Remember when we called it “lunch”? Remember when getting food on the weekend with friends wasn’t just an excuse to get wasted as early as possible?
Let me tell you something about “brunch”. The most common thing ordered on the very inventive Brunch menu at the charming North Brooklyn establishment where I work is two eggs, any style. Two Eggs Any Style. And while people might pause for a moment while they dream up some gradation from sunnyside up to hard scrambled (ew.), I use this pause to observe this specimen. This human who woke up, thoughtfully put on clothes and likely makeup, some have even curled their hair, for two eggs, any style. I have to fight back the desire not to take them by the hand, lead them back up to their apartment and introduce them to the frying pan, the egg carton, the burner, the same exact fucking dish they are willing to sit in public and consume for $13 plus tax.
And there is a place in Williamsburg serving the perfect antidote to two-eggs-any-style.
It feels a bit too fitting that the man who confessed that “New York, I love you but you’re bringing me down” would choose to completely reject this trendy abomination of a mealtime. Thank you, James Murphy. Thank you. You give me something to believe in.
At the Four Horsemen in Williamsburg, there are no eggs on the lunch menu. There isn’t even a chance for you to cutely choose an alteration that maybe speaks to who you are on the inside. There is simply a set 4-course menu. (which, this small nuance wasn’t lost on me… the four coursemen, anyone? no?) You get whatever they have chosen for the day, and trust me when I say they will choose thoughtfully and tastefully.
There is no shitty prosecco on draft for you to mindlessly drink oversweet mimosas from as you carelessly push your hangover into tomorrow. There is a thoughtful list of (mostly) natural wines. There are beers you never heard of. There is an owner and a chef and a staff all begging you to be better. To eat your eggs at home. To leave your house demanding a better experience.
I believe in you, Brooklyn. Fuck brunch. You’re better than that. OR if you’re not, try to be better than that.
The Four Horsemen serves lunch starting at noon on Saturday’s and Sunday’s. Making a reservation is the right move here, but if you get there early, there’s usually a space or two at the bar.
Four thoughtful courses plus a delicate dessert and an incredibly reasonable pricetag of $32 per person.
They’re located at 295 Grand St.
Reserve your table here. Let’s all do lunch again.
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