let’s go wait out in the fields with the ones we love.
and listen to the national and drink wine until we’re warm enough to carelessly fall asleep together… while one of us keeps watch at all times so we don’t get devoured by the ferocious pack of mccarren park bums. it’s autumn and this is how we will do it.
along with all of the other amazing things i’ve found for you to do.
THURSDAY
Funk Night at the Warsaw, Greenpoint.
i never hesitate to bring the funk in this hood… however i will respectively pass the torch when my arm gets tired. as it will, thursday, at the warsaw. what the funk?? $1 well drinks for ladies and $2 beers for dudes. and that means lets invite everyone to choose their poison, and choose wisely, and in confidence because at the Warsaw- peace is our treat(y). funkmaster DJ Bobby J plays all vinyl- sassy 60s soul, funky funk, power pop, and every other iteration of those genres. 10pm, free at 261 driggs st. at the warsaw – where the wars i saw was raw.™ (at press time they were still decidedly undecided on their official slogan)
Bebel Gilberto performs at National Sawdust, Williamsburg.
you know you need some samba in your life. and if you don’t want to get in the form of sweaty, sexy latin dancing with men you don’t know at miss favela (my preferred way to have my samba) then head to national sawdust to catch the last show of bebel gilberto, brazilian legend and the official “torchbearer” for bossa nova. this intimate and acoustically-impeccable stage welcomes a most intimate affair. tickets, $45-65, available here. 10-midgnight, 80 N 6th st at national sawdust.
The Hall at MP Taverna, Williamsburg.
yeah I know. this place looks a bit like a holiday inn dining area from the outside. but, the “hall” and backyard have been bringing Williamsburg a constant flow of pretty dope events since its inception. saturday is no different- celebrate Oktoberfest with sausages and pretzels and booze and songs. oh and by the way p, the MP stands for Michael Psilakis so haters can try and hate, you know this food is going to be good as fuck(ing). party goes from 6pm on into the night. tickets, $15-35 all info here. 470 driggs ave.
FRIDAY
Sigur Ros at Kings Theater, Prospect Park.
the first band that ever hit me like this. my god this sound, so all-encompassing, relentless and pure. this is the band of a lifetime and to see them live is something to beheld. so behold it. friday night. at the theater of kings. doors at 830pm. tickets and all your other information here! and i mean the good news is that no one around you will be singing along… so let’s motherfucking do this. #staralfur #glosoli #gobbledigook 1027 flatbush ave. at kings theater –
Oktoberfest Under the Bridge, Dumbo.
so i don’t know if you’ve been to the archway under the brooklyn bridge recently, but just imagine a brooklyn mecca or flea markets and food trucks, outdoor photography exhibits, a bar made out into a mini lighthouse. antiques. new things. it’s a dream of a way to spend any day over the weekend, and this one especially because it’s oktoberfest under the archway. everything you need to know is here. just make sure you’re a leiderhausen, now a followerhausen. (i swear there is a pun to be had there somewhere!!!)
First Friday Nachos at The Diamond, Greenpoint.
oh you dirty little nacho eater… i knew there was something i liked about you. maybe it was your shameless nature. maybe it was your affinity for elevated bar snacks and session ales. and maybe it was just those eyes, reflecting those nachos, reflecting those eyes. baby. whatever it is, this is how it does. first fridays. nachos. flame torched right before your eyes right before our hands holding just below the bar. are you creeped out ok good. see you there. 43 franklin st at the diamond.
Discotechnique // Birthday Edition, House of Yes, Bushwick.
what happens when the co-founder of house of yes has a birthday? a really big 30th birthday? i have no idea but i’m a bit afraid for my life.
every night is already everyone’s birthday at house of yes. but friday night is one of the co-founders birthdays, kae burke, and that means we will all be reborn. aerial dancers, inventive stripteases, house music dancing upon all of your desires and a bathroom full of diamonds. and everyone in their motherfucking birthday suits. we will be taking no other questions about this event. just be there. and let’s disco all night. info and words written by someone else here etc. soiree begins at 10pm and ends only in your mind. (be better than that.) 2 wyckoff ave at house of yes – where they put the sensuality in consensuality.
