Hey, Brooklyn. I’ve made plans for you this weekend. But all of this is just an outline, a silhouette, a form for you to fill in and shape and breathe life into. Take what I’ve made and make it yours. Paint the town red. Fill it up, shake it down. Get after it. Your weekend guide awaits.
Don’t let me down.
THURSDAY
Make Your Own Miso at Anima Mundi Apothecary in Greenpoint
Why is it that we can’t get enough ramen? And yes, it’s far evolved from because-i’m-on-a-college-budget-and-don’t-know-how-to-take-care-of-myself it’s because ramen has evolved along with us, and become something to be revered. So what is that magic that keeps us coming back? Me so curious… and I think some of the answers may lie within that fermented soy paste called Miso. Learn the secrets of this mystical mash beyond the doors of Anima Mundi Apothecary this Thursday night. Because if it can bring ramen from our dorm rooms and into our (choosey new yorker palates) imagine what it can do beyond the bowl. The class is $50, all materials included. Sign up here (quick!). 7pm, 35 Noble St.
House Coalition Fundraiser Dance Party at Nowadays in Ridgewood
Come #revelwithacause at Nowadays this Thursday night and support New York’s strongest dance coalition. They’ll be bringing their spirit, energy and all the funk onto the dancefloor into that epic sound system and teaching you how to boogie along with them and look damn good doing it. Come dance all night and help support the people who keep this city alive and moving. Info here, 8pm-2am, 56-06 Cooper Ave.
Pasta Con Sarde at Archestratus in Greenpoint
It’s been a long week, with so much faux-snow panic and us all worrying over Rex Tillerson’s future. Let’s settle into some homemade Italian comfort food in Greenpoint Thursday night to transition from a tumultuous week to a wild weekend. Paige Limpari will be cooking and serving up a Sicilian-style family meal, with beer and wine and uncouth vermouth for sale. Plates are $20. 7-9pm, RSVP here. 160 Huron St.
FRIDAY
Before Sunrise with Austrian Wine at Videology in Williamsburg
We all have that fantasy of meeting someone on the L train, making eye contact, striking up a conversation and saying to hell with our 9-5 or that bottomless brunch in the LES, and you and a young Ethan Hawke get off at the next stop and spend 24 hours in Austria, drinking wine and making love in a park and being young and wild and free. Come on. You know you do. Take the L train to Videology this Friday and see it happen with Richard Linklater’s Before Sunrise. Your ticket includes a glass of Austrian wine and all of the chances to connect with someone and call of all of your plans for the rest of your life. Tickets, $22 available here. 308 Bedford Ave.
Intro to Tarot at Catland Books in Bushwick
The New York Lotto has tempted us for year’s with that oh-so-clever slogan, “Hey, you never know!” No no, actually we do know. We know that we’re not going to win shit off of any of those little cards you tempt us with at every single bodega in this town. But what if cards could tell us a little more than “you’re definitely not going to win the big bucks tonight.” What if they told us about love and success, and helped serve as a spiritual connection of sorts into the unknown? Come to this introduction to the tarot and learn just what this ancient art is all about and see what’s in the cards for you. Because hey… you never know (but you do know it’s more likely to help you than a fucking scratcher) Tickets, $15 available here. 7-9pm, 987 Flushing Ave.
Leprechaun 4: In Space at Nitehawk Cinema in Williamsburg
Escape the St. Patrick’s Day madness and come celebrate in a galaxy far, far away in a movie theater in Williamsburg where we’ll all ridicule the madness with a leprechaun, in space. Oh and also a princess who wants some leprechaun booty and some space marines and a very unorthodox crotch-bursting scene. It’s a midnight movie and we’ll all be getting drunk and ridiculing this film together. And then go square dancing next door at Skinny Dennis. Tickets available here. Doors at 11:45, show starts at midnight. 136 Metropolitan Ave.
SATURDAY
Shamrock Shindig at Coney Island Brewery in Coney Island
Is it just me or does it seem like St. Patrick’s Day is somehow dedicated to all of the post-college riffraff and bridge-and-tunnel trolls who want to come and destroy our city for a day? (That was a rhetorical question). Spend your St. Patrick’s Day getting drunk and helping to beautify our city at Coney Island Brewery. There will be live face and body painting (no need to worry about pinching if you don’t want to wear green clothing… just strip down and get covered), green cuisine from Coney Shack, inventive Irish mixed drinks and festive and non-festive music all in a huge tented beer garden. Plus, proceeds go to benefiting the Brooklyn Greenway Initiative, so come #revelwithacause. RSVP here (or just come! it’s free). Noon-6pm, 1904 Surf Ave.
