want your saturday to be and you can get your $35 tickets right here, right now baby. 2-8pm, 1368 fulton st.
Beach Lovers Photo Show at the Picture Farm Gallery in Williamsburg.
everything is exposed in new york, but we tend to let it all go at the beaches where we shed our clothes along with our inhibitions and throw caution into the winds and our bodies into the waves and, consequently, each other. someone has been capturing those rather intimate moments on film over the years, photographer erica reade has been snapping lovers at coney island and the rockaways on film. the opening is this friday from 7-10pm find yourself there and then try to find yourself, you know… there. captured. 338 wythe ave.
Fancy Feast: Maim that Tune Burlesque Show in Coney Island.
is it just me or is everything happening this weekend quite sexual in nature? no point in breaking the theme now… there is nothing more vulnerable than stripping on stage in front of a bunch of strangers, and to expose everything you need to get into the mood, feel sexy and confident. saturday night expert burlesque performers will be adding an extra challenge by stripping down to their least favorite songs. maim that tune will have you cringing along with these bold performers as they expose more than just their ears to your scrutiny. the show is from 10pm-midnight and tickets are $15. all info here, 1208 surf ave.
SUNDAY
Dusty Rose Vintage Sidewalk Sale in Greenpoint.
if you’ve participated in a lot of the events listed on my blog this weekend, you just may need to hide for a bit. you’ve gotten into some trouble, had a hell of a lot of fun but you’ll need to keep a low profile and also, i don’t know, shower. first head to the dusty rose vintage sidewalk sale and get some new old threads. find something funky to feel good about while you continue to shudder rather shamelessly in all of your sinful memories from the weekend. it goes from noon-5pm, 251 greenpoint ave.
The Outsiders Far Rockaway Ride with Get Up and Ride Brooklyn.
there is absolutely nothing more satisfying that you can do this summer than kicking your ass and biking to the beach and jumping into the ocean and then drinking beers in the sand with your friends and getting hot and then jumping in again and then getting hot and heavy and then jumping in again and then biking back home. i’m serious, there isn’t. and to do it with all of your closest friends, some perhaps that you haven’t met yet? well baby that’s pure magic. join Get Up and Ride Brooklyn on their Outsiders bike ride to far rockaway this sunday. meet at 11am at 330 s 3rd st. it will be a smooth rolling ride and a perfect beach day. info here, it’s free. just like you.
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