Soul and Funk Party at Manhattan Inn, Greenpoint.
i feel like i’m losing my edge. and my funk. given the infiltration of the two in the neighborhood, along with the juice bars restaurants fit for sauvages and the bagel sandwiches that make you feel guilty for their inherent beauty and market value rather than there honest breakfastiness. yep. let’s all look past that and let the funk loose, at manhattan inn. soul and funk party. midnight-4am. after-party on my roof (don’t act like you don’t already know) info etc here. 632 manhattan ave.
Kaye, Twin Wave, and Albis at the Brooklyn Night Bazaar, Greenpoint.
dude stop fucking with me. you haven’t been to the night bazaar yet?? i’m left to assume that means you don’t like neon puttputt and inventive artisan goods and live music and dancing and photo booths and karaoke and all of your closest friends having the time of their lives in a former polish dance hall. you fucking quack. decide to be cooler and get there. friday night, kaye, twin wave, and albis take the stage. 7pm-midnight, $10 tickets here. and all the other nights there is shit going on, just for you. go. seek.
SATURDAY
Glitter in your Bacon Brunch Party at House of Yes, Bushwick.
there is no reason ever for those two things to go together, except of course nearly every brunch that is really just a transient state because you just recently came from the club. let’s cut out the middle man and just stay at house of yes all weekend, k? this event, by risky business, doesn’t sound safe. at all. and thus just what i’m looking for. come along, i’ll hold your hand. 11am-6pm, all info here. 2 wyckoff ave at house of yes- where your safe word is always “yes”™
Starfish and Coffee at No.7 North, Greenpoint.
yeah you have no idea what that means… shit like this is why i fucking love brooklyn. and greenpoint. come saturday afternoon to this dj set at no.7 north. dj todd lerrone will be spinning all prince (and admittedly a little bit of young thug) every saturday until the anniversary of prince’s death. audaciously understated shit that makes almost no sense that we all totally dig. this is brooklyn. noon-4pm, free, 931 manhattan ave oh and in the event that you’re thirsty… the taiwan on is the best beer-and-shot-deal in town. get 3, coo’?
Aerosol Art Workshop in Prospect Park.
i don’t know if you’ve ever tried your hand at the old street art game, but from what i hear it’s a hell of a lot harder than it looks. especially at 5am after being at good room all night. and for some reason choosing that wavy metal siding as your canvas… anyway, regardless of your circumstances, it never hurts to practice. so that when you get caught red (or blue or purple) handed, you at least have some artwork to show for it. this class, our friends down in prospect park teach you how and help you define your own style. $70 gets you in. and apparently, $500 gets you out, so just don’t get caught. bitch. tickets and not as much info as you need is here. 1130-130pm, 470 ocean ave. #hashtagit
Mario Kart Tourney at The Diamond, Greenpoint.
everybody’s favorite funky little neighborhood bar doing what they do best. funky little neighborhood things. saturday brings back the semi-monthly mario kart tourney. 3-6pm $3 entry but free to watch and chill and drink really dope (mostly session!) beers. 43 franklin st. at the diamond
Life, After Screening at in Dumbo. Brooklyn.
I don’t “netflix” or live-stream or roku. or any of that. but if i did, it would be this series, all day, everyday, always. filmed in greenpoint, local transplants (and real-life charming brooklynites) corinne + erica find themselves in the afterlife, unintentionally, after being hit by a car while being engulfed in a group text message and crossing the street. this poignant and aptly-timed series had me nearly crying (of laughter!) in my chair at the screening at littlefield a few months ago, and has only grown in popularity since. watch this clip below then head to the NY Media Center in Dumbo, 30 john st, saturday at 3pm as part ot the Brooklyn Web Fest. for the screening. tickets, $10 here. #friendsdontletfriendsgroupmessage #dontmesswithgroupmess
HUMP! Dan Savage’s Amateur Quick and Dirty Film Fest, Greenpoint.
what do you do when you’re bored with your sex life? hint: don’t buy a fucking cosmo. try a night of imaginitive and pervasive quickies. a bunch of them. with strangers. either at a sex club ORRRR at dan savage’s quick and dirty film fest. if you haven’t ever heard or read any of dan savage’s work you owe it to yourself to check it out, as he’s our generations refreshingly unorthodox authority on sex. and everything that goes along with it. it’s an amateur porn festival, all in 5-minute shorts. so you leave feeling dirty and frisky and like you haven’t gotten enough. shows at 630, 830, and 1030. all right behind my house (which was consensual btw) , on dobbin street. tickets and some trailers here.