Emerald Kingdom at House of Yes in Bushwick
Elevate your St. Patrick’s Day party game to be more than wearing green and drinking green beers on bar crawls and then crawling to the toilet to puke green and crying little green tears of shame. Head to House of Yes for the opulent Emerald Kingdom, where you are invited to party the night aways with knights and saints. Kings, Queens, castles built by legends and lore graciously rule the night covered in opulence and emeralds. There will be pots of gold, juggling and jousting, alluring aerial dances and suitors from far away lands. Gold and green outfits required. Free before 11pm with RSVP here, or $30 after. Come. 10pm-4am, 2 Wyckoff Ave.
Mister Saturday Night at Nowadays in Ridgewood
There’s something to be said for building something physical out of your passion. Brooklyn-based DJ Duo Eamon Harkin and Justin Carter had been doing Mister Sunday outdoor parties and finally decided to build their ideal space for music, dancing, and good times. A place that we can go and experience the music and feeling even when it’s not summertime, even when it’s March and our souls need to be warmed and our ears brought back to the way music should be. So they made Nowadays. And they have parties. And you need to be there. Mister Saturday this Saturday will have founders Eamon and Justin spinning all night. Come early, stay long, dance hard, leave with a new lover. Oh and also… they put a sauna in the backyard, so sweat it out on the dancefloor or in the sauna or a little bit of both. Tickets and info here. 10pm-6am, 56-06 Cooper Ave.
techNowruz II : Iranian New Year Celebration at Silent Barn in Bushwick
Silent Barn in Bushwick is succumbing to rising rents and the gentrifications of our neighborhoods but they won’t go silently. Come help spend the last days making joyful noise and partying hard in this quirky little event space. Saturday they help us understand and celebrate Iranian New Years with a party that will bring all of the beauty, tradition, and culture of the Middle East plus the luck and love and joy of a new year to all of us. Come dance, sing, decorate eggs and burn some esphand. Tickets, $8 available here. Party starts at 7pm. 603 Bushwick Ave.
PIXELATED the Party at a Warehouse in Bushwick
This is the underground warehouse party you’ve been missing and wishing for. Your chance to get down and dirty, to heat up the dance floor, to throw caution to the wind and move your body to the beat and get lost and be found and not resurface until the morning. Likely with a new lover. Pixelated: The Party by the Heavy Sound DJs will do you right this weekend. Tickets are only $10 (which is how they should be). The party goes from 10pm-4:30am until you follow that bleary-eyed bright-spirited crowd to those slew of after-parties that always end up being a bad idea (but hey, fuck it.) Get your ticket here now. 1040 Metropolitan Ave.
SUNDAY
Sausage Making Class with the Meat Hook at Threes Brewing in Gowanus
An intentional sausage party, with beers too! Learn how to stuff sausages at home, or really anywhere you can get away with it. The meaty experts at the Meat Hook show you how, along with a few tasty beers courtesy of Threes Brewing. Come, learn, drink, eat. Tickets, $95 available here. 5-7pm, 333 Douglass St. Sunday isn’t so stuffy anymore!
The Meatball Takedown at the Brooklyn Bazaar in Greenpoint
The only thing I want to do most Sundays is eat meatballs with my friends and drink beers in fairly dark places and talk about which ones we like best and then play putt-putt. Which is exactly what’s happening this Sunday. The Takedowns is taking on on meatballs and bring all the best ballers in the city right to you at the Brooklyn Bazaar. Go, have a ball, then a bunch more and vote. And then go down to the basement and play putt-putt. With meatballs. (that part was a joke but.. hahaha. just imagine it man.) Tickets are $25 and are available here. 2-5 pm, 150 Greenpoint Ave
Vodka Pickle Festival at Grand Prospect Hall in Park Slope
if THIS is what gets you out of bed on Sunday and to Prospect Heights by noon, the prospect of 2.5 hours of bottomless vodka drinking and briny food items, I think you need to take some time reconsidering your life. First, consider that you’re basically a pickle right now, with all the drinking you did Saturday night. And, you’re kind of in a pickle, given that when you woke up, you had no idea where your phone was, where your keys were, or who the fuck that is beside you. And that vodka is a liquor that was meant to be tasteless… so, save your $75. Realize how tasteless and pickled your current predicament is. And do something cooler today.
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