Weekly Figure Drawing at Muchmore’s, Williamsburg.
or if you don’t have the balls for the film fest, try your hand at some amateur figure drawing. learn some anatomy. draw someone like one of jack’s french girls and maybe french kiss a stranger while drinking chablis or something. i don’t know what you do with your pg-rated life, ok? but there are options for you too. $15, 2 havemeyer st. at muchmore’s – where no one leaves muchmore up to the imagination™
Discwoman 2 Year Anniversary at Sugar Hill Restaurant + Supper Club, Bed Stuy.
this is my new favorite venue in brooklyn. sugar hill disco looks like an 80s prom was decorated with leftover pizza hut furniture and doubles as a bingo hall and you will never, ever want to leave. some of the best music i’ve heard in months in this town. plus the late-night outdoor barbecue buffet is so so dope. do here. get fucking sweaty. party starts at — and never ends. tickets, $10 found here or at the door.
Father John Misty performs at Gramercy Theater, Gramercy, Manhattan.
there are few thing more captivating than watching this man perform. he’s equal parts musician, performer, and complete fucking mad man. his performances are captivating and his band could stand alone and deliver a killer show. this is hands down the best reason to cross the river this weekend. he speaks with matthew trammell at gramercy theater as part of the new yorker festival, then plays some tunes/ tickets, $45, found here. and also check out these other things i said about him, plus a video!
SUNDAY
Pickle Festival, North Brooklyn Farm, Williamsburg.
we’ve been marinated over this one for a while now, and honestly have been real salty since the closing of the city’s beaches so let’s all head to the farm… bitches. north brooklyn farm. this sunday, there’s a pickle festival, and while there may not be sand and waves but there will be fun. and pickles, and whiskey to preceed it. just add a little brine, you’re feelin’ fine! is it just me or did this stop making sense a few sentences ago? i’ll put a lid on it. tickets, $50, purchased right here. if you show up without one, you might end up in a pickle. no like actually in a giant pickle. (of shame). 320 kent ave at the pickle festival – where mason jars are still functional.
Second Sundays at Pioneer Works, Red Hook.
yep, it’s the second sunday of the month (already!) and that means two things – you better get on that halloween costume, and it’s second sundays at pioneer works, my favorite little art gallery in brooklyn. open studios, live music, exhibitions, food, fun. follow my biking guide here for a full day of fun, or head straight to 159 pioneer st. 5-10pm. arrive early if you want to be a pioneer. by definition. only.
Sunday No-Waste Dinner at 21 Greenpoint. which is in Greenpoint.
21 greenpoint, you know we’re all going to come check you out no matter what you do. river styx left us wanting so much more and that little bar tender teaser trick you pulled well… it was damn effective. and now this? taking a stand against food waste in a way that doesn’t seem really fucking obnoxious. sunday nights at 21 greenpoint gets you a 5-course meal made from whatever the chef can come up with out of what would normally be thrown out. and the result is an explpsion of flavors and creativity and the warm feeling that you’ve helped with this enormous and rather embarrassing issue we have. come. let’s dine together. sundays at 21 greenpoint – where the only thing wasted should be you.
Second Presidential Debate at Greenpoint Beer and Ale or at the Diamond, both in Greenpoint.
if you haven’t seen this epic summary of the first debate, watch it now, above. and expect much less entertainment and about 5 times the amount of frustration, but watch. care. vote, fucking vote. may god save us all.
your viewing parties are here, brooklyn. find me let’s bitch about the circus that has become this election and drink brews and laugh about how monday is such a relative concept. Greenpoint Beer + Ale is at 7 N 15th st.
The Diamond is at 43 franklin st.
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